The Bigot Just Doesn’t Know When to Quit

If you have followed this saga, you can probably gather from the title of this post that the poor excuse for a human being has upped the ante.

Last week, he called the sheriff’s department with a complaint, purportedly out of concern for The Boy’s safety.

Applies to AllThe Lieutenant knocked on my parent’s door, asking them about The Boy and his activities while he stays with them.  Grammy gave him the whole background. She said he was polite enough, and after he left, she called me to let me know he may call me.  He never called. Not knowing if this visit was legit or not, The Man and I decided to head to the sheriff’s department the next day to request a report from the previous night.  If no report existed, it was not a legit visit, and we were up against a good ol’ boy network.  If it did, we could see who made the complaint, and go from there.

Sure enough, there was a report. And sure enough, the poor excuse for a human being was the one who complained, stating that The Boy “runs around the park constantly” and “refuses to get out of the way of cars,” both utter lies. After reading the report, we requested an appointment with the Sheriff himself, and acquaintance of The Man. He was unavailable, but we were able to see the Chief Deputy, second in command, right away.

I had come prepared (what special needs mom wouldn’t), and had copies of both the letter he had given my mom, and the one I had sent in response (“Well-written letter!” the Chief Deputy commented). I gave him the whole story, he jotted notes as we went along, but I didn’t have to get very far to notice I had won him over.  Just about to the point when the pathetic excuse for a human being told The Man to that we needed to keep our retarded kid inside… yeah, that was about the point he chose sides, and got a steely look in his eyes. He reiterated several times that The Boy has a right to walk wherever he wants. And even if he was constantly running around the park, he has a right to do that, too. He said the next step would be to get a restraining order against the pathetic excuse for a human being, and that sometimes that ended things, but other times that just escalated the situation. He recommended speaking to our lawyer to see what she recommended. We discussed setting up a chance for The Boy to meet a deputy in uniform o that he would feel comfortable, to which he was extremely accommodating (“Anytime you want to set something up like that, just give me ac all and we will make it happen,”), and we inquired about the training his deputies have in autism, to which he said they were all trained in CIT (Critical Intervention Training) which encompassed dealing with those on the autism spectrum, as well as other disorders that might prevent someone from responding to them in an expected fashion.

We walked away heartened and relieved. We are moving forward with a plan for The Boy to meet with a deputy at the mobile home park. I also plan to get in touch with an attorney, even if it sets us back a little.

 

Apparently, this guy doesn’t often have people stand up to him and his bigotry. Unfortunately for him, he has chosen my boy to bully. We’re going to drag this pathetic excuse for a human being into the 21st century, kicking and screaming if we have to.

Equality and Divorce

In the state where I was married (and divorced) before, in any marriage lasting 10 years or longer, spouses are automatically granted half of their former spouses retirement, no questions asked.  Therefore, even though the ex was college educated and quite capable of getting and maintaining his own job with a retirement plan, but chose not to, he is entitled to half of my retirement.

For the same reason that I disagree with “no tolerance” policies in public education, as well as all-or-nothing inclusion policies, I find this law completely without merit.

I understand the reasoning behind its inception: it was designed to protect housewives of yesteryear who were often left with no way to support themselves financially after a divorce, having given up any career options they may have had to stay home and raise the children or what have you.  I applaud the thought behind it, and I’m sure it did a lot to even out the playing field in years past.

But now that it benefits someone like the ex, who chose a seasonal, menial job over a salaried position using his degree in graphic design, and chose to take unemployment all winter rather than find a different type of job for those months, who chose to use that time at home smoking pot and doing very little of anything else that might contribute to the running of the household, now this law has jumped the shark.  It has ceased protecting the people it was designed to help, and instead is benefiting those who clearly do not deserve the benefit.

One of the newspapers posted a story about dads fighting back in the court system in regards to custody and child support, and me with my big mouth decided to comment in the comments on the facebook link that it would be great if they could also review that archaic law that decides that 10 years of marriage means you deserve half of someone’s retirement, and guess what?  Yup.  Just about every misogynist on the internet responded back to me.  That we women wanted equality, and now we have it so just suck it up and “pay up Buttercup.”

Bleh.

Never once did I bash men in my comment.  I asked for a review of the arbitrary law, and declared that I would like a more thoughtful approach to the division of assets.  But in response, several men decided that I was the source of their misfortune in life, and that I should pay for the wrongdoings of every woman who had ever wronged them.  Nevermind that a review like the kind for which I advocate could and obviously would benefit at least some men, including these men who have been so wronged by some apparently evil women.  Nope, that didn’t matter.  All that mattered is that I was a woman, women have asked for equality, and now that “we have it” I should shut up.

We still have a long way to go, ladies, if men are against any of our ideas, even if it would benefit them, just because a woman has voiced them.  A long way to go…

 

IEP Day

We’ve already had our IEP for the year (up north), but things have been going so poorly at The Boy’s new school that I called a meeting, and it’s today.  Luckily, I know the outcomes I want, and I know how to stand my ground.  I know enough about special education law, and I know a lot about my son.  I also know a lot about good teaching, regardless of the students in the chairs.  I’m not going to slander anyone, but I really hope for some changes to be made.  I’ll go as far as I can go, but I am prepared with contingency plans, as well.  I’ve spoken to an advocate, and I have documentation to support our cause.  We also have resources available to us, and I’m ready.

Let’s do this.

Peter Pan Keeps Coming Back

Will he never grow up?  Will he never learn to manage his anger?  Will he ever learn that I just don’t play that way?

Cover of 1915 edition of J. M. Barrie's novel,...

Ah, yes.  The Angry Ex has returned, texting me today, all nicey-nice about a couple of favors he needs from me.  The check is in the mail, but will I send a short paragraph to his potential mortgage lender about how he pays child support regularly?  And can I send him a copy of our divorce papers?

Number 1: He doesn’t pay child support regularly, so he is asking me to lie in exchange for money that he already owes his own son.  Number 2: We are divorced, and keeping track of his paperwork is no longer my responsibility (like it ever was?).

When I first spoke to an attorney about the possibility of divorce, the attorney told me that so many of his cases were against “Peter Pan” – guys who just never grew up.  The ex in my case seems to be Peter Pan’s darker twin brother, because when I won’t play along and do what he expects me to do, he gets angry, verbally abusive, and retaliates by not speaking and/or seeing his son.

At first he was fine with me not making copies of the divorce papers.

And then he called.  As soon as I heard my phone (I have a special ringtone, just for him), I knew that I would be asked for another “favor”, and not that he was actually calling to talk to his son, with whom he hasn’t spoken in two weeks, and then only because The Boy called him.  He explained that he was in a “time crunch” and asked if I would scan in the divorce papers and email them to him.  I told him I really didn’t have the time, and he hung up on me.

As if that hurts me in some way.

Nope, he’ll never grow up.

“We won’t grow up!
We will never grow a day
And if someone tries to make us
We will simply run away” ~ Peter Pan