Getting engaged has meant a mixture of emotions, many expected, and yet some unexpected.  And of course, now there’s Pinterest.  And anyone who has a Pinterest account has a wedding board of some kind – everyone.  This is a bit of a peek into the minds of the young brides out there who are planning their little hearts out (or more accurately, their bank accounts out).

You see, I did the whole big wedding thing the first time around, and I don’t begrudge them that at all.  But.

Pinterest has a way of giving you great ideas while also imposing some sort of expectation of craftiness.  Many mommy bloggers have written about the inability to “live up to” their Pinterest-ideal, as if it was some sort of new gold standard.  And now the brides have set themselves up for that, as well.  And this can only end in disappointment and exhaustion.  I can see those weary young ladies, staying up all night to craft this or that x300 guests for their wedding.  And then on to the next detail.

And the “resources” for the modern bride?  The $10-20 bridal magazine that is 99% advertisements for dresses (and since you will only wear one dress [okay, there is a high-dollar trend to have two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the reception *gulp*], it’s really not that good of a return on your investment, especially when there’s this thing called the internet where you could find all of those dresses without paying the extra money for the magazine…  but I digress…), the “advice” blogs who dictate who gets to wear veils, and who doesn’t, and that yes, you should definitely provide your guests with favors because they will remember the details…  I call BS.  How many weddings have you been to?  Do you remember who gave favors and who didn’t?  I certainly don’t.  I can’t even recall a single favor I have received, that’s how little I cared about them, and those brides who did have them could have saved a ton of cash, time, and sanity if they had forgone that one detail.

I read one piece of good advice recently, and it was this: decide on the three aspects of your shindig on which you would like to splurge a bit, and keep it to three.  Mine would be photography, bouquet, and dress.  But you have to understand that for me, $300 will be splurging (and we may be talking silk flowers, and a photography student from the community college, here…).But while I have ideas of what I’d like, I do not have my heart set on anything in particular (and I know that The Man will have ideas, too.  We’ll be making decisions together).  I have the perspective of the Second-Time Bride who has realized the most important thing is something you can’t buy or craft from Pinterest.  It’s the love and partnership of the one you are marrying.  Nothing else really matters.