school community | Simple. I Just Do.

While reading the recent NPR article about inclusion, I realized that it’s still a subject of controversy, which puzzles me. Because to me, the issue of inclusion is about basic human rights. In America, every kid has the right to a free education, and the notion that some kids who “hinder” or “distract” kids who will actually make a “net contribution to society” and should therefore be stuck in a room somewhere sounds like something out of the 50s and 60s. Have we really not traveled so far as to realize the “worth” of every human being, and their basic human rights, even in this country?

Wow.

I have to say I’m gobsmacked. Many commenters were concerned about gifted kids being placed centrally in a classroom so they could help their peers during lessons, as if that were a disservice to that gifted child. What? We want to discourage helping others, now? Because not being placed centrally in the classroom would help her achieve higher levels of giftedness? Help me understand…

The Boy in his ASD room with compression blankets, sitting atop a pilates ball

I am not necessarily a proponent of full inclusion, except when a student with disabilities is best served with full inclusion. I prefer for my kid to have a safe space and some downtime in his school day, so that he doesn’t have to be “on” all day long. I love that he has a space where he can be his true self, at least during lunch, and his social skills class. If he didn’t, he would be ready to blow every day when he got home, and that ain’t good for anybody. So I appreciate the sort of inclusion he gets – “Inclusion lite”, if you will.

But as I wrote in my recent post, I want him to be able to socialize with his neuro-typical peers, because that’s a thing. He will need that in his lifetime, in order to succeed to the best of his abilities. And in my humble opinion, he will need that more than knowledge about the Pharoahs of Egypt. I want him to belong to his school community, and that just won’t happen if he is stuck in a separate room all day.

I shouldn’t let the trolls get to me, but every human being has worth, and my kid has more than most. He deserves the same respect as every other kid on the block. And he does have a very basic right to the same education every other 6th grader gets.

I read and shared a great article the other day, written by Laura McKenna, entitled, “Our Public Schools Must Be More Autism-Friendly — Here’s Where to Start,” and published on the Pacific Standard Magazine website. In it, Ms. McKenna highlights ways in which schools could be more inclusive with their extra-curricular offerings. She makes an excellent point, as may of the kids I know on the spectrum do not participate in clubs and sports, due to the level of social sophistication that is required for inclusion. But that only allows our children partial access to everything the school experience has to offer.

The Boy and I have made the decision to continue with school band next year. I have spoken to the band director, and we are going to take a proactive approach, and really monitor what needs to be modified and accommodated for him, even in terms of performances. I am comfortable with that, and if I ever get uncomfortable with the situation, I can pull The Boy out and continue with private lessons, which was my intention when the whole band debacle went down this winter. But here’s the thing: I realize now what a social thing school band is, and I understand that this may not work out for The Boy, and that’s OK. But I still want him to belong to his school community, and if it won’t be through band, then how?

We have mostly stuck with independent stuff like surfing

When he dropped him off after spring break, his dad told us all about how they played basketball, and The Boy has a great shot. They also worked on catch, but were not as successful, and they would work on that (uh, right). Sure, if The Boy has interest in playing sports, we could encourage it, but to what end? School sports are also social in nature, with the necessity to read cues from teammates and opponents and to quickly interpret them and decide on a course of collective action – a tall order for someone with underdeveloped social instincts and executive processing difficulties. So he shoots free throws by himself? Again, how does this help him fit into his school community?

Our local Autism Society Chapter has taken on the challenge to fill this void in our community, and I applaud them for it. They have been recognized statewide for creating a “Friends, Fun, and Birthday Club” which happens once a month to celebrate all of the kids birthdays that happen that month. Friends, siblings, and those on the spectrum are all invited – anyone can attend, and since Birthday Parties are kind of a sore spot for the autism community, this meets a very strong need, and is quite successful.

They also have a once-per-month fundraiser at a local pizza restaurant, which has turned out to be a social gathering for the kids on the spectrum and their siblings. They all sit at the same table, away from their parents, and they bring their DS’s and gameboys and have a good ol’ time. It is a sight to behold, and I almost get teary-eyed watching them together.

The chapter offers monthly music and art programs for the kids to participate in, too,and again, friends, siblings, and kids on the spectrum are all welcome.

But again, this is all outside of the school community. Inclusion needs to happen outside of the classroom, as well, and it is high time our schools begin to recognize the void in our kids lives. Yes, we want to allow them the comfort of being alone, but as adults on the spectrum will tell you, they also want to have friends and be a part of the larger group. We have to help them do that, and developing programs to address those needs is long past overdue.

I’m off to share this article with my son’s principal…