Reflections on an IEP Meeting

Our IEP meeting was Thursday, and I felt like we accomplished something, but I’m reserved in my enthusiasm…  More of a wait-and-see attitude about it all.

The good:

  • They agreed to implement his IEP as it came from our previous state, to the best of their ability
  • They agreed that training for the teachers in modifications and accommodations was necessary immediately
  • The teachers seemed to support his need for an aide
  • We finally fixed his schedule so that he would no longer have two math classes
  • They will be adding ASD-specific life skills to his schedule to replace the math
  • They will be looking for some sort of computer for him to use for assignment
  • They will begin to actually implement his IEP, and the ASD specialist commented several times that this was overdue

The not-so-good, of the “shake my head” variety:

  • The teachers kept bringing up common autistic traits, “He won’t talk to me,” or “He won’t do his work, even after being directed”
  • The principal asked me point-blank, “He won’t verbalize it if he needs something??”
  • They are going to do more testing, including a psychological and intelligence (IQ) test, even though he was thoroughly evaluated this spring in his old district, simply because the new state requires these other tests
  • My concerns about organization help and communication were not addressed as specifically as I’d like them to be
  • They included a note about following his IEP “to the best of their ability”

I think I was heard, I think they have a better idea of what needs to be done, I think I’m not “that woman” anymore.  I don’t know to what extent they will follow through on their promises, and they have a great deal to learn about autism in general, and my son, specifically.

I hope we accomplished something.  I hope…

IEP documentation

Practical Tips for Email Documentation: IEPs and Dealing with the School

Because I am new-but-not-really-new to having to fight for my son’s rights, I have an interesting learning curve.  I am very aware of the law, but not as well versed in the day-to-day practices that are highly recommended for those of us battling the schools.  It’s not dissimilar to having a less-than-amicable divorce, especially because documentation is so important.

I have always been a proponent of email, in large part because it is an easy way to establish a paper trail.  As such, I have been emailing The Boy’s teachers and administrators since the beginning of the school year with my concerns and requests.  As we have gone further into the school year, and I have realized that things are not running as smoothly as I had hoped, I am glad I have the emails as documentation, but have found that just leaving them in my inbox is not the best organizational practice, and it would be cumbersome to try to sort, save, and/or print just the relevant correspondence.

Through trial and error, I have found a great way to organize these emails with the idea of using them for documentation in the IEP process, and possible mediation process if necessary later on.  I hope we don’t have to go that far, but it is much better to be prepared and do the legwork now than to have to go back through several month’s worth of emails.

circlesFirst of all, I highly recommend using a gmail account for your correspondence with the schools, because it has capabilities that other email accounts don’t have.  I have put all of the teachers and administrators in a “circle” within my gmail account, labeled “The Boy’s School”.  I can click on that “circle” and view all of the emails from those people without the distractions of other, unrelated emails in the way.

Secondly, I have an existing Evernote account.  You can download a free desktop version, which is all I’ve ever used, and although I don’t use it often, it has some very neat capabilities.  If you aren’t familiar, you can check it out here.  It also has an app for smartphones, which can sync with your desktop app.  Evernote is like a huge notebook where you can store and organize stuff – stuff as small as an idea, and stuff as large as a document.  One of the great things about Evernote, that we will use here, is that you can create notes by emailing whatever you’d like to your Evernote account – it sets up a specific-to-you email for this purpose.

After you have a gmail account and an Evernote account, you can then select all of the school email addresses in your gmail account and apply a filter, forwarding copies of all of the emails from people in your school circle to your Evernote account (using that Evernote-specific email), thereby creating “notes” out of all correspondence with all of your child’s teachers and administrators. To do this, select all of the messages within a “circle”, click on the “more” button, and select “filter messages like these”.  Follow the directions from there, plugging in your specific-to-you Evernote email address.  It is important to note that the filter will only forward the emails that are received after the filter has been applied – you will have to forward each email that has already been received, yourself.

Evernote

You can also save texts to Evernote by either using an app that will do this for you (there are several), or by taking screenshots of the texts on your phone (do this on an iPhone by pressing the home and power button simultaneously), and emailing them to your Evernote-specific email.  If you have the smartphone Evernote app, it’s even simpler: After you have taken screenshots of the texts, you can open your Evernote app, press the “+” button to add a note, press on the camera icon, select “choose existing” which will take you to your camera roll, and you can select the screenshot you just took of the text from your camera roll.

You can even save voicemails to Evernote (or recordings of meetings!), if you have recording capabilities on your phone/computer, and can save them as an mp3 file.

Finally, you can merge notes (say all of the emails from his social studies teacher, so you can prove a pattern of disregard for the modifications she needs to be making for your son… for example…), and/or you can create a pdf of the selected note(s) by choosing “print” and instead, saving as a pdf (click on the radio button on the lower left hand corner in the print pop-up screen).

It helps to go into all of your notes, and change the date to the actual date of the correspondence, rather than the date you entered it into Evernote – you can do this by clicking on the “i” icon.  You may also want to tag your newly entered notes with the last name of those involved.  This is not necessary with emails, as Evernote will search the emails for the relevant names, but it is another layer of organization.

These tips can also be used by teachers to keep track of correspondence with specific parents, or by anyone who needs to organize emails, texts, and the like from specific people!

IEP Day

We’ve already had our IEP for the year (up north), but things have been going so poorly at The Boy’s new school that I called a meeting, and it’s today.  Luckily, I know the outcomes I want, and I know how to stand my ground.  I know enough about special education law, and I know a lot about my son.  I also know a lot about good teaching, regardless of the students in the chairs.  I’m not going to slander anyone, but I really hope for some changes to be made.  I’ll go as far as I can go, but I am prepared with contingency plans, as well.  I’ve spoken to an advocate, and I have documentation to support our cause.  We also have resources available to us, and I’m ready.

Let’s do this.

The Man, a Cargo Van, and IKEA

The Man and I are traveling this week.  Just an overnighter to help a friend’s daughter move from her parents’ house to a deluxe apartment in the sky in a big city about six hours away from us.  We’ll be traveling by cargo van, and staying in a moderately priced hotel, with a quick trip to IKEA the following morning, and hopefully returning home with a new couch.

I know, luxurious, right?

It’s no honeymoon, but I know we’ll still have a good time.  We like spending time together, even while working or doing menial tasks, and he actually loves to drive.  I can’t wait to hit IKEA, one of the things I miss most about living up north.  When the closest one is six hours away, you appreciate it so much more.

Ikea_logo.svg

And I can’t wait to have a couch!  We’ve been sitting in chairs every evening, and even though The Man loves his recliner, I’m ready to relax, and stretch out.

We’ll mix a little work with a little fun, and my parents will stay with The Boy – a little changeup to our routine.  Enough to make it interesting, but not too much to throw us off.  This is the life.  🙂

This Close

Icon-type silhouette of an airplane. (Mainly t...I am THIS CLOSE to telling the ex to stop even trying to bother.  Over the past couple of months, he has cancelled his August visitation (which has happened three out of the past four years, probably even longer), and then immediately promised The Boy he would see him for Thanksgiving.  His “plan” was to have his mom fly down, fly back with The Boy, and then he himself would fly down again with him to drop him off, and fly back.  He claimed his mom offered to pay for her tickets, and he (the ex) would pay for his own and for The Boy’s.  Did you count how many tickets that was?

I knew before the words were even out of his mouth that it wouldn’t happen, but per usual, just nodded my head, and said, “Sure.”  And The Boy has continued talking about seeing his dad’s kitties in November (the only part of his trips he is verbally concerned with).  And every time, I remind him that it might not happen, and I-don’t-want-you-to-get-too-disappointed-if-it-doesn’t-happen…  “I know, Mom,” he says.

And he does.

The text came tonight, saying he couldn’t afford the airfare, but that his girlfriend has a cousin in our state who will be alone for Thanksgiving, so they might…

JUST STOP.

That plan won’t happen either, because you will ask me to drive four hours, one way, to the middle of nowhere the night before Thanksgiving to make this work for you, and when I won’t, it will be my fault again that you will have missed another opportunity to spend time with your son.

I’m over it.

He’s over it.

It’s so much energy on everyone’s part, and the only thing created is headache and disappointment.  I am THIS CLOSE to asking him to quit trying.

Divorce, Cameras, and Redemption

When the ex and I divorced, it had been a long time coming.  And although there were some explosive fights, once the decision had been made and the papers filed, we were fairly civil and business-like, at least when it came to the process.  OK, this wasn’t always the case, but it was when we came to the division of assets, primarily because we didn’t have much.  I remember going through our DVDs and thinking how ridiculous it was to be sorting them by title, and that they would actually be listed that way in the papers.

But there was something he got in the settlement that I always regretted.  My grandpa on my father’s side loved to take pictures (although his portraits were always off-center), and he had a small collection of brownie cameras.  We had these displayed in our house, and I believe they were given to the ex one holiday by my parents.  Of course, when it came to dividing things up, he took them, almost greedily, probably assuming they were worth some money.  And of course, they were probably promptly sold to a pawn shop.

I don’t have much that belonged to my grandpa.  Pictures, yes, but belongings, no.  I have always felt that those cameras should have stayed with me, especially as I have become more and more of an amateur photographer myself.

__

Flip forward to this weekend.  The Man, The Boy and I stopped at the flea mall, which is mostly junk, with a few unusual items to look at.  We came across a table where the old man had some interesting stuff for sale.  The Boy noticed the cardboard cigarette ads claiming that Camels would give you “Healthy Nerves!”

Healthy!

“They’re lying!!”  The Boy giggled.  “Cigarettes are NOT healthy!”

The Man noticed an old looking, leather covered box, and engaged the old man in conversation about it.  He explained it was a camera with glass plates.  I didn’t take much notice, but when the old man said he wanted $100 for it, I tuned out.  Later that night, The Man mentioned the camera again, and we started looking online to see if we could find it or something like it.  I didn’t think we had even seen the lens on it, and started to get curious.  I did a little online research, and we decided to go back the next day.

When we returned, his asking price had dropped to $85, and thanks to my groundwork, I now knew how to open it, to see the lens.  And oh, when we opened it up, I fell in love.  It was in great shape, and I also learned in my investigations that they were popular in the 1890s, and early 1900s, coinciding with the birth of my grandpa, the one whose cameras I no longer had…  It all made sense in a rather illogical way.  We negotiated him down a bit, and I got my prize.  Now that I knew the brand name, and model number, I was able to explore a bit more online and realized we got a great deal, but even more importantly, I was able to toss out the regret I’ve lived with for five years.  I know my grandpa would appreciate my find as much as I do.

Ray No.1

Amidst the Angst, I’m Really Thankful

I know lots of people do “Thankful Thursday” posts, but I wanted to pause in my week-long rant/neurosis/panic attack about The Boy and our concerns with his current schooling situation to express how really lucky I am.

  • I’m so happy that we’ve moved.  We have a very, very nice home that is paid for – no mortgage, no rent.  This has allowed me to avoid panicking about still being virtually unemployed.
  • I’m so happy to be married to my husband.  We waited a long time to be together on a daily basis, and now that we are, I still have to pinch myself from time to time.
  • I’m so grateful to have a partner to help me with the daily routine.  He’s still learning about The Boy, especially now that we are all in such close proximity, but it’s not all on me anymore, which was a heavy burden to bear.
  • I’m so happy that we are so close to my parents.  They are some of my closest friends on the planet, and having them 15 minutes away is something I haven’t had in a long, long time (and The Boy hasn’t ever had!).
  • I’m thankful that I have enough in the bank to lean on until I start getting paid regularly, and until I find a more meaningful, full-time position.
  • I’m really grateful that I have the time, background, and fortitude to do what’s apparently necessary for my son’s education.
  • I’m so thankful that my son had such a good education up north, which has shown us that he is capable, and that he has this solid foundation on which to build in middle and high school.
  • I’m happy that my son is apparently enjoying middle school, even if he isn’t getting everything out of it that he could be right now.
  • I’m really glad to have a fledgling support network down here: even though I don’t know many people, I have hooked up with some great people in our local Autism Society chapter who have been so helpful to answer questions and offer support.
  • And I am so thankful for my boy.  He makes me laugh just about every day, even on the days he makes my head spin, and my eyes roll.  I don’t know where I’d be without him!

Deep breath.  I have a lot to be thankful for! 😀

Happy at the Beach

Struggling

I’m really struggling here.  I have never ever had to worry about what went on at school for The Boy.  I knew how lucky I was then, because I read horror stories of what goes on in most school districts, but we were fortunate enough to have a great program, and the absolute best teachers who fought on our side the very few times it was even necessary.

Here, I think I have sent 40 emails in the past week to The Boy’s school personnel.  In addition to three meetings.

And the hits just keep coming.  There is still no aide, although the county autism specialist sent a TA to the school in the mornings to assist.  But only for this week.  I had to walk him back into the school yesterday when I found all of the school supplies (you know, from the supply list that they make available in the summer?) still in his backpack — He’d been carrying them since the first day of school and I had asked multiple times for someone to assist him in getting those things into his locker.  He still has his PE policies parent-sing-page in his backpack, all filled out, but not getting to its destination, plus several random untitled assignments – not checked, unacknowledged.

Last night, he had written that he had science homework in his planner, but neither what it was nor was it on the correct day.  I was clueless, so I emailed the teacher, after checking her website and still being clueless.  She responded to explain the assignment, and I responded thank you and we-may-need-some-more-time-on-this.  No response.  (Mind you, the assignment was to make a list of the characteristics of a science teacher and then draw a rough sketch of a correlating picture, and they will do a final draft of the picture in class, the purpose of which is to supposedly give the teacher a sense of their “work ethic”…)

projectWhile checking websites, I checked his social studies teacher’s website.  I saw that the “hot dog foldable” had been due yesterday, again no explanation of what that was.  I remembered something floating around his backpack that seemed like it fit the bill, so I made sure he completed that last night.  I also noticed on her website that they were given a “research project” today.  I had no idea what that was, but knew I wouldn’t be able to get any more work out of him last evening, so I let it drop.  Then, I actually found the assignment in his binder this morning – it had an explanation and a rubric and everything!  The goal was to help foreign visitors understand the “key historic, geographic and economic features of a region” – The Boy’s region was apparently “London”.  They were supposed to write up a four day itinerary, and include a map, outlining the route.  Got this assignment yesterday, due today.

So on top of my son having needs that aren’t being addressed in class, due to a lack of an aide to help him attend to tasks at hand, he also has needs that aren’t being met in terms of his organizational skills, and no one helping him to keep track of assignments.  No one is modifying assignments to my knowledge.  And we have a range of assignments from drawing pictures to one-night research projects!

If The Boy didn’t love school so much, I would seriously be considering homeschooling right now.  It’s totally not out of the question…

 

Addendum to My Last Post

Let me assure you that when I wrote my last post, there were several drafts, and I let time pass so that it wasn’t the rant it started out as.  The problem here is not his teacher, as it rarely is.  Could she have been more proactive? Could she (still) be better using her resources?  Yes, and yes.

However.

The real problem is part of a much larger problem with education everywhere in our country.  Too often, teachers and students are made to “get by” with what they have.  Sometimes fault lies with local administrators and school boards.  Sometimes, fault lies with the state and federal governments.  It doesn’t really matter.  The fact is that we say we care about education in this country, and we just don’t.  When millages come up, we vote them down in fear of higher taxes.  When politicians run for office, we care only about our own personal hot-button issues and where each candidate stands on those – their records on education are often a secondary consideration (if not further down).  Very few people ever attend a school board meeting, let alone parent-teacher conferences.

In my son’s case, there are two special education teachers for about 40 students in the school.  They have one aide.  They just started a self-contained classroom and hired a brand new teacher for that program – excellent!  But that doesn’t help those kids who are higher functioning, and need adult supports in the classroom like my son.

The Boy and I met with his teacher at the school yesterday – on the holiday weekend.  She spent the day there working on setting up schedules and supports for my son – how could we not go in to help?  She still doesn’t quite get it, but she’s trying.  I can’t ask much more from her.

But you had better believe I won’t stop asking those with hiring power.