Mom’s Voice

Got a text this morning from The Boy’s TA: “He’s having a rough morning and wondered if he could call you. Are you available?” I said sure and within a few minutes, was talking to him on the phone.

It was a weird night and morning. We had flash flooding last night so I had to leave my car at Grammy’s which meant The Man had to drive me back this morning to retrieve my car. And then he had to drive The Boy to school which had a two-hour delay. Obviously enough to trigger a rough morning, although he seemed in good spirits before school.

“I should’ve just gone to Grammy’s with you this morning. I’m not feeling too good.”

“Not feeling good, like with your emotions or your body?”

“My body.”

“Well you kind of have a shorter day today, and I do too. So try to stick it out and I will meet you at Grammy’s after school, ok?”

“Ok.”

His TA said he was much more responsive after the phone call and had started getting his things together to go to class. For some reason he seems to just need to hear my voice sometimes to reassure those anxieties that are keeping him from doing what needs to be done. We have meds now, that are as-needed (we haven’t needed them yet) for this type of thing. But I’m happy that talking to me seems to do the trick for now. Sometimes I just need to talk to my mom too.

The Ex and his Control Issues

English: Cell phone icon

At least, that’s one theory about what’s going on (or not going on, as the case may be).

I texted the ex: “We need to talk about Christmas so that we are on the same page”.  He responded, “Sounds good.  I will call Friday night around 7 if that’s ok”.  I replied, “We’re going to the movies for Fun Friday… How about 8?”  His response, “That will work.  Talk to ya then.”

Sounds like a pretty cordial conversation, right?  The most cordial we’ve had all year, in fact.  The outcome?  No call around 8pm.  In fact, he didn’t call until over an hour later, and I didn’t answer.  I was already on the phone, and even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have responded.  Am I playing games?  No.  I am showing him that my time is valuable, and when we make an agreement, he needs to stick to it.  Just like if I let him swear at me, and continue talking to him, that communicates to him that it’s OK to swear at me.  If I answer the phone when he calls an hour late, that communicates to him that it’s just fine for him to do that, and it’s not.  I’m not trying to control his behavior, but I am trying to get him to be respectful in his dealings with me.

He left a voicemail saying, “Sorry for not calling right at 8, I got busy.  I’ll try giving you another call tomorrow.”

He never called back.  We’ll keep trying, I suppose.