Birthday parties.  This is one of the toughest things about being a parent to a special needs child.  I have said before that The Boy’s school does a great job fostering real relationships between the kids in the ASD program, and their NT peers.  But when it comes time to make a list of who to invite, I am usually at a loss, and so is The Boy.  I hear a few names from school, but not many.  I see how other kids interact with The Boy at school functions, but those are relatively few and far between.  And I am rather a keep-to-myself kind of person, too, so I don’t do the whole PTO/mom’s club thing.  And being invited to other kids parties (so you can remember to make sure to invite that kid?) – just doesn’t happen very often at all.

And so we sit down and look through a recent (or even not-so-recent) yearbook, and try to pick out kids to invite.  And of course he agrees to whomever I suggest, which isn’t exactly what I want, but I want to be sure to invite kids I know treat him well and are likely to come.  As I type in the email addresses of the parents of the kids I invite, they pop up because we have used them in the past.  And I hope these parents don’t mind me leaning on them like this.  And then I kick myself, because I shouldn’t feel like coming to my own son’s party would be a burden on anyone…

And it really isn’t.  We’re going bowling tomorrow.  And eating pizza and cake (Sonic of course!), and opening presents to celebrate The Boy’s eleventh birthday on Monday.  It’s actually quite a bit of fun!  But the kids we invite have to be open to being a part of something a little unique, to being able to roll with it if something a little out of the norm occurs, and to having patience and grace and kindness.  That’s a lot to ask of 10 and 11 year-olds (let alone adults!), but these kids haven’t failed us yet.