Traveling with the Boy, Part II

Posted on May 17, 2016 by simpleijustdo

We had a great deal of fun. The band director put me in charge of two groups of girls (most of whom are The Boy’s friends), and The Boy. He roomed with me.

Both days were non-stop the entire time. I think everyone would have appreciated one less sightseeing stop in favor of a bit more time to eat and breathe. But we did get to see and experience a lot, and ended up walking the equivalent of 16 miles in 48 hours.

The Boy was amazing. We got to our final destination of the day on Friday, which was a parade at the Marine Barracks – a fantastic experience! – and all of a sudden I realized I hadn’t given The Boy his evening meds, and we were going to be in the stands until after 10pm. He was also sitting away from me. I could clearly see him, but what if something happened? What if he got upset for some reason? Would it become a national security incident? Should I alert one of the very nice marines that he has autism? I did nothing, but watched him like a hawk, body taught to spring into action if necessary. He watched and enjoyed the whole thing, “conducting” every piece and loving every minute of it. There was absolutely no issue until later that night, when we finally got into our hotel rooms after 12 midnight. He was trying to log on to the hotel wifi without a password, and I didn’t think I knew what it was. The phone was out of order, so I couldn’t call down to the desk, and I reasoned that it was late anyway. I should have known better, but I was exhausted, too. A doozy of a meltdown ensued, and we rode it out. Luckily, it was relatively short-lived, if aggressive. Then I found the password on the envelope our room key was in, let him get on for a couple minutes, and all was well.

He had been “on” for 18 hours, I didn’t give him his meds until late, he was exhausted, and it was the perfect recipe for a meltdown. Unfortunately, I’m not always at 100%, and when I fall down, I can’t expect him to remain standing.

When it was all over, and he was calm, in bed, with the lights out, I talked to him about how proud I was of him, how he had had an amazing day, and that he would have a great day the next day, too. We just had to figure out a better way for him to cope when he gets upset, but that we would work on it together.

The next day, he woke up a happy camper, and we did have a great day. This kid amazes me every damn day.

The Ex, Fall Plans, and a Boy Growing Up

Posted on September 30, 2015 by simpleijustdo

When the ex cancelled his summer visitation, he said he planned to come and visit The Boy this fall some time, and then asked about Christmas. At the time, I reminded him that he had had The Boy last Christmas, which would mean he would have him for Thanksgiving this year, instead, and then possibly the week after Christmas if we could work it out. He agreed, and said he would let me know about fall plans.

Tomorrow, October begins, and I doubt the visit here will happen. In fact, he texted the other day to explain why we hadn’t received child support in a month, and to reiterate that he was “working on” Thanksgiving. No mention of the previous plan to visit here sometime this fall.

The Boy has been through this enough to know that what his dad says will happen rarely does, but he still hopes. When I remind him that we’ll have to wait and see what happens, “I know, I know, I know,” he says, and goes right on hoping. Usually.

Fast forward to this past weekend. It was a rough one, because the girl upon whom The Boy has a crush was absent Friday. As you well know, when someone is absent from school, it is a sign that the end is nigh, and we all run around screaming at the sky because she has moved away, we will never see her again, and why bother doing anything because there’s no point.

The Man and I were doing our best to cheer him up, offering fun things to do, and being generally silly, when suddenly, The Boy piped up from the backseat of the car (always conversing in the car), “I have an idea!” Usually this means he is starting to come around, starting to make everything ok in his own mind, but this time it was actually a real idea. “We can go to Myrtle Beach and ride the go-karts, and I don’t mind missing school to do that.”

Wait, what?

Did he just say he was ok with missing school? This kid? The one I have had to beg and plead with doctors and dentists for the past eight years just to find appointments close to the end of the school day so I wouldn’t be reminded fortnightly of that one day in February of 2006 when he had to miss school??

But he wasn’t finished.

“And if my dad can’t have me for Thanksgiving weekend, we could even go then!”

…

He actually vocalized himself that his dad’s plans would most likely fall through. And made a back up plan of his own to deal with it.

I think my little boy is growing up.

*tear*

Out of Sync

Posted on February 5, 2014 by simpleijustdo

I find myself really empathizing with The Boy this week. My post yesterday highlighted how important it is to have something that helps you calm down when you get ramped up, and I’ve been ramped up since Monday morning. Along with that, my routine has been blown to smithereens in the past week.

You see, today should be the weekend.

I have worked everyday since last Friday, and by my calculations, in a normal workweek of five days on, two days off, today would be an off day. But it’s not, and I am all discombobulated, and out of sync. I have three more days of work until the weekend, and if I am able to keep from snapping at someone at work, it will be a miracle. It’s a busy time for my closest colleague, as her half of the business has a big roll-out at the end of next week, and right now we are all chipping in to help it happen, even though we have plenty on our side to do, as well. And then you throw in the drama of one of your underlings blaming you for a mistake she made and referring to you as a “dumbass” to the boss…

Anywho… I’ve been “on” and working hard for a full work week, and feeling like I need a break. Again, like our kiddos, trying to adjust to a change in my schedule, managing my emotions while desperately needing some down time. A good reminder how tough it can be for our children on the spectrum.

Not for Wussies

Posted on July 17, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Making a major life change is difficult. Making several at the same time is not for wussies.

I updated you last week on how we’re doing – quite well, actually. But not everything is sunshine and lollipops. I’m still looking for work (not quite in panic mode yet), and I’m finding it insanely difficult to get a driver’s license in my new state. Combine that with the normal emotions involved with major life changes, and I think getting a little blue is par for the course.

Of course, I am a worrier by nature, so I have this natural tendency to focus on the negative, and can sometimes become paralyzed by it.

I have found that the best way to combat this is to do something. Whether it’s working on organizing a space in our new home, rewriting my resume, or just doing laundry, accomplishing something tends to keep the stress/tears/freak-out away. It also helps to cut myself a little slack, and remember my Grandma’s great advice: “All you can do is your best.”

For now, I’m managing the worry and stress, and counting my many blessings and the many, many positives that have come with these major life changes.

Just keep swimming!