What’s in Store for Next Year

Posted on May 21, 2015 by simpleijustdo

Well, I guess I didn’t need all that battle gear for our IEP. Apparently I had made my wishes clear in the email I had sent to The Boy’s teacher specifying that I did want him to have access to his general ed peers, you know, as in, least restrictive environment?? But there are changes coming for next year.

The program teacher will now only be at The Boy’s school part time because they will be spreading her autism knowledge throughout the county, now. In other words, they are no longer funding the pilot program, and don’t want The Boy’s middle school to become a magnet school for kids on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, so they are spreading her too thin to try to knock some sense into the teachers at other schools who act as if they’ve never seen a kid with autism before. My God be with her, because that will be a Sisyphean task.

In the meantime, The Boy’s day will not look too much different except that his social skills class will be a pull-out from his electives, and combined with the pull-out for speech, he could potentially be pulled out of his elective classes four days out of five for a half hour. That’s a recipe for some negative behavior, if you ask me, but they didn’t, so The Boy (and they) will have to deal with it.

I mentioned that we will be building a house in-district, to which they responded very happily, and made it clear that if we were not residing in said house by the time 9th grade rolled around, The Boy would be placed in his current home high school. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Even if we are not in said house by then. But I will fight that battle if and when I need to.

I’m crossing my fingers for these plans not to change too much between now and August. I’m pleased I didn’t have to fight, and encouraged by the team in place. Now to get the house built…

All It Takes is One Dumb Bus Driver

Posted on April 1, 2015 by simpleijustdo

This past Friday, The Boy was left behind by his bus.

Our outside light was on, and our front window blinds (all three of them) were open. The driver rolled up to our house early, honked once, waited less than 10 seconds, and then turned around in the cul de sac and left.

Recently, when our regular bus driver began to arrive earlier and earlier, we worked out an arrangement with her. She now waits for him, and does not expect him to exit the house until around 6:30am, which has been his expectation and his routine for the entire school year.

When the bus left on Friday, I ran out to the porch, waving my arms, to no avail. The Boy began to get upset, wondering how he was going to get to school. We were in a panic. I called the transportation office who informed me there was a substitute bus driver, and assured me that they would instruct her to come back to pick The Boy up. In the meantime, he had returned to bed, unwilling to go to school if he was going to be late.

At this point, The Man offered to take The Boy to school himself (along with a bribe of a donut) so that he could arrive on time. I gave The Boy the choice of waiting for his bus to return, or going with The Man, and he chose to go with The Man.

When the bus arrived, I went out to speak with the driver. She interrupted me before I could get my first sentence out, was extremely defensive and rude, making faces at me, and interrupting me many, many times. She even challenged the truth of what I was saying, and pulled another child up from his seat to “bear witness” that The Boy was not visible when she was there. I told her the arrangement we had with our regular bus driver, but she seemed much more concerned about whether or not I was accusing her of being late, which I obviously wasn’t. I was shaking by the time I was finished and stalked back into the house.

Incidents like these can not only have immediate and damaging effects (like a meltdown, or refusal to go to school), but they can also have lasting effects on children like The Boy. It will be a long, long time before he can trust that his bus will not leave him behind. Drivers need to have patience with all students, but especially with those with special needs. Would this driver have waited ten seconds after honking and driven off if The Boy was in a wheelchair? Probably not, but she appeared to not have any regard for The Boy’s specific needs.

Everyone employed by the school district that comes into contact with our kiddos should have training about what autism is, the core deficits children with autism have, and how each employee can help students with special needs find success throughout their school day. Anything less is not acceptable.

This is a large excerpt from the letter I am sending to the Director of Transportation, courtesy copied to the Director of Special Education and the Superintendent. I ain’t playin’ and it’s not over if you’re going to be rude to me.

Out of Sync

Posted on February 5, 2014 by simpleijustdo

I find myself really empathizing with The Boy this week. My post yesterday highlighted how important it is to have something that helps you calm down when you get ramped up, and I’ve been ramped up since Monday morning. Along with that, my routine has been blown to smithereens in the past week.

You see, today should be the weekend.

I have worked everyday since last Friday, and by my calculations, in a normal workweek of five days on, two days off, today would be an off day. But it’s not, and I am all discombobulated, and out of sync. I have three more days of work until the weekend, and if I am able to keep from snapping at someone at work, it will be a miracle. It’s a busy time for my closest colleague, as her half of the business has a big roll-out at the end of next week, and right now we are all chipping in to help it happen, even though we have plenty on our side to do, as well. And then you throw in the drama of one of your underlings blaming you for a mistake she made and referring to you as a “dumbass” to the boss…

Anywho… I’ve been “on” and working hard for a full work week, and feeling like I need a break. Again, like our kiddos, trying to adjust to a change in my schedule, managing my emotions while desperately needing some down time. A good reminder how tough it can be for our children on the spectrum.

The Ex: Cancelled Plans

Posted on October 3, 2012 by simpleijustdo

The ex is infamous for cancelling plans. And due to the fact that he only sees his son for four weeks out of the year at most (this year it has been one week), when he cancels plans, it is … Continue reading →

Back to School Night

Posted on September 19, 2012 by simpleijustdo

I’ll be honest, I skipped the big gym-speech, where parents are packed in like sardines, it’s hot, they talk about the same things every year, introduce the staff, and you can’t hear anything anyway because of all the people who … Continue reading →

Forethought

Posted on July 15, 2012 by simpleijustdo

Merriam-Webster defines forethought as: “1 : a thinking or planning out in advance 2 : consideration for the future”.

One of my favorite things to do is plan. Ask my boyfriend, Mr. We-don’t-need-a-reservation. I plan events at work, thinking through every detail about traffic flow, announcements, seating arrangements, and clean-up. And I love to plan vacations, although I now have to reign it in a bit, coming up with “possibilities” for us to do (and calendaring them all, just so we know where and when we could do them. If we wanted…).

It doesn’t ALWAYS work out so well, though. I’ve tried that plan for housecleaning, (you know the one) that entails doing a different chore everyday for a month. I like it in principal, but in my house, with one person doing all the cleaning… Let’s just say it got as far as the calendar, and then it was toast.

And what happens when the plan doesn’t work, or you just can’t get to it ahead of time? Consider being on the other end. How many times have I been in a staff meeting, or watched some new program being implemented, and thought, “Well, that could have gone better with a little forethought!” I’ve also been able to look back after a major meltdown and realize that it was ALL MY FAULT, because I didn’t think about what would happen if I forgot the wipes, if the ex bailed on his kid again, or if I got stuck at work .

I’m pointing my finger at myself as I write this: MAYBE, if I don’t have time to put forethought into it, MAYBE I shouldn’t do it. Maybe I need to create some time in my schedule to think about stuff before it happens, so I can envision all outcomes, and be better prepared. And if I can’t find time to do that, maybe I’m too busy, and some things on my agenda need to be delegated, shelved, or deleted.

I know I need to do this more. I know that my son and I can preempt some meltdowns this way.

How about you?