Saturday Stuff

Posted on March 9, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Saturdays are our designated lazy days, where we recover from the week. We try to stay in our pajamas as long as possible, often all day, and The Boy fends for himself for meals, as do I. We each do our own thing. For The Boy, that means Spongebob on Netflix, Wii, and messing with Bionicles. For me, it’s often way too much computer time, watching movies and TV programs on Netflix, writing blog posts, and planning for all of this stuff we’re gonna do in the next few crazy months.

Today, I am

Researching for a summer trip to Disney. The Man wants to do 3 days max, and probably stay at a Motel 6, so I’ll have some negotiating to do… Checking out this site for families with autism who are planning a trip to WDW – awesome resource!
Looking into 15′ truck rentals for the move in June, and how much that will cost, in addition to gas costs at about 8 miles per gallon (gulp). Also pricing boxes… (So far, Budget is a much better deal than UHaul).
On Pinterest, looking for pins about moving, seeing if there are tips I haven’t heard of before – Did you know plates are supposed to be packed upright rather than flat? I didn’t.
Watching Dr. Who on Netflix, and trying to get over Rose Tyler’s absence.
making sweet tea.
Missing The Man something fierce.

What are you up to today?

An Apology to Dav Pilkey… Sort Of…

Posted on March 8, 2013 by simpleijustdo

“This is the story about Tippy Tinkletrousers, and how he didn’t really die at the end of the last epic novel…”

So the follow up book to the last Captain Underpants book, which really, really upset The Boy (and I suspect a lot of kids his age), with a rather graphic death on its last pages has been released (Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers). I stood in the store and read the beginning, wondering how Pilkey would get himself out of it. Sure enough, there was an explanation: It was “misdirection”, and weren’t we stupid adults for complaining about something that never happened. In fact, the whole second chapter is about how stupid adults are for squashing all the fun that any kid ever attempts to have, and its because its easier for us adults to yell at kids than reflect on our own sad lives.

I’m not going to get in an offended huff, because just like a lot of satire, there are grains of truth to what he says.

But. I didn’t get offended by that book until my kid got upset. My son was not laughing at the ending of that book (and frankly, I would have found it more than a little disturbing if he was laughing at what was represented as a graphic death). My son didn’t get your joke, and certainly was not familiar with the concept of misdirection.

So, Mr. Pilkey, I guess it was all a trick, and I’m a stupid parent to get offended at what was represented as a graphic death that wasn’t really a graphic death. But, does that mean the next chapter is going to be deriding the stupid kids who were upset by the same thing?

Words and Meaning

Posted on March 7, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Is it time for the soap?

On the heels of “Spread the Word to End the Word” Day, we are struggling with offensive words and their meanings in our own home. We went through this awhile ago, when The Boy wrote down every single bad word he had ever heard, and wow, there were quite a few. It took a numbered list form, and thereafter he would refer to each word by their number (“Mom! That man said #11!!”). He had a classmate a few years ago, also on the spectrum, who had a hard time not using these words, and they sort of “rubbed off” on The Boy. He even ended up creating a few made-up curse words, adding them to “the list”, and then he really confused me. He began to use them in the correct context, using a made-up curse word when angry, but it wasn’t really a curse word, so does that deserve a consequence?? My head was spinning… This lasted for quite awhile, but like all obsessions, petered out.

Nowadays, I’m not sure if he says one from time to time to test the waters, to see how bad they really are. I’m not sure if he doesn’t always remember what’s what, although he is much too clever for that, I think. So I really don’t know why he chose to use the n-word the other day. He claimed to have seen it on a YouTube video, and was reciting a line that he had heard, thinking it was funny. It’s quite possible. But he also somehow knew that it was inappropriate to say, because he anticipated getting in trouble for saying it (which he didn’t, but more on that later). There is a disconnect somewhere in there about bad words, knowing he shouldn’t say them, but still saying them and I just can’t wrap my brain around it.

The other part of this equation, is that The Boy doesn’t realize when he is “talking back”. He is such a good mimic, that I think he has picked up “giving attitude” this way. But he doesn’t know enough to identify when he is doing it himself, because when I call him on “using that tone of voice”, or “talking to me that way”, he has no clue what I’m talking about, and thinks he has said a bad word to make me angry.

Most upsetting to him in all of this is being certain that he has gotten in trouble, and that he will lose friends because he used that word. He sets himself off in a self-judging spiral that will last several days, repeating that he needs me to write him a social story, that if he says it again, he will not be able to go to the computer lab, and whatever other punishment he can come up with that he deserves, because clearly, he thinks he does deserve it. All of us adults are just scratching our heads trying to figure out how to talk to him about it so he will understand.

Peace of Mind

Posted on March 6, 2013 by simpleijustdo

One of the things that I have been most nervous about the move, OK, more like THE ONE THING that has given me a good bit of anxiety is the program for The Boy in the state/county/school where we will be. You just never know what you are walking into, even with a diagnosis and an IEP in hand. You may remember that I had spoken with someone who worked in a county a good bit away from where we were who said they didn’t have a resource room to speak of, and didn’t have any aides in the rooms with the kids. Considering that The Boy spends a good amount in his resource room, I got a bit panicky about what I was going to be subjecting him to.

I had put out some feelers through some contacts with the state Autism Society, and hadn’t really been able to connect with anyone, until this weekend. I finally got in contact with some parents who run the local chapter, and was able to speak on the phone with one lady who was able to give me some insight, at least into her experience. She had also moved into the area a year and a half ago, and has a son that is very close in age to The Boy. She was able to allay my fears a bit, and let me know about how much their little chapter has been accomplishing. Not only was I relieved, but I also began to get a little excited. Here is a group that is actually making positive change in the community for kids on the spectrum, and providing opportunities, and even a summer day camp! YES! Exactly what I was hoping for.

Not to mention that this group is a way for us to meet people like us, which will be one of the most difficult parts of the transition for both The Boy and I, making new friends. I often complain about talking to people on the phone, but this time, I am sooo glad I did.

On Being Older

Posted on March 5, 2013 by simpleijustdo

By ArtisticZen

This past weekend was The Man’s birthday. I may have mentioned that there is a considerable difference between our ages, and he would much prefer me to be in my 40s than still in my 30s. He would also like me to have a few grey hairs. He would be much more comfortable if I was a tad older, but there’s not much we can do about that, so he will have to remain just shy of his comfort zone on this one.

Besides the two times since we’ve been dating that he has been mistaken for my father (ouch!), it hasn’t really been an issue, and in reality, neither of us thinks about it much. We get along so well, and rarely run out of things to talk about, as some would suspect a couple with such a sizeable age difference might experience. It just doesn’t matter.

We have differences of opinion, sure. But not on the big things, the things that matter. Sometimes he will reminisce about something that happened in the seventies or from before I was born, and we sometimes giggle about that. He’ll say, “Oh, don’t you remember that? You were two.”

We’re safe on the “half your age plus seven” rule, and besides that, we’re both adults. Neither of us has a a ton of money to chase, neither of us is a hot supermodel (although we are still extremely attracted to each other, even after three years). There are no ulterior motives, so it’s a non-issue. Besides, in another 20 years, who knows what we’ll look like?!

Queen of Procrastination

Posted on March 4, 2013 by simpleijustdo

By Portobellostreet

That’s what it should say on my nametag. Yes, I have valid reasons for it many times, and in any case, I’m pretty sure it’s not something that’s going to change. In this case, I have been procrastinating getting back into the exercise thing, thinking that if The Man and I set a date for a wedding, I’d have a great motivation and a goal all rolled into one, so why start exercising until we have that set?…

See how my mind works?

Well… We haven’t set a definite date. And I realize that this is just procrastination in disguise.

After checking out this post and then this post over at zenhabits.net (I know, I KNOW, research on the internet is another not-so-clever disguise for procrastination, too!), I developed a plan, keeping in mind my previous insights into my own roadblocks to exercising, and the great points in the posts about triggers, motivation, and goals.

Step One: go to bed earlier (9:30 instead of 10). I had an epiphany when I realized there was no real reason to stay up until 10, as I am often tired before then. The Man and I used to talk on the phone after The Boy’s bedtime, but we talk earlier in the evening now, ergo I do not have to stay up that late…
Step Two: Three times per week, I will wake up 20 minutes early to fit in yoga, or the bike, or some other cardio or strength training (that I’ve probably found on Pinterest).
My goal is to lose a few inches off my “hips”. This is my trouble spot, and the reason my pants are starting to not-fit.
Report: I will measure myself once a week, and post about it to you people (even if you don’t want to hear about it), because it’ll make me accountable (probably on the simpleijustdo.com facebook page).
Reward: I will also reward myself if I meet my plan each week. No food! Just books, shoes or other mild obsessions…

I hope I’m ready for this! I hope I can stick with it for awhile!

Starting measurement: 41″ (Ugh…)

Overwhelmed

Posted on March 3, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Somehow this seems much easier…

It’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed these days. I started to panic today when I realized it was already March (again – I’ve been doing this a few times a day since Friday), and we basically have three and a half months to prepare for one of the biggest moves of our lives.

Moving stinks. Before the divorce, it seems like we moved just about every year. I’m not sure why, but it was pretty awful. Especially the time I was pregnant, and was not allowed to carry anything, and my ex-mother-in-law set up my kitchen… I never, ever could find anything in that house.

When we moved to our current house, I was finally in charge, and all things considered, it was a pretty organized move. I had help, of course, and hired movers. This time around, I will also have help, and will not have to hire movers, which is a bonus. The Man actually used to do this for a living back in the day, so that’s an even bigger bonus.

And the packing up won’t even be that difficult. As I said, I’ve done it so many times, I could probably do it in my sleep, and find myself visually scanning each room even now, and making mental notes of things that will be donated/sold/freecycled or packed for the move. Most of the moving checklists you find online suggest starting no later than 6 weeks before, and some as early as 12 weeks before. Well, we’re at about 15, so you can see why I am feeling a little anxiety already.

No, the part that is on my mind the most are the details of life that will need to be taken care of: medical records, school records, bank accounts, change of address with all and sundry, insurance, drivers license and registration… All of the minutiae that can be quite overwhelming. Luckily I have some personal days that I can utilize between now and then to help me take care of the details.

If you have any moving tips, please share below. I could use all the help I can get!

This Week (I can’t believe it’s March!)

Posted on March 2, 2013 by simpleijustdo

First Crocus from a few years ago

This week I am…

Re-Reading Emma by Jane Austen, second only to Pride and Prejudice in my book.

Watching Dr. Who on Netflix. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and I enjoy it! Campy, but fun.

Anticipating the end of next week, when my busiest time of year comes to an end. Also, Spring Break when I get to head South again to see The Man, and our moving day in June which is fast approaching!

Listening to very little, and enjoying the quiet.

Lamenting my cracked fingernails, the fireplace pilot light not wanting to be re-lit, my way-too-long hair (I’m about 2 weeks overdue for a cut!), and this darned cold.

Trying to develop a new plan to work out, and pre-organize my kitchen.

Getting up the nerve to do my taxes.

In disbelief that I’m hearing birds chirping outside (and trying not to get too excited yet for the end of Winter – we have a solid 6 weeks left here).

Savoring any sleep I can get, quiet time with the boy, purposeful disruption to our routine (mostly trips to the convenience store), and not having to do anything today.

Happy Weekend, Everyone!

The Worst

Posted on March 1, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Being a single mom and being ill has to be one of the worst things to experience on the planet. Feeling like crap? Well too darn bad because your child needs to you to take of him like usual, and a child with autism doesn’t have a whole lot of empathy for your situation. As The Boy told me a few years ago, “You can’t always get what you want, Mom. Just like the Rolling Stones said.”

One of the other worst feelings in the world has got to be the panicky feeling you get when you can’t find daycare for your child. Or in my case, evening care. When you’ve exhausted your lineup of babysitters, and you don’t have a choice to miss whatever it is that necessitates a babysitter.

Yeah, I’m feeling both of those right now. It’s pretty far from my happy place. But I’m hoping to spend the weekend recuperating from this cold, and coming up with some magic solution to my evening-care problem.

Calgon, take me away!