Tag Archives: Special Education

Addendum to My Last Post

Posted on by

2

Let me assure you that when I wrote my last post, there were several drafts, and I let time pass so that it wasn’t the rant it started out as.  The problem here is not his teacher, as it rarely is.  Could she have been more proactive? Could she (still) be better using her resources?  Yes, and yes.

However.

The real problem is part of a much larger problem with education everywhere in our country.  Too often, teachers and students are made to “get by” with what they have.  Sometimes fault lies with local administrators and school boards.  Sometimes, fault lies with the state and federal governments.  It doesn’t really matter.  The fact is that we say we care about education in this country, and we just don’t.  When millages come up, we vote them down in fear of higher taxes.  When politicians run for office, we care only about our own personal hot-button issues and where each candidate stands on those – their records on education are often a secondary consideration (if not further down).  Very few people ever attend a school board meeting, let alone parent-teacher conferences.

In my son’s case, there are two special education teachers for about 40 students in the school.  They have one aide.  They just started a self-contained classroom and hired a brand new teacher for that program – excellent!  But that doesn’t help those kids who are higher functioning, and need adult supports in the classroom like my son.

The Boy and I met with his teacher at the school yesterday – on the holiday weekend.  She spent the day there working on setting up schedules and supports for my son – how could we not go in to help?  She still doesn’t quite get it, but she’s trying.  I can’t ask much more from her.

But you had better believe I won’t stop asking those with hiring power.

What I’m Up To

Posted on by

0

  • I have an “orientation” at Michael’s (the craft store) tomorrow to become an official employee, so I can start teaching scrapbooking classes.  The pay isn’t as good as I anticipated, but I hope it will supplement my other part-time job…
  • tutoring!  So far, I kinda sorta have one student (his mom and I have a game plan, but not a schedule yet), and he has autism – yay!  Suffice it to say I could make up to $30 a week all told!!  I know, exciting, right?  But in about three weeks, once I can get my classes set up and advertised, and parents start to realize their kids need help, I should get some more hours at Michael’s, and I should get some more tutoring students.  And it might be enough to make my car payment…
  • I’m waiting to hear back from the county about whether or not we qualify for The Boy to be on the state-provided health insurance program.  Any day now…  Nah.  More like 30 days from now…  Hopefully.
  • I’m going to be volunteering and helping The Boy’s band director out a couple of days a week.  I also told him I could come in when he has a substitute.  He thought I might want to be the substitute, and I assured him I did not.  If I’m a volunteer, I can get away with a lot more…  Heh, heh, heh…
  • I’m trying to work with The Boy’s school to get his services ironed out.  They are NOT right, and I think they have had very limited experience with kids with autism.  More on that in another post, but suffice it to say that right now, I’m reading some books from Wrightslaw about Special Education Law.  Just in case.
  • I’m helping my hubby with some of his big projects.  We joke that I don’t get paid, but when he makes money, I make money, and this allows him to get done quicker, which means more work, which means more money…  you get the picture.  Plus I get to spend the day with him, which is nice about 99% of the time 😉
  • I get to drop off and pick up my kid right from school – no daycare!  I’ve never been able to do this, and it’s pretty cool.

So in summation, I don’t have a ton of money coming in, and my insurance runs out this week.  But for the first time in about 17 years, I’m able to give thought and energy to my own kid and my own family, and I have the time to do it, and do it well.

at the docks

Gearing up for Middle School

Posted on by

0

A new Landaff teacher in the 1940s watches as ...I met with The Boy’s special education teacher yesterday, who had just been handed his “file” a few hours previous to the meeting, and the county autism specialist who has 16 schools-worth of students on her caseload.  There are two special ed teachers at his school, and I had been told that The Boy would probably be assigned to the other, and he indeed had until a few hours before the meeting.  I can’t say exactly why, but after looking at their info on the school website, I was secretly pleased about the last minute switch.  Needless to say she hadn’t had any time to review his file, and come to find out, it didn’t have the copy of the IEP and testing that I had sent to the county autism specialist in it anyway…

So we talked about The Boy, about his strengths and areas of struggle, about what motivates him and what sets him off.  We talked about the similarities between the programs in our new state and our previous state, and the types of accommodations that could be made for him within his school day.  We talked about for which subjects inclusion was going to work, and for which he would need to be pulled out to the resource room.  We talked about computers, band, and lunch…

The autism consultant seemed overconfident, and the special ed teacher seemed overwhelmed (she was missing a portion of her own teachers’ meeting to meet with me), but both seemed receptive and open.

And I am, too.

I know that our new state’s education system ranks perilously near the bottom.  I knew that walking in. And when I pulled out the work samples I had brought with me, they asked, “Are there rubrics on all of these?  We don’t use those here.  Do they help him?”  I almost stumbled over my bottom lip, and I hope my incredulity didn’t show on my face as much as I felt it inside.  You see, I was taught from about day one in ED101 how to develop rubrics for every assignment, a way to clearly communicate your expectations for students.  And that was 20 years ago.  This county (and I’m assuming state) doesn’t even use them, probably hasn’t ever been trained in them, and it was a sucker-punch reminder that we are in one of those states, the ones with piss-poor funding and even crappier respect for its teachers, those teachers who haven’t gotten a raise in six years and are prit-near the bottom of the list when it comes to teacher pay, too…

But I also know that all the research says that the teacher has the most influence on how well a student does in school.  And in my son’s case, that will be his special ed teacher, making sure his accommodations are in place, remediating when necessary, building that long-term relationship and trust.  In this meeting, I witnessed how far behind this state is, but I also witnessed how willing his teacher is to be his everything while still pushing him as far as he can go.  I know that, between the two of us, he’s going to be OK, and that’s a relief.

You Are Not a Failure

Posted on by

0

A mom posted on Single mothers who have children with autism’s facebook page about feeling like a failure because her son was being pulled from mainstreamed classes, and placed into a special education classroom.  My heart breaks when I read things like that.

Adaptation of above image illustrating an Inte...

I think every Special Needs Parent has those moments, hours, days, weeks, or even years, when we feel like we are the biggest failures on the planet, and we feel that pain so much more deeply because we know how much our kids need us not to fail.  But.  We can not allow ourselves to feel that way for too long, for that very same reason – our kids need us to pick ourselves up and keep rolling that rock up the mountain.  It’s OK to fall, to stumble, to crawl into bed and lock the door once in awhile (assuming everyone else is relatively safe).  But we can’t stay there, and we definitely can’t get into the habit of pointing fingers at ourselves too often.

Maybe it would help to remember those naysayers we have all encountered.  The ignorant, mean-spirited people we have come across.  And then in our weakest moments, imagine what kind of a job they would do in our place.  You see, no one is perfect, and none of us were prepared for this job.  And there was certainly no manual.  But we are some of the quickest studies on the planet.  We can read our children’s faces down to the slightest waggle of an eyebrow, and be able to interpret emotion from it.  We can come up with backup plans on the fly, salvage nasty situations, and calm our children when no one else can.  In the eyes of our children, we are MOM (or DAD), the one and only.  Learning from mistakes is part of the game.  It’s not learning from them that is a failure.

Be nice to yourself, parents.  Try not to beat yourself up too bad.  It’s a waste of energy, and you’ve got too much other stuff to do!

IEPs, and Moving Trucks, and Appointments, Oh My!

Posted on by

0

Tomorrow, The Boy’s IEP team meets.  I am extremely lucky to have teachers that get him, and fight for what he truly needs, and a school system that allows us to make the best decisions for him that are not based on the almighty dollar.  I know many districts are not like that (ahem… some rather intimately…), and I know this isn’t the typical IEP experience.  I’m a little nervous about this being the last IEP meeting where I do not have to fight tooth and nail for my son.

kid to do list, list, Be happy and go home

kid to do list, Carissa GoodNCrazy

I also have to make arrangements and get things done — no rest for the wicked on this day.  Securing a rental truck for our big move, speaking to our wedding officiant, doing paperwork for The Boy’s summer day camp… The list goes on and on.

And finally, thanks to our super-accomodating pediatric office (*sarcasm*), I have to pull The Boy out of school at the end of the day, causing him to have to miss Kids Club for his physical appointment.  We’ve prepped him (both at home and at school – I LOVE his teacher!), and he should be OK, but you just never know.  I’ve built in a few treats after the appointment (a trip to Target, and dinner at his favorite restaurant) so that he has “good stuff” to look forward to and get him through.

And so… When I am busy like this, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but I’m actually doing OK.  I enjoy having a list of things to do, and especially relish the crossing-off of the things on the to-do list.  I feel like every “check!” is bringing us closer to family, summer, and the beginning of something beautiful.

Nerd Day

Posted on by

3

Spirit Days: those days at school where kids dress up according to a theme, supposedly to celebrate school spirit, often planned by the school’s student council or some such group.  Again, I don’t often write about school, but it’s bothering me, and when things bother me, I write.  Wednesday this week has been dedicated “Nerd Day”.  Students are encouraged to dress up as nerds, or as some of the kids are already calling it, “Loser Day”.

I’m sure we had something similar when I was in school, and that is where my deep-rooted dislike of this type of spirit day started.  You see, I was a nerd.  Still am. Think about the number one accessory you need to dress up like a stereotypical nerd.  What did you come up with?  I bet 90% of you thought, “glasses”.  Yep.  So I didn’t even need to dress up for nerd day – I was already in costume, whether I wanted to be or not.  Whether I wanted to be identified as a nerd, or not.

I thought the trend was to help kids get away from stereotyping their classmates and people in general.  So it’s OK to do it, if it’s for school spirit?  Can you imagine if they had a “jock” day, or a “Mean Girls” day, or a “Sped” day…  Instead of embracing and celebrating everyone’s differences, we encourage the school to dress up as a stereotype.

Now, as I said, I am still a nerd.  I prefer books to people (in general), dislike partying (in general), was always studious and smart, and enjoyed rather off-the-beaten track music, movies, and senses of humor.  I cried last night when watching the last episode of Dr. Who with David Tennant as Dr. Who, OK??  I’m a nerd, and I own it, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing!

But kids?  Kids are self-conscious, sensitive, undeveloped globs of anxiety.  I think we should put more thought into stuff like this.

*stepping down off my soap box*

What do you think?  Am I overreacting?

***Update: we just received word at the end of the day that tomorrow’s theme has been changed to super hero day.

Peace of Mind

Posted on by

0

peacefulOne of the things that I have been most nervous about the move, OK, more like THE ONE THING that has given me a good bit of anxiety is the program for The Boy in the state/county/school where we will be.  You just never know what you are walking into, even with a diagnosis and an IEP in hand.  You may remember that I had spoken with someone who worked in a county a good bit away from where we were who said they didn’t have a resource room to speak of, and didn’t have any aides in the rooms with the kids.  Considering that The Boy spends a good amount in his resource room, I got a bit panicky about what I was going to be subjecting him to.

I had put out some feelers through some contacts with the state Autism Society, and hadn’t really been able to connect with anyone, until this weekend.  I finally got in contact with some parents who run the local chapter, and was able to speak on the phone with one lady who was able to give me some insight, at least into her experience.  She had also moved into the area a year and a half ago, and has a son that is very close in age to The Boy.  She was able to allay my fears a bit, and let me know about how much their little chapter has been accomplishing.  Not only was I relieved, but I also began to get a little excited.  Here is a group that is actually making positive change in the community for kids on the spectrum, and providing opportunities, and even a summer day camp!  YES!  Exactly what I was hoping for.

Not to mention that this group is a way for us to meet people like us, which will be one of the most difficult parts of the transition for both The Boy and I, making new friends.  I often complain about talking to people on the phone, but this time, I am sooo glad I did.

What’d I Miss?…

Posted on by

2

Here’s a recap of the top posts for December, plus one oldie but goodie:

  • No Offense, But… about how this phrase really needs to be put to rest, because despite its “intent”, whatever comes next will ultimately offend you.
  • Happy Day about The Man’s surprise Christmas morning proposal *sigh* 😀
  • I Don’t Want My Kid To Be Normal about how special needs parents need to set their sites on different goals for their children
  • Parties about how normal, everyday birthday parties can cause much angst among we special needs parents
  • The Angry Ex about how to deal with an ex who is less than civil

Hope you are having a fantastic start to your workweek!  Only 10 more Mondays until Spring!

Winter at the Beach

Full Inclusion = Extreme School

Posted on by

3

English: A collection of pictograms. Three of ...

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why educators insist on sameness.

We spend most of a child’s formative years insisting to them that they are special, they are unique, they are individuals with a right to their own ways of being.  And then they go to school…

They go to school and learn to become like everyone else, learning the same things, at the same pace, regardless of where their interests, talents, and abilities lie.  Every student must take algebra, every student must take foreign language, every student will be proficient in x, y, and z.

I’m not sure when the trend toward standardization began in schools, although I have a feeling it’s been there since the beginning, because it’s easier and cheaper than individualizing instruction.  The inherent problem with this is that kids are people, and there are no two people who are exactly the same.  Therefore, everyone has special needs.  I need a map if you are giving me directions, otherwise I will get hopelessly lost.  The Man learns by doing – you can give him all the instructions you want, but he needs to play Euchre before he can actually learn all the rules.  The Boy needs breaks and incentives throughout his day to get his work done.  And he needs alone time with an electronic device to decompress.

So why the soapbox post today?

Recently, I have heard some teachers in full-inclusion situations say things like, “They do just fine, until they don’t,” or “He’s on those video games as soon as he gets into the car after school.  I wish his mom wouldn’t use them as a crutch, a babysitter.”  In the full-inclusion world, any kid that visits the resource room more than 45 minutes a week is “severe”.

Think about some part of your daily work that requires all of your concentration and effort.  Now think about doing that task for six hours a day.

My kid with autism works so hard at being like the other kids in the classroom, and he has made great strides.  There are still times where he escapes, lashes out, or just isn’t absorbing much, but he is working really hard.  His ASD classroom provides a space for him to just be without the trappings of societal expectations.  Does that mean the learning stops?  NO, in fact, more learning goes on in that room because he doesn’t have to try to be someone he isn’t.  In the ASD room (some may call it a resource room), they have the ability to slow down, speed up, back up, and stop if necessary, providing those little pit stops on the way to encourage the work being done.  My kid with autism has thrived with this IEP recipe.

And maybe that kid with autism who is on the video games in the car is seeking respite from working his butt off in your classroom all day long.  Maybe his mom lets him have that time to be himself because that’s what’s best for him.

Is full inclusion bad?  No.  Of course there are kids who will thrive in that set-up!  We want our kids to have full access to the curriculum and the right to full inclusion if that’s what’s best.  But I’m not sure why it has to be all or nothing for every kid — It’s pretty rare when “all or nothing” is a good idea in education.