We’re Trying an Old Idea for a Slightly New Reason

Posted on January 25, 2013 by simpleijustdo

This is not a new idea. Parents of NT (neuro-typical) kids have used these for eons to get their kids to be organized and to help them get ready more efficiently in the morning. But I’m using it for slightly different reasons…

“What is it, already??” you are asking… It is the 6 Shelf Sweater Sorter:

kinda hard to see, I know – bad lighting in The Boy’s room

Ta-Da!

Yes, yes. Organization, check. Efficient Use of Time, check. Not wearing the same clothes everyday, wha..??

My child has a signature outfit – he wears it every opportunity he can (which is sometimes several days in a row). He has a thing with clothes. The summer between splitting up and the official divorce, The Boy wore the same lime green T-shirt every single day. Lots of tiny little loads of wash for me.

How does he get away with wearing the same thing several days in a row? He wears a different hoodie, zips it all the way up, and waits to appear until we have to walk out the door. And there are times when I do not fight it, even when I should. To help me enforce the social code of not-wearing-the-same-outfit-every-single-day, I enlisted the help of the 6 Shelf Sweater Sorter. Each shelf is a place for an outfit for each day of the week, except for Sunday, because we often spend one entire day of the weekend in our jammies anyway. Tonight, we placed an entire week’s worth of outfits (including socks, underwear, and hoodies) into the sorter, and I’m hoping that The Boy will follow the implied and implicit rules of the Sorter, that he will wear what is in the space for that designated day, and he will not change his mind and scrounge things off the floor to wear.

If this fails, I will have to go to Old Navy and buy 6 more of every piece in his signature outfit.

I really hope this works…

Mom!! Where is my _____??

Posted on January 21, 2013 by simpleijustdo

The Boy is a slob. You would think for a kid that couldn’t resist lining up Pringles and m&ms as a toddler, his room would have some semblance of order, but not so much. This misplacing of things has been the reason for many, many a morning meltdown. I have found that even when I try to predict every possible little thing he may need for school, something else will come up in the last two minutes before we need to be out the door (in order to get to school first, lest that spark a meltdown). Whew.

Bins and organizers are not the answer. I have a sneaking suspicion that The Container Store and IKEA do a great deal of their yearly business in January, when people decide that the only reason they are disorganized is because they don’t have enough BINS!

So, little miss Has-All-The-Answers, what is the answer??

Training. Here’s how I know. The Boy went to daycare as a wee one at a lady’s house, and loved her. She taught him to put his shoes just inside the door, and pop his socks right inside, so they would be there when he wanted to put them back on to go outside. He was there from the age of about 6 months to 3 years, and you know what? To this day, he still does this with his shoes. Ergo, finding a particular space for all of his things, and then using those spaces with lots and lots of repetition is the plan.

Of course, the purging of unnecessary and duplicate items comes first. But then, it’s time for mise-en-place and repetition. The other part of the game plan? Buying multiples of the things he wears and uses most. This means less laundry and hunting for me.

Any other tips for getting your child to be somewhat organized? Share them in the comments.

The Curse (or is it Gift?) of the Middle School Teacher

Posted on January 20, 2013 by simpleijustdo

After teaching middle schoolers for almost half my life, I can see what kids will look like as teenagers. If I really look at a child that still has some baby fat, baby teeth, braces, and that awkward, gawky way of trying to hold their body just so, I can picture him or her after 4 years or so, taller, more self-assured, straighter teeth.

I looked at The Boy today and realized he is no longer a boy. He is quickly on his way to becoming a teen. He had just woken up, and was still a little out of it, staring into space, allowing me a moment to really study him. And I blinked, looked at the pictures all around us in our living room, at that little boy in kindergarten, then after he’d lost a few teeth, looking like that beautiful, typical American boy… “Where did my baby go?” I said. “He’s in the pictures, Mom,” The Boy replied as I hugged him tight. I watched him amble off, down the hall, and I pictured him, taller, broader shoulders, and a little more self-assured (I mean, after all, he can even make his own bagels, now!), and I had two simultaneous emotions: sadness that I’m losing my little boy, and hope for the man he will become.

And here come the tears…

The Necessity of Friends

Posted on January 18, 2013 by simpleijustdo

There are those who have lots and lots of friends, and there are those who don’t. I fall into the latter category, mostly, I think, because I don’t mind being alone. Let’s face it, it’s easier to be alone, do things alone, or just stay in the house on a cold night rather than go out. It’s even more difficult to get out of the house as a single mom, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.I have always been on the socially awkward side, shy, never sure of the right thing to say or do in social situations, and continue to have embarrassing moments at parties and get-togethers, about which I am still mortified, although I hide it well.

Don’t get me wrong – I love having a Girl’s Night Out (just planned one for later February with a couple of old friends!), but I also love my computer, and my kindle, and my fireplace…

But just this week, I have connected with a few friends I hadn’t seen in weeks, even months, and it felt good. It felt good to talk about myself for a bit, and to have adult conversation. And I realize I need that interaction with all of my friends from varying parts and times of my life. It reminds me of my whole person, and reminds me of the rather huge, yet invisible, net I have to fall back on when things are rough. I don’t avail myself of it enough. I forget. I need to remind myself more to reach out to all of those connections. For my own mental health and stability.

How about you? Do you remember to make time to connect with your sometimes far-flung friends?

Now What?

Posted on January 12, 2013 by simpleijustdo

When you tell people you are engaged, they immediately ask you something along the lines of, “Now what?”: Have you set a date? Where will you live? What are your plans????

While I’m not going to say that we haven’t thought about these things (because I am a planner, after all, and that is just who I am), I must say that I’m having a great time just reveling in the feeling of being engaged, of having someone who loves me utterly, who has done one of the most vulnerable and romantic things a man can do, which is propose that we commit our lives to each other.

And perspective is an amazing thing. I’ve done this before, and it’s almost amusing to look at a bridal magazine and all the infinite, intricate pieces of a wedding that are out there as ideas, and products, and kits, and… whew! It’s a relief to have this experience behind me that makes me shake my head, laugh a little, and say to myself, “So unnecessary”…

So while I’m thinking about the “getting married” part (which pieces are important, and which pieces just really aren’t) because weddings are fun, I’m also thinking about the “Now What?” after the wedding. Being a wife, blending a family, the big changes in my life (our lives!), and the one man who loves me enough to take it all on with me.

Have a beautiful day!

Small Victories at the Dinner Table

Posted on January 10, 2013 by simpleijustdo

One of my ongoing concerns with The Boy is his diet. He would eat pizza 24/7 if he could, and never seems to tire of it. He doesn’t eat anything green, drinks very little milk, and on top of it all, eats like a bird. The homemade lunchables work fairly well (when I have the gumption to put one together, and not just send in a hotpocket with some applesauce – argh!), although we have been stuck with bagel pizzas. But we have thrown a few newer things in with the pizzas like whole wheat bagels, ham pieces, and carrots. I’ve also managed to get him to eat some summer sausage, cheese, and whole wheat crackers in his lunch, as well. Baby steps.

Dinner is a different story. I often try to get him to at least taste what I am eating, and I can usually get him to do that. He will eat pork chops if I make them, and certain (okay maybe 1 or 2) chicken recipes, but NO vegetables, and only sometimes potatoes. Last night, I intended to make a chicken crock pot meal, based on a new pinterest recipe I had found until I realized on the way home from the grocery store that my chicken was still in the freezer, and we wouldn’t eat until midnight if I tried it. I made the mental switch to a different pinterest recipe which looked super simple, using hummus. The trick was, I had already told The Boy about the first recipe, asked if he would eat it because it had cream cheese (anything with cheese is OK in his book), and he had said YES. I didn’t tell him about the change of plans. I simply served up the chicken, with a side of zucchini and summer squash, and… He ate all the chicken!! (It was really good!) Then I told him he could have some cheezits if he ate one of the “green things”. He ate it, realized it didn’t taste like much of anything, and when I asked if he knew what it was, said that he didn’t. When I told him, he said, “I just ate a zucchini?!”

Yes, little man, you did. And hummus, too.

Score one for me!

This is all that was left of the hummus-crusted chicken with zucchini and squash

What’d I Miss?…

Posted on January 7, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Here’s a recap of the top posts for December, plus one oldie but goodie:

No Offense, But… about how this phrase really needs to be put to rest, because despite its “intent”, whatever comes next will ultimately offend you.
Happy Day about The Man’s surprise Christmas morning proposal *sigh* 😀
I Don’t Want My Kid To Be Normal about how special needs parents need to set their sites on different goals for their children
Parties about how normal, everyday birthday parties can cause much angst among we special needs parents
The Angry Ex about how to deal with an ex who is less than civil

Hope you are having a fantastic start to your workweek! Only 10 more Mondays until Spring!

Missing

Posted on December 30, 2012 by simpleijustdo

The Boy is at his dad’s and has been for about a week. He sounds happy and relatively tired when I talk to him on the phone each night. While I miss him a bit, I am still savoring the respite: besides a few days this summer (Thank you, Fantastic Babysitter!) and a few days in June (Thank you, Grammy & Poppy!), this is the first extended break I’ve had since February. In fact, by the end of this next week, it will be the longest time I can remember being separated from The Boy, ever. For the same reason that I don’t feel guilty for being a working mom, and for the same reason I don’t feel guilty when I have the rare opportunity to go out with friends or The Man, I don’t feel guilty about enjoying this time right now.

This makes me a better mom.

Without this time away, the threshhold for frustration gets dangerously low, and a whole range of negative emotions starts brewing.

The Man and I do feel like something (someone, more like) is missing at times, and we get bored a little more easily. Ask me in three days, and I will definitely be missing The Boy fiercely. But for right now, it feels good to not really have to worry about meds, schedules, and sharp crayons. And The Boy is actually spending time with his dad. It’s a win-win.

The Previously Preempted Christmas Post

Posted on December 28, 2012 by simpleijustdo

The Man’s proposal certainly surprised me, and preempted my Christmas post. Not that I mind… So here’s the post that was originally supposed to air.

The Man isn’t big on Christmas, which has caused some friction in the almost-three years we’ve been dating. I love Christmas! Not in a must-decorate-the-house-witihin-an-inch-of-its-life kind of way, but an I-really-dig-finding-just-the-right-thing-for-everyone-on-my-list kind of way. You probably already know this about me, but I digress.

The Man, however, has a lot of anxiety about gift-giving, as well as other issues with Christmas in general, and can sometimes get downright depressed about it. I have treated him gently, been very cognizant about his needs, and I’m pretty sure I have rubbed off on him a bit, meaning he’s not as big of a Scrooge as he used to be.

Last year, it came up in conversation that his beloved grandmother, who helped raise him, had one of those all-silver trees that she would decorate with either red or blue bulbs, depending on the year, complete with the rotating light shining on it. He expressed fond memories of this tree. “Wait, fond memories of something having to do with Christmas?” I thought to myself, “We gotta get on that!”

A few months later, we were in Marietta, Ohio for Thanksgiving, and walked into a chocolate shop where a silver tree just like his grandmother’s was in the window. He started a lengthy conversation with the shop owner, fondly reminiscing about his grandmother’s tree, yet again.

After that, I looked them up online to see how much they were, but unfortunately found them to be rather expensive, being truly antiques and all.

And then…

And then, I posted about it on facebook, and a few hours later, Fantastic Babysitter responded to my post that her parents were interested in getting rid of just such a tree that they had in their attic! Not wanting to get my hopes up too high, I asked her about it, and asked how much they wanted for it. She said they wouldn’t want any money for it.

Ask and ye shall receive!

She brought the tree over, and I got out some rags and brasso, and spent an afternoon in my living room, listening to the Peanuts and Muppets Christmas albums, and shining up every single branch on that tree.

When I gave it to the Man last Christmas, he was speechless, almost moved to tears, and said it was quite possibly the best Christmas gift he had ever gotten.

And this year, it is up in our new house, bulbs, light and all. He is very proud of it, and you know what? No Scrooge to be found this year!