Queen of Procrastination

Posted on March 4, 2013 by simpleijustdo

By Portobellostreet

That’s what it should say on my nametag. Yes, I have valid reasons for it many times, and in any case, I’m pretty sure it’s not something that’s going to change. In this case, I have been procrastinating getting back into the exercise thing, thinking that if The Man and I set a date for a wedding, I’d have a great motivation and a goal all rolled into one, so why start exercising until we have that set?…

See how my mind works?

Well… We haven’t set a definite date. And I realize that this is just procrastination in disguise.

After checking out this post and then this post over at zenhabits.net (I know, I KNOW, research on the internet is another not-so-clever disguise for procrastination, too!), I developed a plan, keeping in mind my previous insights into my own roadblocks to exercising, and the great points in the posts about triggers, motivation, and goals.

Step One: go to bed earlier (9:30 instead of 10). I had an epiphany when I realized there was no real reason to stay up until 10, as I am often tired before then. The Man and I used to talk on the phone after The Boy’s bedtime, but we talk earlier in the evening now, ergo I do not have to stay up that late…
Step Two: Three times per week, I will wake up 20 minutes early to fit in yoga, or the bike, or some other cardio or strength training (that I’ve probably found on Pinterest).
My goal is to lose a few inches off my “hips”. This is my trouble spot, and the reason my pants are starting to not-fit.
Report: I will measure myself once a week, and post about it to you people (even if you don’t want to hear about it), because it’ll make me accountable (probably on the simpleijustdo.com facebook page).
Reward: I will also reward myself if I meet my plan each week. No food! Just books, shoes or other mild obsessions…

I hope I’m ready for this! I hope I can stick with it for awhile!

Starting measurement: 41″ (Ugh…)

Overwhelmed

Posted on March 3, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Somehow this seems much easier…

It’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed these days. I started to panic today when I realized it was already March (again – I’ve been doing this a few times a day since Friday), and we basically have three and a half months to prepare for one of the biggest moves of our lives.

Moving stinks. Before the divorce, it seems like we moved just about every year. I’m not sure why, but it was pretty awful. Especially the time I was pregnant, and was not allowed to carry anything, and my ex-mother-in-law set up my kitchen… I never, ever could find anything in that house.

When we moved to our current house, I was finally in charge, and all things considered, it was a pretty organized move. I had help, of course, and hired movers. This time around, I will also have help, and will not have to hire movers, which is a bonus. The Man actually used to do this for a living back in the day, so that’s an even bigger bonus.

And the packing up won’t even be that difficult. As I said, I’ve done it so many times, I could probably do it in my sleep, and find myself visually scanning each room even now, and making mental notes of things that will be donated/sold/freecycled or packed for the move. Most of the moving checklists you find online suggest starting no later than 6 weeks before, and some as early as 12 weeks before. Well, we’re at about 15, so you can see why I am feeling a little anxiety already.

No, the part that is on my mind the most are the details of life that will need to be taken care of: medical records, school records, bank accounts, change of address with all and sundry, insurance, drivers license and registration… All of the minutiae that can be quite overwhelming. Luckily I have some personal days that I can utilize between now and then to help me take care of the details.

If you have any moving tips, please share below. I could use all the help I can get!

This Week (I can’t believe it’s March!)

Posted on March 2, 2013 by simpleijustdo

First Crocus from a few years ago

This week I am…

Re-Reading Emma by Jane Austen, second only to Pride and Prejudice in my book.

Watching Dr. Who on Netflix. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and I enjoy it! Campy, but fun.

Anticipating the end of next week, when my busiest time of year comes to an end. Also, Spring Break when I get to head South again to see The Man, and our moving day in June which is fast approaching!

Listening to very little, and enjoying the quiet.

Lamenting my cracked fingernails, the fireplace pilot light not wanting to be re-lit, my way-too-long hair (I’m about 2 weeks overdue for a cut!), and this darned cold.

Trying to develop a new plan to work out, and pre-organize my kitchen.

Getting up the nerve to do my taxes.

In disbelief that I’m hearing birds chirping outside (and trying not to get too excited yet for the end of Winter – we have a solid 6 weeks left here).

Savoring any sleep I can get, quiet time with the boy, purposeful disruption to our routine (mostly trips to the convenience store), and not having to do anything today.

Happy Weekend, Everyone!

Pre-Organizing My Kitchen

Posted on February 27, 2013 by simpleijustdo

The Man, The Boy and I went to our local IKEA store last week and walked out with… nothing! For the first time ever (as far as I can recall), I walked out without buying a single thing! But, I did pick up the IKEA Kitchen Dreambook, the Buying Guide called “Storage Solutions for Your Kitchen”, and the Kitchen Planning Guide, all free resources from IKEA.

We’re not buying a new kitchen anytime soon, but I have been looking for ideas about how best to organize the one we have (the one I’ll be moving my stuff into this year). Because I know that, like goldfish, stuff tends to grow to fit its surroundings, and I don’t need more kitchen stuff. I just need to store it in a smart way.

I haven’t given it a thought until now because my current kitchen is tiny. As in, I have three drawers, and seven total cabinets. Stuff is hidden, but once you open those cabinets and drawers, you’re on your own. Good luck finding anything.

I also checked out the book, 1001 Ideas for Kitchen Organization by Joseph R. Provey in January (and I’ve renewed it so I can continue to ogle the pictures). It also has many ideas for storage, even if you are just re-organizing and not building new, and has lots of how-tos for retro-fitting existing cabinets with new features to make them more functional.

My next step is to catalog all of the kitchen items that will be making the move, and classify them according to the three main work zones: cooking, washing, and storage (sounds like a perfect job for Excel – I know, I’m a dweeb). Once I have that accomplished, I can start to allocate items to certain cabinets, so that when I pack them for the big move, I can pack them and label them according to work zones, and even cabinets.

And finally, based on my planning, I can get The Man to work on retro-fitting our cabinets with pullout trays, lazy susans, and helper trays.

Tee-hee!

Crazy Busy Week

Posted on February 26, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Don’t Worry – that’s not my hairy arm! (stress by bottled_void)

This week is one of those where I just know I’m going to be stressed out, and after the huge meltdown this weekend, and The Man leaving, I’m rather dreading it. I have an evaluation by my boss, multiple after school meetings that will last multiple hours, the landlord is due to come over to inspect the house to see what needed repairs there are, and I have an evening school event. I also have to be “on call” for a nonprofit board meeting, you know, one that I backed out of because I was so busy this week…

The bright spot is a Girls’ Night Out right in the middle of the week — I just hope I can enjoy it with the rest of this going on. And I hope the forecasted snowstorm doesn’t mess that up!

I also hope The Boy is OK with a babysitter for two nights in a row. Usually it isn’t a problem, but after this weekend, I’m a little skittish.

All I can do is take it day by day, hour by hour, and just try to stay as calm as possible. Oh, and remember to breathe. And maybe stop for some sweet tea on the way to work, or pick up a magazine to read for the evening…

Anyone else a little crazy this week?

What’s Working

Posted on February 16, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I talk about a lot of stuff that I’m going to do, but I don’t always get back to you and let you know what’s working, so…

The cold oatmeal in a jar? That’s been working! Like clockwork. Except just in the last week or so, I’ve been getting a little sick of it, so I’m going to switch up some flavors.
The 6-Shelf Sweater Sorter! The Boy actually filled it himself this past weekend and was proud of himself for doing so. And the best part is that he is wearing every pair of his pants now, not the same pair every day. Success! It also keeps me on track with making sure the laundry gets done so it can be filled.
It’s early days yet, but the Magnetic Menu Planner is working SO well! It helps with making the grocery list, and reminding me what’s planned (and what needs to be defrosted, etc.). I have been cooking like a fiend, and loving it. I’m even freezing leftovers and reducing waste.

Another success I’ve had recently is with chores. I have written about allowance, and not basing it on chores before, but saw this post about how to make a visual chart for kids, and allowing them to have input. I implemented only the chart of what gets done each day, and The Boy is actually doing chores (like wiping the kitchen counter, and picking up his things)! The best part? We haven’t even talked about allowance – he’s doing it because I need him to help out (and I need to teach him basic living skills). You can’t get any better than that.

Take a minute and think about what’s working for you lately. Let us know how it’s going in the comments below.

Something Borrowed, Nothing New

Posted on February 12, 2013 by simpleijustdo

A letter from my grandpa to my grandma, dated 1939

My grandparents were married in 1925, in New York City. My grandfather was 25, my grandmother 20, and they had eloped, staying with a cousin, as they were both from upstate New York, near Buffalo. They were both Italian immigrants, and as such, very Catholic, and this eloping thing got them in pretty hot water. And they knew it would. They went so far as to rent bridal regalia and have a picture taken (not a cheap process in 1925!) as proof of the marriage, and the seriousness of their intentions to my great-grandfather. It didn’t work real well, as he didn’t speak to them until after they had their first child, almost two years later, even though they lived only blocks from each other.

Before they eloped, they dated of course, but my great-grandfather made it clear that one of my grandmother’s brothers had to “chaperone”. My grandfather was a bowler (scandalous!), and hung out at a bar called “The Red Front” which wasn’t the most savory of places, and so my great-grandfather didn’t think him a suitable match for his eldest daughter. Some of the brothers did a better job of chaperoning than others, and some of the younger kids reported having learned to kiss from watching my grandparents on the porch at the end of a date.

I have been reflecting on this, because sometimes we think we are the first to experience everything we experience. And sometimes we think our ancestors led rather boring lives. But I admire their strength and courage. They knew they had found their one true love, and they pursued each other, even though there were clearly obstacles, namely my great-grandfather. And it was important to them that he understand, which he eventually did. My grandparents were married for 63 years, and although it looked like a typical love from the outside, you never know a relationship unless you are in it.

He called her “Darling”. ❤

The Look

Posted on February 9, 2013 by simpleijustdo

You know the saying about there being a fine line between bravery and stupidity?

Increasingly, I have been getting “the look” from people I know and work with. The look that says the person can’t quite tell which one I am, brave or stupid. This “idea” of giving it all up and moving south. “Is she really gonna do it?” is what that look says. Mostly it’s people who don’t know me too well, because the people who know me well also know it isn’t an “idea” — it’s a reality.

I can understand the look. I can understand the thought process behind it. But the truth is, my parents prepped me for big moments like this the entire time I was growing up. Education, education, education was the key to independence, independence, independence. For a long, long time, I assumed it was freedom from depending on someone else. But it isn’t just independence from other people. It’s also independence as my own person. Independence from a job, career path, lifestyle, society, thought, etc. The ability to think for myself and know myself enough to know when to walk away. To walk toward something simpler, easier, more satisfying. Toward a smaller pile of money, sure, but much more happiness. And not just for me, but for my boy, too.

And it’s not all that easy. Some things will be infinitely harder down there. But there will be love. Lots of love. And I guess I never quite stopped believing that love is enough, especially now that I know what true love feels like.

The most interesting part about “the look”? Mixed in with all of the incredulity, disbelief, and sizing up?

There’s more than a little jealousy in there, too.

Schools and the “Quick-Fix” Solution

Posted on February 4, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I don’t often write about school, neither mine nor The Boy’s because it puts me in a precarious position. And I just don’t want to go there. Yet.

But there is one thing that I think I can safely generalize about public school systems today, and that is the preponderance of “band-aids”: quick-fix measures to address very real, very big problems. These “measures” are often implemented in a hurried fashion, without much forethought, and end up being a patch-as-you-go solution which doesn’t really work for anyone, but is there so that we can say we have it.

For instance, after Newtown, The Boy’s school realized that in the morning and afternoons, they were allowing parents (and virtually anyone) unfettered access to the school due to drop-off and pick-up for Kids Club (but also clubs and other sponsored events after hours). The day following Newtown, the door was locked in the morning. No letter home, no signs on the door. Nothing. Because we are almost always first to school, we had to pound on the door to get the custodian to come and open it up for us. Later that same week was The Boy’s school band concert, held during the school day, and every single parent attending the concert had to be buzzed in, and had to report to the office, sign in, and get a visitors badge. That’s about 100 people!

some old fire alarm bells by hpeguk from flickr

some old fire alarm bells (by hpeguk via flickr)

After break, they had installed a new bell to push, which rings in the gym so that a kids club worker can answer the door. Can you imagine how often those people are running back and forth (as opposed to, you know, supervising children)? And what if the person is ringing to be let in for some club other than kids club? Do they let them in if they don’t recognize them? And what if there is an event going on in the gym, like a parent meeting, concert, or girls scout ceremony, and that bell rings? Not to mention that the bell is loud, and rings like an old fashioned fire alarm… Yup. A fire alarm sound for all of those kids on the spectrum. Going off about every 4 minutes. How nice.

And the response to people who ask these questions is, “We’re working on it.”

I get it. You want to make your school safe, and you want to make it safe now (although, why this wasn’t considered after Columbine, I don’t know). Except that a little notification, and some planning and forethought (and maybe a little money spent) upfront would go a lot further than a piecemeal, thoughtless plan like this, that is still being “worked on”.

This is where schools look unprofessional, because it really is. And this is only an example of the many “band-aids” I witness myself and hear about from others like this, almost on a daily basis. I know educators are short on time and money, but those are really just excuses. There is no sense in not doing something right the first time, from the get-go, with a carefully thought out plan. And there really is no excuse.

The Common Sense Bride (Who Has Done It Before)

Posted on February 2, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Getting engaged has meant a mixture of emotions, many expected, and yet some unexpected. And of course, now there’s Pinterest. And anyone who has a Pinterest account has a wedding board of some kind – everyone. This is a bit of a peek into the minds of the young brides out there who are planning their little hearts out (or more accurately, their bank accounts out).

You see, I did the whole big wedding thing the first time around, and I don’t begrudge them that at all. But.

Pinterest has a way of giving you great ideas while also imposing some sort of expectation of craftiness. Many mommy bloggers have written about the inability to “live up to” their Pinterest-ideal, as if it was some sort of new gold standard. And now the brides have set themselves up for that, as well. And this can only end in disappointment and exhaustion. I can see those weary young ladies, staying up all night to craft this or that x300 guests for their wedding. And then on to the next detail.

And the “resources” for the modern bride? The $10-20 bridal magazine that is 99% advertisements for dresses (and since you will only wear one dress [okay, there is a high-dollar trend to have two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the reception *gulp*], it’s really not that good of a return on your investment, especially when there’s this thing called the internet where you could find all of those dresses without paying the extra money for the magazine… but I digress…), the “advice” blogs who dictate who gets to wear veils, and who doesn’t, and that yes, you should definitely provide your guests with favors because they will remember the details… I call BS. How many weddings have you been to? Do you remember who gave favors and who didn’t? I certainly don’t. I can’t even recall a single favor I have received, that’s how little I cared about them, and those brides who did have them could have saved a ton of cash, time, and sanity if they had forgone that one detail.

I read one piece of good advice recently, and it was this: decide on the three aspects of your shindig on which you would like to splurge a bit, and keep it to three. Mine would be photography, bouquet, and dress. But you have to understand that for me, $300 will be splurging (and we may be talking silk flowers, and a photography student from the community college, here…).But while I have ideas of what I’d like, I do not have my heart set on anything in particular (and I know that The Man will have ideas, too. We’ll be making decisions together). I have the perspective of the Second-Time Bride who has realized the most important thing is something you can’t buy or craft from Pinterest. It’s the love and partnership of the one you are marrying. Nothing else really matters.