I Got (Some) Skills

Posted on December 19, 2012 by simpleijustdo

Every once in a while, I will flip through the Groupon offerings and find one that seems like a great deal, and I will jump on it. I have rarely been disappointed. One of the ones I have been enjoying recently is an online photography class.

After I got divorced, one of the things I treated myself to was a decent camera. It’s not quite a DSLR, but it takes a really nice photo. And since I have had that camera, I have taken a few really great shots. I know I’ll never be a professional, but I have picked up a little hobby, and I enjoy taking pictures a lot.

When this groupon came around, it was advertised as a way to get to know the ins and outs of your camera a little more, to shoot more than just on the automatic settings. And it sounded like a small time commitment to learn some more skills. Lifelong learner that I am, I knew it would be fun.

And it is. It’s only a four week class. The past two Mondays, I have come home and taken the weekly “class” which consists of videos and worksheets and a little quiz. Then at some point during the week, I take what I have learned and take some shots, one of which I will choose to upload for my “homework assignment” for the week. The instructor gets back to us with feedback by the following Wednesday through the comment sections on the photo, and we can see others’ photos, as well, learning about which settings they are using to take their fantastic shots.

It’s a little scary to go off automatic, and see what comes out, but it’s so much more rewarding, because the composition of the shot is all you, all of your skills on display. There’s a metaphor for life if I’ve ever heard one…

Here are my two homework assignments, so far:

shutter speed

white balance

How to Be Thoughtful About a Small Family Christmas

Posted on December 18, 2012 by simpleijustdo

As I’ve mentioned, this Christmas, I will be without The Boy. Since the divorce, I have noted how few gifts are on my list for others. Being an only child and having an only child leaves only gifts for my parents, The Man, and The Boy. I’ll admit this is kind of nice, although giving the perfect gift is something on which I pride myself a bit. I do get gift cards when someone tells me that’s all they want, but it’s difficult to stretch the traditions of Christmas morning out when you are giving gift cards to 3 other people…

How do I get my gift-giving fix? Where do I get to be creative? (Mom, Dad, anyone else on my list — stop reading!)

I’m working on some crafty wrapping this year, thanks to all kinds of inspiration from Pinterest. I just got a new sewing machine, so I will be working on these stitched wrapping projects from Shimtokk:

The tutorial is here at Martha Stewart (the idea was so good they were featured as a part of last year’s Gift Wrap Challenge!)

Stocking stuffers are another area where I get to be thoughtful and creative. No dollar store trips for me! Here are some of the projects I will be attempting:

Dad’s will have his favorite treat, Jordan almonds, and The Man’s will contain his favorite, Necco wafers:

The directions are here at Martha Stewart’s site, again. Haters can hate, but sometimes she’s got good, achievable ideas!

And maybe these:

Filled with coffee or hot chocolate mix? The tutorial is from Design Mom.

Finally, we have a tradition to spend some time on the gift tags – not making them elaborate or anything, but as clues to the gift. Rather than just saying “To: Mom, From: Annie” it will elude to the nature of the gift, and from whom the gift is. For example: if I was giving my mom a book (a fairly common gift), the tag might read, “To: William Least Heat Moon, From: Alex Haley”. (Moon wrote one of Mom’s favorite books, “Blue Highways”, and Haley wrote one of my favorite books, “Roots”. We know each other’s favorites, so this would be a big clue to her that it is book-related, and that it is from me!)

What can I say? I like to emphasize the relationship I have with each person rather than the stuff. I want to remind them about all of their little quirks which make them so lovable. To me, that’s what this season is about.

Teacher, Parapro, SLP, OT, Daycare, and Ex’s GF gifts

Posted on December 14, 2012 by simpleijustdo

It’s that time of year to give gifts to the many, many people who help your child through his or her day, as well as to the other side of the family (you know, the one you don’t want to spend too much money on, because really it’s the ex’s job to buy for them, but it’ll never happen, and you don’t want your kid to feel bad for not bringing presents?…).

But buying gifts for all of those people would be outrageous. So what is a budget-minded, single mom of a special needs kid to do? Get crafty…

As mentioned in a previous post, you can make your own sugar body scrub from fairly common ingredients like sugar, honey, tea, and vanilla.
You can get yourself a metal stamping set (like this one from Harbor Freight), some washers (but probably better to get actual jewelry making metal from the craft store: zinc-coated washers are too hard), and some carabiners from your local big box store (they run about a dollar apiece) to make personalized key chains.
Last year, when I asked everyone I knew for ideas, Dr. Leah from Singlemommyhood suggested paperwhite bulbs in a pretty bowl as a great gift for teachers.
You could always do a donation to a great cause like Heifer International for teachers, as well.
For daycare helpers, we have made fudge, cookies, chocolate-dipped large pretzel sticks (with sprinkles), and all sorts of goodies in previous years. Just make sure to note any allergies!

I can’t tell you what we’re doing this year (because some of these wonderful people who help The Boy sooooo much read my blog!), but maybe you can share with us some of your ideas in the comments!

Yes, We Are Moving

Posted on December 13, 2012 by simpleijustdo

I did the mental math the other day, and it is only about six months away… Yikes! I have so much to do. It seemed like so far away for so long, that now I actually have to get out the planner and start penciling some stuff in! I can’t believe it! There are so many things we have to do like have a huge garage/Craigslist sale (which will basically entail a whole house inventory, and lots and lost of decisions), meet/talk with the autism society liaison where we’re headed so I can make some plans for The Boy, not only for school, but also for the summer, work on my transition plans for The Boy (including making a “Big Move Book” for him), and then the long list of actual moving details…

The last time I moved between states, I was four years old, so I wasn’t so involved with the details. Now I have pesky things like a driver’s license and bank accounts that will need to be switched.

Oh, and there’s that small detail about employment…

And health insurance…

I think I’ll get right on this…

In January.

Busy, Busy

Posted on December 12, 2012 by simpleijustdo

It’s that time of year, isn’t it? Everyone feels it. And mostly, we do it to ourselves. Fill up those calendars with things to do, and then wonder why this season is so stressful.

Part of the problem in our house is that I teach band and choir, and The Boy is involved in band and choir, which makes for multiple concerts and mandatory attendance. (Luckily, The Boy’s band concert is actually during the day, and I will miss work for this special event! Er, I mean… not “luckily”, but, well, you know…)

Add a birthday (and a birthday party) in the middle of all of those rehearsals and concerts, and it can be beyond hectic, especially in a single-parent household. How do I do it? Carefully scheduled ~~mental health~~ personal days, babysitters, and the mantra “this too shall pass”. Don’t get me wrong — I love this season: the music, the neighborliness, the giving, the traditions. The stress, though? That, I can definitely do without.

What do you do to ensure it is a season of good cheer instead of Bah Humbug?

Happy Birthday, Little Man

Posted on December 10, 2012 by simpleijustdo

Eleven years ago, on this day, at 1:06pm, I gave birth to the light of my life.

The nurses quickly named him “Red”, as he was born with a full head of hair which looked red. When dry, though it turned out to be blonde, and to this day, The Boy’s hair looks red when wet, and blonde when dry.

He was a tiny little thing, just under 5 1/2 pounds, and took his sweet time coming into this world. I had to roll up the sleeves on his tiny newborn-sized clothes, he was so small.

The other day (probably the day I had to buy him size 4 shoes!), I asked The Boy what had happened to my little baby, the one I could fit on my forearm. He said, “Mom, it’s just life. It’s the life cycle. I’m growing!” I said, “Well, you will always be my baby, no matter how much you grow, right?” and he said, “Yes, I’ll always be your baby.”

Damn skippy.

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

Child Support

Posted on December 5, 2012 by simpleijustdo

For the past year or so, the ex has done a fairly good job with keeping up with the meager child support payments he has to make. Why? Because as long as he is gainfully employed, they take it right out of his check. If he had to do anything himself, it probably wouldn’t get done. I’m not slamming him, that’s just a fact, which he would probably admit to, as well. Sometimes his employer has taken it upon himself to submit it biweekly instead of weekly. I’m not sure why he does this, but as long as The Boy gets his support in a timely fashion, it doesn’t really matter to me.

The gainfully employed part of that is the only sticking point. There are times when the ex “gets laid off” which is code for “gets fired”. He tends to have a problem with authority, and tends to not hold a job for terribly long. I think that is what has happened yet again, as it has been longer than two weeks since a payment was made.

Thankfully, I haven’t really had to fight too much for The Boy’s rights. My state (as I think most states do) works with the state in which the ex lives, and they do a great job of tracking down the people and information they need, and following through with their procedures. A couple of years ago, the total amount owed got up to about $3000, and my state initiated hearing proceedings. They notified the ex, who started to panic, and they even went so far as to intimate to him that if he didn’t have all of the money at the hearing, he would be put in jail. I’m not sure that is entirely true, but good on the (mostly) ladies who work for child services in getting the desired results.

Of course, the ex sees it as “the man” trying to “keep him down” because he’s known a lot of guys who have been “screwed by the system” over the years. The funniest part of all of this was the moment when the ex realized he actually had to pay more toward his son’s upbringing after the divorce, because I footed so much of the bill when we were married. Karma.

In any case, if you are going through a divorce, please, PLEASE do not make any agreement to go outside of the system. I know my state doesn’t even allow it, so it may not even be legal where you are, but beside that, there is no enforcement if you make your own “deal” with your soon-to-be-ex, like my ex desperately wanted me to agree to. Where would I have been when he owed me $3000? Out of luck, that’s where.

Also, if you can at all help it, try to get to a point where you do not depend on that support. It really is another form of control that your ex still has over you.

Dav Pilkey Goes a Step Too Far

Posted on December 4, 2012 by simpleijustdo

If you aren’t familiar with Dav Pilkey, he is the author of the incredibly popular Captain Underpants Series (among others along the same vein). The Boy loves his books. He cracks up, and reads and re-reads them often. I used to worry that the atrocious spelling in the books might derail The Boy in that subject area, as he has a rather photographic memory that way, but he actually finds the mistakes hilarious, and we often point out each one when reading together.

Some parents are not fans, finding his tone irreverent, and the subject matter bordering on the lines of bad taste. If you actually read the books, you will find that Dav uses parody to point out some of the basic features of going to school these days, and also subtly mocks what passes for education in our times. Lots of levels, just like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Anyway, I purchased what seems to be the latest book for The Boy (Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Return of Tippy Tinkletrousers) as a surprise to pull out on the plane when electronics could definitely not be used. I knew he hadn’t seen it before, and I knew I could count on it to absorb him for a good while…

[SPOILER ALERT]

And then, The Boy got to the end of the book… Where a character actually dies… In a rather violent manner…

The Boy was understandably upset. These books usually end with the bad guy going to bad guy jail, but no one ever gets seriously hurt, let alone gets killed (by being stepped on by giant zombie nerds, leaving a “red, squishy stain”). He kept going back to that page, obviously disturbed by it.

Oh, Dav, Why did you have to go there? I trusted you to entertain my kid without scarring him, because you never went this far before.

To add insult to injury, Pilkey also claims that as a result of this violent death, there will be no more Captain Underpants books. So you kill a character, and then leave the kids high and dry? It does go on to say that there actually will be another book, which ultimately confused the hell out of The Boy, Mr. Literal.

The Boy has decided he is going to write a letter to Dav Pilkey about all of this, which I encouraged, as I hope many others do, as well. I think Mr. Pilkey has forgotten that his audience is made up of children, who while desperately trying to become adults, are still impressionable and trusting. And in this latest book, he has let them down.

Why are Vacations so Short?

Posted on November 26, 2012 by simpleijustdo

We had a great trip. Here are some highlights:

What He Doesn’t Know

Posted on November 25, 2012 by simpleijustdo

Kids with autism are often lost when one uses colloquialisms and turns of phrase because they don’t jive with the literal translation in their minds. Tonight, I made a comment to The Boy as he was giggling about something he was watching on youtube that he was “laughing like a hyena”. He had no idea what I meant, in large part because he didn’t know what a hyena was.

I was momentarily stunned as I thought, “He doesn’t know what a hyena is? He’s almost eleven! Shouldn’t he have learned this by now?” I thought back to when I was eleven, and tried to remember if I knew then what a hyena was, and guessed that I probably did. So why did I know that then? Maybe Mutual of Omaha? Maybe we need to be watching more nature shows on PBS? Don’t answer that — I know we need to be watching more anything on PBS. I’m just not all that keen on TV, but that’s another story…

What does a modern mom do? I pulled up youtube and called him over to watch a youtube video of a hyena laughing, in response to which he promptly… you guessed it, started laughing.

Does anyone else find this parenting thing not at all as sequential as you thought it would be, and way more random?