Big News for The Boy

Fantastic Babysitter is going to have a baby, and I was honored to be one of the first to know.  She has become such an integral part of our family, and I can’t even begin to fathom how much we will miss her.  She is going to be a fantastic mother, and there is so much happiness in store for her family.

She waited a bit before telling The Boy, but last night was the big night to impart her news.

This is a picture i took for the Candy article.

We sat down on the couch, and she produced two jellybeans and told him that if he put the two jellybeans together, it would be the size of the baby that is growing in her belly.  He opened his eyes a little wider but didn’t say anything for a few seconds.  She and I both explained a bit more, and then he said, “Did (her husband) do this to you?”

It was a classic, if unexpected response that made us both laugh (we’re still laughing!).  Makes sense coming from one so logical, though.  I guess that sex ed curriculum is working!


The Other Part of Our Story, Part II

He moved into the basement.  He finally consented to the counseling I had been asking for since The Boy was a baby, six years previous (he had always insisted, “We can solve our own problems”), although he considered it an ultimatum from me, which it was.  We attended three sessions together where he did most of the talking.  After the third session, we had an assignment to list  all of the things that we thought the other person misunderstood about us, and then we were to share our lists with each other.

I read my carefully crafted list of maybe six items.  He then read his three page diatribe about everything that was wrong with me, how his family and friends really felt about me, and about how I was such a bitch.  Then he accused me of throwing something at his head in an argument we had had when The Boy was a baby.

(The real story was, he had thrown something at me, while I was holding The Boy, at maybe three months old.  And I had almost left that day.  I did bundle The Boy up and went for a long walk in the cold and snow.  I finally decided against it because babies have so much stuff and it would be very difficult to move everything.)

After he had lied about that argument, and completely twisted the assignment, showing he had no faith in the counseling, I knew it was time to stop fighting, and time to let go.

From our vacation that June...

From our vacation that June…

The Boy and I left town after school was out, on our annual week-long vacation to my parents’ house.  The ex rarely came, and definitely did not come this time.  I took my ring off for the trip, and never did put it back on.  I decided while there that I would file for divorce when I returned, and I did.

Final installment soon…

Happy Birthday, Little Man

Eleven years ago, on this day, at 1:06pm, I gave birth to the light of my life.

Love at First SightThe nurses quickly named him “Red”, as he was born with a full head of hair which looked red.  When dry, though it turned out to be blonde, and to this day, The Boy’s hair looks red when wet, and blonde when dry.


He was a tiny little thing, just under 5 1/2 pounds, and took his sweet time coming into this world. I had to roll up the sleeves on his tiny newborn-sized clothes, he was so small.


The other day (probably the day I had to buy him size 4 shoes!), I asked The Boy what had happened to my little baby, the one I could fit on my forearm.  He said, “Mom, it’s just life.  It’s the life cycle.  I’m growing!”  I said, “Well, you will always be my baby, no matter how much you grow, right?” and he said, “Yes, I’ll always be your baby.”

My Baby

Damn skippy.

Happy Birthday, Little Man!


English: Baby Oliver

English: Baby Oliver (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Boy is an only child.  I am an only child.  Ergo, The Boy is rarely around babies.  When our Fantastic Babysitter asked if it was OK to bring her nephew last week while watching the boy, I thought, “OK, this will be new…” I wasn’t worried. More like curious.

The Boy doesn’t make much contact with others, unless he knows you really well, or unless you are into something that he is into (i.e. computers, comics, etc.).  That somehow accelerates your friendship to the I’m-going-to-drag-you-by-the-arm-to-show-you-something stage.  In any case, I was curious to see if he would be curious about this (5 month old) baby.

For awhile after the divorce, he would talk sometimes about someday getting a brother or sister, and wouldn’t that be cool.  I honestly don’t remember how I responded to those comments, if I did at all.  I knew I was done (meaning no more babies), but I wasn’t going to rule out the ex’s side of things, and I know I wouldn’t have stepped into that minefield.

So Fantastic Babysitter arrived, with her nephew in his carrier, and of course, I couldn’t help myself.  I began cooing and generally making a fool of myself over the little bundle of cuteness.  The Boy was right behind me watching all of this, taking it in.  At one point he gently but possessively grabbed my arm.  I asked if he was jealous, and he ignored me.  He wandered about the kitchen as Fantastic Babysitter and I talked.  After kissing The Boy, and reminding him to behave, I headed for the door.  As I left, Fantastic Babysitter was asking The Boy what he wanted to do.

They ended up going to Chuck E. Cheese.  She is so Fantastic, she can handle a 5 month old and a boy with autism at that place!  I bow to her.  They had fun, and I beat them home.

But I got the biggest smile of the evening (possibly of the week) when she texted me that The Boy was referring to himself as Uncle as he explained to the baby about the car trip back home, and everything that they were doing.

It seems no one can resist the charm of a baby.