This past Friday, The Boy was left behind by his bus.

Our outside light was on, and our front window blinds (all three of them) were open. The driver rolled up to our house early, honked once, waited less than 10 seconds, and then turned around in the cul de sac and left.

Recently, when our regular bus driver began to arrive earlier and earlier, we worked out an arrangement with her. She now waits for him, and does not expect him to exit the house until around 6:30am, which has been his expectation and his routine for the entire school year.

When the bus left on Friday, I ran out to the porch, waving my arms, to no avail. The Boy began to get upset, wondering how he was going to get to school. We were in a panic. I called the transportation office who informed me there was a substitute bus driver, and assured me that they would instruct her to come back to pick The Boy up. In the meantime, he had returned to bed, unwilling to go to school if he was going to be late.

At this point, The Man offered to take The Boy to school himself (along with a bribe of a donut) so that he could arrive on time. I gave The Boy the choice of waiting for his bus to return, or going with The Man, and he chose to go with The Man.

When the bus arrived, I went out to speak with the driver. She interrupted me before I could get my first sentence out, was extremely defensive and rude, making faces at me, and interrupting me many, many times. She even challenged the truth of what I was saying, and pulled another child up from his seat to “bear witness” that The Boy was not visible when she was there. I told her the arrangement we had with our regular bus driver, but she seemed much more concerned about whether or not I was accusing her of being late, which I obviously wasn’t.  I was shaking by the time I was finished and stalked back into the house.

Incidents like these can not only have immediate and damaging effects (like a meltdown, or refusal to go to school), but they can also have lasting effects on children like The Boy. It will be a long, long time before he can trust that his bus will not leave him behind. Drivers need to have patience with all students, but especially with those with special needs. Would this driver have waited ten seconds after honking and driven off if The Boy was in a wheelchair? Probably not, but she appeared to not have any regard for The Boy’s specific needs.

Everyone employed by the school district that comes into contact with our kiddos should have training about what autism is, the core deficits children with autism have, and how each employee can help students with special needs find success throughout their school day. Anything less is not acceptable.

This is a large excerpt from the letter I am sending to the Director of Transportation, courtesy copied to the Director of Special Education and the Superintendent.  I ain’t playin’ and it’s not over if you’re going to be rude to me.