Feeling the Love

Posted on December 6, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Last night, The Boy had his first band concert of the year, and played music he has had for about two weeks on his new instrument, the tuba. There was standing-room-only in the auditorium, and The Man and I watched from the back with The Boy’s grandparents. We heard him play, as he is the only tubist in the 6th grade band, and we heard him play well. And I was proud, listening to my boy do his best, and do it well.

It was a great concert, and after it was over, he was geeked, excited. Once in the car, he went right for his DS (a re-discovered love, as it has been in the bottom of some drawer for a couple of years), but was giggly and goofy. We had to pick up The Man’s truck, and he loves to ride in it with him, so I drove on alone for the few short miles to our house.

As the car started to climb the rise of the bridge over the Intracoastal Waterway, I began to tear up with emotion as I realized how thankful I am for all that has happened in the past year. Maybe it’s a little early for the annual retrospective, but it really has been a great couple of weeks. Things were getting a little dark there for awhile, but now The Boy is in a much better place, school-wise (and a GREAT band program, to boot!), I have a new job that I love, and the very best husband ever. And we’ve moved to a place where it reaches 70 degrees on the 5th of December, which also happens to be around the corner from the very best parents in the world.

Can you feel the love? I sure can. ❤

Newlywed Report: I Like This

Posted on November 15, 2013 by simpleijustdo

After I got divorced, I swore I would never get married again, and mostly because I had such a horrendous financial mess on my hands, but also because I had been so miserable for so long. I felt and still feel that people should not have to live miserable lives if they don’t have to.

Even as The Man and I progressed in our relationship to the point of thinking about marriage, I was still nervous. Did I want to make that kind of commitment again? Did I want to subject my son to a relationship that could possibly fail?

And then I came to the realization that all relationships have that potential. They also have the potential to enrich our lives, help us grow as people, and give us the support to make us the best we can be. I had never experienced that myself, but I knew the potential was there, and I also knew that I had never ever felt about anybody the way I felt (and still feel) about The Man.

We’re coming up on being married for five months, and in that time, we have joined households, developed routines, and purposely chosen to spend time together when other options were available. We even work together on occasion. And you know what? We work well together. Yes we have disagreements, and momentary lapses of bitchiness (on both parts), but we never get to the point of purposefully hurting the other person because that is the absolute last thing either of us would want to do. And 99.9% of the time, we are enjoying each other’s company.

I just got off the phone with The Man. It was just a random mid-day phone call to tell me what his plans were for the afternoon, and we talked for awhile about this, that and everything. He said, “You know, I like being married. I thought it would be bad, and I had bragged for so long about remaining single, and some of the married people I talked to seemed so envious. But I really like it. Plus, I have a good woman. And she’s not bad to look at either,” he concluded.

I think I’ll keep him. ❤

The Next Thing

Posted on November 5, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Home To Thanksgiving, Currier and Ives

The ex has bagged out on Thanksgiving with The Boy, unless I consented to have his parents pick The Boy up the weekend before Thanksgiving, and have him miss three days of school. My response to that was, “That’s not a good idea,” and so, no visitation until who knows when.

The common sense thing for the ex to do, now that we live even further apart, would be to save up a little money so he could come down for a weekend, stay at a hotel and see his son. But that will never happen. He doesn’t save money, and when he does, he spends it on himself. He probably resents The Boy for the child support coming out of his check, and reasons that that’s enough money to be spending on him, and he shouldn’t have to spend any more just to see him.

If you’re keeping track, The Boy hasn’t seen his dad since April, and the phone calls have become less and less frequent. They are about once a month, now. He was excited about going to see his dad’s kitties for Thanksgiving, and even though I tell him every time it comes up not to get his hopes up, and that it might not happen, he still talks about it as if it is a certainty.

Yesterday, I purposely brought it up because we need to get him from this place of certainty that it will happen to a place of certainty that it won’t happen with as little stress, trauma, and disappointment as possible, not an easy feat. I said, “Wouldn’t it be nice to stick around here for Thanksgiving, and celebrate with me and our family?”

“What?!”

I repeated myself.

“Well, I still might go to my dad’s,” he said.

“And you might not,” I said.

“We’ll see,” he said, and then, “Let’s find out for sure.”

I told him I would ask his dad, knowing full well that I wouldn’t because I already know it won’t happen. So now it is my unhappy job to figure out when to break the news, and possibly come up with some distraction to soften the blow.

This is one of the most unfair parts of the job. I know no one ever said life would be fair, but this right here? This sucks.

Double Dating

Posted on October 3, 2013 by simpleijustdo

The Man is a creature of routine. Before The Boy and I came around, it was even to the point that he ate certain meals on certain nights of the week. I think he misses this a little bit, but we’re both good for each other, pulling each other out of our comfort zones, just a bit.

The Man also has lots and lots of friends and acquaintances, and some of that comes from staying in the town in which you grew up. But even more of it has to do with the fact that he’s an affable guy who has owned a business or two, and people just like him. But he has few close friends, which is more like me. I’ve always been able to count them on less than one hand, and he is much the same.

We’re bringing the wine 😉

Tonight, we are heading over to a friend’s house (his, of course) for dinner, and I’m excited. People! Real people! And I get to hang out with them and have intelligent adult conversation! And crab cakes! I know these friends of his, and I like them – they are good people. And so we are doing this thing that I’m sure lots of other people do lots of. We just don’t. Or should I say, haven’t?

We went out a couple of times with PITA and her hubby when The Man was in town and I still lived up north, and we had fun. But it was difficult to schedule, with PITA’s hubby being a chef (working nights and weekends), and The Man only visiting every 12 weeks or so.

So this is new, this having dinner with friends thing. And I’m very much looking forward to it. 🙂