I’m not going to get into the habit of writing about work, but I wanted to let you know that my new situation is really, really good. And there’s a reason I’m sharing this with you today.
My old job, the one that “brought me to my knees” was a decent paying job, especially for our area. And it took me five months to get it. So for a year and half, I was miserable, thinking I couldn’t leave because I really had it pretty good, except for the screaming and yelling, the unreasonable demands, the constant checking up on the weekends… What does that sound like to you? An abusive relationship? Because it was. I saw it in all of the other people I worked with, too. “It’s not bad all the time,” or “It’s much better when he’s not in the office/ in the winter/ when he’s in a good mood,” or “There’s just nothing else out there.” Scary stuff, right there.
In my big picture way of looking at things, I see a parallel. This is another time in my life where I took a risk and said enough was enough. Life is too short to be so miserable everyday. And it wasn’t pretty. It was hard to be a single mom. And it was hard working retail for minimum wage. I did a lot of soul-searching, and it was painful. There were times in both cases where I thought, “Is this it? Is this all there is?” But there were benefits to both, too. At least I was free from a toxic relationship. At least I could do things the way I wanted to. At least I had an opportunity to learn a great deal. (And I ended up loving being a single mom, except for being lonely).
And then, something wonderful happens that changes your life around. And you realize your instincts were right. There are really, really good men out there who know how to treat others. And there are really, really good jobs out there where you actually get a lunch break with a side of respect. My advice is this: trust your instincts, and take that risk. It may not be sunshine and lollipops immediately, but life is too short to miserable. You deserve more.
I’ve written recently about how many changes The Boy is handling at school (and at home) and how well he is doing with all of it. His school schedule has been sorted, relatively, and his TA is growing into her role as the point of contact at the school.
I, too, have been handling some big change. I left my job and got a new one, and even though it presents new challenges due to being a little less than full time, I think it quite possibly saved my sanity. I look forward to going to work again, and learning new tasks with a new crew of people who are not constantly gossiping, backstabbing, and sabotaging. Even though I work with people much younger than me now, the maturity level is infinitely higher than the workplace I left.
We also closed on the sale of our house and moved into our temporary home while we build on our lot. The house was left fairly dirty, and the walls were a goldenrod color (seriously??), so we had to clean and paint before unpacking completely, and I was about ready to tear my hair out, but it’s been about a week, and we are finally settling in. I love being on this side of town, and we are so close to The Boy’s school, that The Man is now taking him in the morning, alleviating some of our morning anxieties. The Boy loves it because he gets to sleep in later (ha!).
And everything kind of happened at once. Autism families recognize this as having great potential for disaster, but (knock on wood) we are all adjusting quite well, and much that is positive has come from this round of changes. I guess change is inevitable, but sometimes we get scared. Life is too short to be miserable and afraid, though, and taking risks can result in positive things. It’s good to be reminded of that.
Last night, The Boy had his first band concert of the year, and played music he has had for about two weeks on his new instrument, the tuba. There was standing-room-only in the auditorium, and The Man and I watched from the back with The Boy’s grandparents. We heard him play, as he is the only tubist in the 6th grade band, and we heard him play well. And I was proud, listening to my boy do his best, and do it well.
It was a great concert, and after it was over, he was geeked, excited. Once in the car, he went right for his DS (a re-discovered love, as it has been in the bottom of some drawer for a couple of years), but was giggly and goofy. We had to pick up The Man’s truck, and he loves to ride in it with him, so I drove on alone for the few short miles to our house.
As the car started to climb the rise of the bridge over the Intracoastal Waterway, I began to tear up with emotion as I realized how thankful I am for all that has happened in the past year. Maybe it’s a little early for the annual retrospective, but it really has been a great couple of weeks. Things were getting a little dark there for awhile, but now The Boy is in a much better place, school-wise (and a GREAT band program, to boot!), I have a new job that I love, and the very best husband ever. And we’ve moved to a place where it reaches 70 degrees on the 5th of December, which also happens to be around the corner from the very best parents in the world.
Starting work today was something completely new. You see, since I graduated college in the mid-nineties, I had only a handful of interviews, and they were for teaching jobs. Even though I may have had a new job here and there, I kind of knew that school was school, and nothing would be that different from my previous job. I needed to know who the secretaries and the custodians were ASAP, and always, always treat them nicely. I needed to know where the copy machine was, and where I could eat lunch. The rest was pretty much the same. I went to my room and taught.
Today, I walked into my new job, not knowing how many hours a week I was wanted, nor how much exactly I was to be paid. I didn’t even know exactly what my job entailed but that my title would be “Event Coordinator” for a long-standing, local boat tour company.
By the end of the day, I had impressed my new boss a bit, been told I could work full time if I desired, and would make enough for me to not have to worry about my bills anymore.
Best of all, I enjoyed my day. I edited and formatted, created spreadsheets, and researched, all the while learning my new boss’s idiosyncrasies, and getting along well with the other office “girl” whose job is separate from but most similar to mine.
I’m back to work, but work like I’ve never known it. I’m thankful. I’m excited.