Hating Homework

Homework is an issue.

In the past, The Boy has put up quite a fuss about doing homework, but would usually end up doing it grudgingly. I sometimes made executive decisions about how much we would do, and whether or not we would do it, based on how meaningful I thought it would be.  Luckily, teachers over the past couple of years have been fairly understanding.

by .pstThis week marks our third week in school, and we have had very little to do, thankfully.  But on Thursday last week, The Boy dug his heels in and simply refused to write a paragraph for social studies, due the next day. I took away a privilege and wrote an email to his TA and his social studies teacher to give them a heads up.

The next day, we negotiated. We talked about promises, and what it means to give someone your word.  He then promised he would do his paragraph 5 minutes after dinner on Monday. We reminded him all weekend about his promise, and he seemed to understand and expect what we had talked about would happen.

Then Monday came.

After dinner, I brought my computer to his room, and the complaining began (“I wasted my time!” is a common refrain). I wheedled and cajoled, reminded him of just how serious it was to give someone your word and go back on it. I asked him how he felt when someone broke a promise to him.

Nothing.

I failed.

I told him I was not going to argue with him about homework all night, but that he had broken a promise, and warned him that the next time he needed me to trust him, I probably wouldn’t because he broke his word.  And I sent another email to the school.

This is a common issue in autism households.  However, I don’t think I will be able to persuade an IEP team to eliminate homework entirely. Which means I have another nine months of this to look forward to.

Tomorrow’s another day.

Advertisements

The Formula

More and more, this school year, I am wondering what the heck The Boy is communicating through all of this behavior.  My sweet little boy is refusing to do work, refusing to go to class, refusing to go to school… like someone has flipped a switch. When we experience a negative behavior (i.e. when all hell breaks loose), after the initial shock (Who is that demon child and where did he put my son?), I am left to figure. Autism parents are familiar with this. Determine the trigger and try to eliminate or decrease it so you can better manage the fallout, and predict when it might happen again. Except when you cannot for the life of you figure out the trigger.  Could it be puberty? That magical ingredient that changes body chemistry and is our current prime suspect? Is it medication that needs tweaking? Is it a virus, which always makes The Boy’s behavior completely wonky? Is it someone at school making fun of him? Is it a teacher? Is it..? Is it..? We are trying to take this thing and try to determine its formula, its ingredients. And it’s a difficult, difficult thing.

Who are you and what have you done with The Boy??

Who are you and what have you done with The Boy??

Shared here at Mama Moments Mondays – check it out!