Tag Archives: Health

I’m Failing at Exercise

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I’m failing.  I am not exercising.  I hopped on the bike for 20 minutes last weekend, and was fine until Tuesday, when my right thigh was so sore, it felt like I couldn’t use it properly.  Which meant I had to rest it, and not do any exercise (right?).  Plus Monday and Tuesday were both extremely long days, with nary an hour in which to work out until 9:30pm.  So it wasn’t really my fault.  And then it was the end of the marking period, and I had stuff to do.  See all the excuses I can come up with?

And I have, and Ack!  I’m failing, and I hate it.  Failing and I just don’t jive.  Plus this added weight on my hips and thighs is making things not fit, and if we end up getting married this summer I will never find a dress that is two sizes bigger on the bottom than on the top, and my knees hurt more and I need to lose this extra weight!!!

Ugh.

I have figured out that I cannot commit to working out everyday.  It is unrealistic and it just won’t happen.  So while I love slimkicker (remember slimkicker?) I just can’t do a challenge which includes doing something daily.  Lesson learned.  Check!

I have also figured out that I have come to depend on Time Out (remember Time Out?) because I turned it off awhile ago, and have spent way too many hours (upon hours) at the computer in the last few weeks.  Turn it back on.  Check!

rest stop

Finally, I need to get back into my get work done, reward with fun stuff routine (remember the Pomodoro technique?).  It has been all fun stuff, leading to my big fat…  Well, you get the picture.  Get it done.  Check!

These are my goals.  To get back on track with these things. Anybody else hitting a wall?  I’m ready to get over it.

Autism and Puberty for Boys

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The Boy is 11 now, and just within the past six months or so, he has been experiencing some significant changes to his body.  He is much more private about using the bathroom and taking a shower, and I’ve been fretting about just how to talk about this stuff with him.  I’m not really an expert on the boy process, you know?  I always learned about the girl stuff in school – go figure.  And with a mostly absent dad, and a fiance whose job it really isn’t anyway, it’s left to me to explain…

A friend mentioned that The American Girl company (that makes the dolls) has an excellent book on this subject, but alas, it’s for girls – go figure.  This left me to wonder was there anything out there for boys??

Then the other day, Autism Speaks (love them or hate them, they do have awesome resources!) posted on facebook about several resources for boys with autism going through puberty.  Amazing how some things just fall in your lap at the right times.  I ordered two of the books, Taking Care of Myself by Mary Wrobel and The Boys’ Guide to Growing Up by Terri Couwenhoven.

puberty books

Taking Care of Myself is more of a curriculum resource for teachers (primarily), focusing on hygiene and puberty.  It is for both boys and girls.  I am still working through it, and will do more of a full review later, but it seems to contain social story-based text that you can use in multiple formats for your child with autism.

The Boys’ Guide to Growing Up is a much shorter book, designed to be read to or with your son with a developmental disability.  It focuses on the internal and external effects of puberty: changes to the body, and changes in feelings.  It spends a lot of time discussing the difference between public and private, and what is OK to share publicly, and what is better done in private.  It only touches on hygiene. It is written at a third grade reading level so that more boys can access the information, and it is repetitive so that main ideas are reinforced.  It also has illustrations which are appropriate.

Neither of these books talks about sexuality or intercourse, which is just fine by me!

Hygiene is starting to be an issue with us, so I think using both of these books is going to be the best bet for us.  But with The Boys’ Guide to Growing Up, I feel like I can have a conversation now with The Boy about the changes he is beginning to experience, and feel less like an idiot.

I’ll keep you posted.

Weighty Issue

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I went to the doctor today and had the requisite “weigh-in”, and I’m about 15 pounds over my normal weight.  That’s what I get for not owning a scale, I guess.  And so I started mulling over this whole increased-cellulite/Holy-crap-I-haven’t-been-this-heavy-since-right-nefore-my-divorce/hate-to-workout … Continue reading →

A Poet in My Own Mind: “Autism”

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I enjoy writing.  Always have.  I took a creative writing course in college and had a great deal of fun, especially with poetry.  Fun does not necessarily translate into good, so I apologize in advance.  I’m not the type to subject my poetry on others, but when I ran across this poem that I must have written in a desperate moment, I’m guessing about three years ago (based on the Wubbzy reference), I thought it might resonate with others going through similar desperate moments.

Autism

Short

definition:

A neurological disorder…

Long

definition:

Something not quite

right.  Speech delay

Speech therapy, Occupational

therapy (hypersensitive, hyposensitive,

Gross motor – Gross like large not like

yucky, fine motor) From flashcards

to reading two years ahead

Obsess, obsess, Obsession

for months (Pizza rolls every single

night for dinner) (Wubbzy AGAIN?)

laughing, joking, never gets

old.  Still no empathy.

Logical, linear, Spock-like, must

follow the rules, follow the law, follow the

schedule.  No deviation, no changes, no

surprises, no fire drills or we derail.

anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

lay the clothes out, take the meds, follow the

schedule.  Nothing dirty, no holes, no stains,

hide the clothes when they get too small.  Still

might come back to bite you,

kick you, pull your hair, scream, cry, lie

down in the middle of the aisle

suffer the stares, the whispers, the grandma shaking her head, “Mm, mm, mm.”

(must learn that Vulcan death grip – what happens

when he gets bigger?)

What happens next? One day

One day at a time, one day

one day

Breathe, exhale and relax.

Our Story

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Every family with autism has a “story” — not really about them, but about how they came to know about autism, and the battles they have fought, sometimes with insurance companies, sometimes with money, and always with their own emotions.  … Continue reading →

Forgiveness

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I'm okay, you're... well, maybe not

I’m okay, you’re… well, maybe not (Photo credit: pdxjmorris)

Therapists are big on forgiveness, aren’t they?  The books I read post-divorce include forgiveness as a necessary step to healing.  In my own case, it’s been hard.

I had so much anger before, during, and after the divorce.  I placed all of the blame on the ex’s shoulders.  I had so many stories to tell, and people listening would shake their heads, amazed that I had put up with it for so long.  The day after my divorce was final, I remember sharing the news at work, and having others look at me funny because I wasn’t supposed to be so happy.

I reveled in my singlemomdom.  There was so much freedom.  Take a weekend trip with The Boy?  Why, I could, couldn’t I?  Buy a duvet cover with flowers on it?  Yes, please.  Fall asleep in a quiet house?  Heaven.  I also reveled in my anger and my indignation.  The ex was clearly the spawn of Satan, and I had been a saint to last as long as I had.

As time passed, and upon more reflection, I began to realize my part in the downfall of our marriage.  I realized that I had stopped communicating, that I had belittled him, that I had not been strong enough to fight him more on the big issues.  And that maybe he wasn’t the spawn of Satan.  Maybe.

Four years later, I am to the lovely point at which I am mostly indifferent.  The thought of this person that I was married to for ten years rarely even crosses my mind, if at all.  If it does, the thought is apathetic, with no real malice or anger.  He can live his life as he pleases, and it has nothing to do with me.

Except when it does.  When our little link is affected.  When his actions hurt our little boy, I get angry, I blame, I shake with emotion.  And this is why I am not, and don’t think I will ever be to the point of forgiveness.  Lots of moms have this fierce emotion, this snarling-mama-bear-oh-no-you-di’nt reaction, that I think is even ferocious in those of us with kids with special needs.  Because in many cases, our kids can’t express or process their emotions as well as the rest of us.  Because our kids already go through enough. Because we go through enough.  ENOUGH.

I can forgive strangers, because you can dismiss strangers as not knowing any better, being ignorant, or hateful, or stupid. But the ex is not a stranger, and he cannot be written off as ignorant.

It’s really hard to forgive someone who should be protecting his son as fiercely as I am.

And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it.

And I’m OK with that.

Sunday Shout-Out: Creativity Explored

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The Man and I took an incredible trip to San Francisco in 2010.  We spent a week, and on our ramble to the Mission District, we stopped in to take a peek at the Creativity Explored studio and gallery.  For the life of me, I cannot remember how I had heard about this place, but it was, for me, the highlight of the trip.

Creativity Explored is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that provides space, materials, as well as access to mentor artists for adults with developmental disabilities who enjoy expression through making art.  The organization also organizes exhibits and maintains an online shop through which the artists can sell their work, providing income, and an opportunity for self advocacy.

creativity explored

creativity explored (Photo credit: veritatem)

At first, The Man and I looked around the gallery, finding several pieces we wanted to take home.  The person behind the desk asked if we wanted to go in the studio.  We looked at each other and said, “Yes!  Is it open to the public?” He assured us it was, and we went through the entryway into the studio.  There were about 15 adults working on various projects, some with mentor artists at their side, some without.  We wandered through the workspace trying to peek at the works in progress without being too intrusive.  Some of the artists were talking or singing to themselves.  Some were oblivious to our presence, others were wary, and still others waved and welcomed us.  One artist in particular, Peter, greeted us warmly and enthusiastically, giving us a tour of the studio, and lead us to the kiln, telling us all about the firing process, and showing us his just-fired work.  He was very proud, and very happy to have an audience.

We left Creativity Explored, shortly after, realizing we had spent over an hour there.  We were both pretty quiet for awhile, and then remarked to each other what an amazing experience that had been.  And the art!  The art gave me such a new perspective, because these artists were clearly communicating their lives and experiences through this medium, which gave them so much more power to “speak” for themselves.

If you are ever in San Francisco, you must stop in.  It was life changing for me, leading me to earn a Graduate Certificate in Nonprofit Management last year — I was so inspired by this organization doing so much good for adults with developmental disabilities  It has become a new dream for me to be involved with an organization like this.

If you aren’t going to San Francisco anytime soon, please visit the website, buy something, make a donation.  They are doing amazing work, and the artists themselves will blow you away.  (You can look up Peter Cordova, too, and check out his work!)