One of the Toughest Things

One of the toughest things about autism is its unpredictability, which has a certain sense of irony, doesn’t it?  The person with autism relies on predictability, craves it, seeks it out, and yet the disorder itself, for those of us on the outside, has it’s own set of rules, or more like a general sense of chaos.  Just when you think your kid has a handle on the process of setting out clothes the night before, and understanding that we can’t wait until bedtime to decide to wear something already in the dirty clothes, here comes a  curveball: “Where’s the sweatshirt that goes with these pants?”  You know, the sweatshirt that got donated a year ago because it had a blob of glue on it…

And I have no solution.  I try to distract, suggest alternatives, to no avail.  “I’ll just spend all night looking for it,” says he.  No, no you won’t.  You’re going to be miserable, making me miserable until you pass out, which most likely will not be until the wee hours of the morning.  And I can only hope you can move past this in the morning, or the first hour of my morning will be a trial, too.

Damn you, sweatshirt-with-the-blob-of-glue.  Damn you.


9 thoughts on “One of the Toughest Things

  1. I feel your pain…Chaos is the name of our street. 🙂 Actually, Matthew has an amazing memory. He will remember a toy or article of clothing he had once, years ago, and ask where it is…and then the obsessing begins. Can’t plan for it, and it’s virtually impossible to move on. Hope you got some sleep.

  2. That’s an interesting observation about the irony of unpredictability. My clothing issue with my son is getting him to chose between two offered choices. If I leave him to dress himself choosing isn’t difficult – just sometimes hard on the eyes 🙂

  3. We go through this exact same thing with our 22 yr old son and Bethany. Our son is still refusing to take off the Spiderman shirt that he got when he was 10! He is at least 75 pounds heavier and it is in shreds. He hides it under his buttoned up to the top shirts! I just hope he washes it at College sometimes!! it is sooo annoying. I feel for ya and wish I had a magic answer to fix it!

  4. Been there and bought the t-shirt ( so many times I lost count!). For a few years the “fairies” would come by and collect items that were worn out. Every once in a while the “fairies” would drop a new toy in the toybox or leave it on the table or some other odd ball place. It was fun while it lasted.

    I have no illusion that this little trick would work for all kids. That is what makes our kids unique. Parenting them will never be boring. 🙂

    Hoping you get caught up on your sleep!

    ~ Jamie

  5. Pingback: A Look Back at October | Simple. I Just Do.

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