The Ex and his Control Issues

English: Cell phone icon

At least, that’s one theory about what’s going on (or not going on, as the case may be).

I texted the ex: “We need to talk about Christmas so that we are on the same page”.  He responded, “Sounds good.  I will call Friday night around 7 if that’s ok”.  I replied, “We’re going to the movies for Fun Friday… How about 8?”  His response, “That will work.  Talk to ya then.”

Sounds like a pretty cordial conversation, right?  The most cordial we’ve had all year, in fact.  The outcome?  No call around 8pm.  In fact, he didn’t call until over an hour later, and I didn’t answer.  I was already on the phone, and even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have responded.  Am I playing games?  No.  I am showing him that my time is valuable, and when we make an agreement, he needs to stick to it.  Just like if I let him swear at me, and continue talking to him, that communicates to him that it’s OK to swear at me.  If I answer the phone when he calls an hour late, that communicates to him that it’s just fine for him to do that, and it’s not.  I’m not trying to control his behavior, but I am trying to get him to be respectful in his dealings with me.

He left a voicemail saying, “Sorry for not calling right at 8, I got busy.  I’ll try giving you another call tomorrow.”

He never called back.  We’ll keep trying, I suppose.