Struggling

Posted on September 4, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I’m really struggling here. I have never ever had to worry about what went on at school for The Boy. I knew how lucky I was then, because I read horror stories of what goes on in most school districts, but we were fortunate enough to have a great program, and the absolute best teachers who fought on our side the very few times it was even necessary.

Here, I think I have sent 40 emails in the past week to The Boy’s school personnel. In addition to three meetings.

And the hits just keep coming. There is still no aide, although the county autism specialist sent a TA to the school in the mornings to assist. But only for this week. I had to walk him back into the school yesterday when I found all of the school supplies (you know, from the supply list that they make available in the summer?) still in his backpack — He’d been carrying them since the first day of school and I had asked multiple times for someone to assist him in getting those things into his locker. He still has his PE policies parent-sing-page in his backpack, all filled out, but not getting to its destination, plus several random untitled assignments – not checked, unacknowledged.

Last night, he had written that he had science homework in his planner, but neither what it was nor was it on the correct day. I was clueless, so I emailed the teacher, after checking her website and still being clueless. She responded to explain the assignment, and I responded thank you and we-may-need-some-more-time-on-this. No response. (Mind you, the assignment was to make a list of the characteristics of a science teacher and then draw a rough sketch of a correlating picture, and they will do a final draft of the picture in class, the purpose of which is to supposedly give the teacher a sense of their “work ethic”…)

While checking websites, I checked his social studies teacher’s website. I saw that the “hot dog foldable” had been due yesterday, again no explanation of what that was. I remembered something floating around his backpack that seemed like it fit the bill, so I made sure he completed that last night. I also noticed on her website that they were given a “research project” today. I had no idea what that was, but knew I wouldn’t be able to get any more work out of him last evening, so I let it drop. Then, I actually found the assignment in his binder this morning – it had an explanation and a rubric and everything! The goal was to help foreign visitors understand the “key historic, geographic and economic features of a region” – The Boy’s region was apparently “London”. They were supposed to write up a four day itinerary, and include a map, outlining the route. Got this assignment yesterday, due today.

So on top of my son having needs that aren’t being addressed in class, due to a lack of an aide to help him attend to tasks at hand, he also has needs that aren’t being met in terms of his organizational skills, and no one helping him to keep track of assignments. No one is modifying assignments to my knowledge. And we have a range of assignments from drawing pictures to one-night research projects!

If The Boy didn’t love school so much, I would seriously be considering homeschooling right now. It’s totally not out of the question…

Addendum to My Last Post

Posted on September 3, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Let me assure you that when I wrote my last post, there were several drafts, and I let time pass so that it wasn’t the rant it started out as. The problem here is not his teacher, as it rarely is. Could she have been more proactive? Could she (still) be better using her resources? Yes, and yes.

However.

The real problem is part of a much larger problem with education everywhere in our country. Too often, teachers and students are made to “get by” with what they have. Sometimes fault lies with local administrators and school boards. Sometimes, fault lies with the state and federal governments. It doesn’t really matter. The fact is that we say we care about education in this country, and we just don’t. When millages come up, we vote them down in fear of higher taxes. When politicians run for office, we care only about our own personal hot-button issues and where each candidate stands on those – their records on education are often a secondary consideration (if not further down). Very few people ever attend a school board meeting, let alone parent-teacher conferences.

In my son’s case, there are two special education teachers for about 40 students in the school. They have one aide. They just started a self-contained classroom and hired a brand new teacher for that program – excellent! But that doesn’t help those kids who are higher functioning, and need adult supports in the classroom like my son.

The Boy and I met with his teacher at the school yesterday – on the holiday weekend. She spent the day there working on setting up schedules and supports for my son – how could we not go in to help? She still doesn’t quite get it, but she’s trying. I can’t ask much more from her.

But you had better believe I won’t stop asking those with hiring power.

I Spoke Too Soon

Posted on August 30, 2013 by simpleijustdo

The second day of school, I was working with The Man, helping him finish an interior painting project because I have not much else going on right now. Mid-morning, I got a phone call from The Boy’s school.

It was The Boy’s special ed teacher, calling because he was refusing to do his work… a student interest inventory in math. I told her he had done one for homework, and logically, may not want to do the same thing all over again. After we hung up, I felt a ball of oh-no-did-she-really-just-call-me-about-something-she-should-totally-be-able-to-handle form in my stomach. I felt like I may have been really wrong to feel relived last week.

She called later that evening sounding a bit panicked, listing her concerns:

There was an unplanned fire “drill” on the first day (something was smoking in the kitchen), and his teachers were concerned about his safety during the drill, because he was pacing.
He left the classroom at one point during the day, without permission.
His social studies teacher thinks it isn’t beneficial for him to be in her class because he is not doing the work, and should go to the resource room for that class.
He draws all the time and is not following instructions.

These were my thoughts that coalesced that evening at the conclusion of the phone call…

There was an unplanned fire drill and he didn’t freak out, have a meltdown, or run for the hills. He paced. That’s clearly a win.
He left the classroom without permission only once. Another win.
He isn’t doing the work in social studies on the second day of school. And?… He didn’t have ESY this year, this is par for the course!
He draws all the time in class, and isn’t following instructions… Welcome to my world.

I know not all kids with autism are alike, but I would expect experienced educators to have a bit more of an understanding of the common obstacles to learning for students with autism. I did provide multiple copies of his IEP/Testing packet that includes a rather extensive narrative from his previous teacher about how to get him to participate and do work. The autism specialist, his special ed teacher and I did meet last week, when I talked at length about these things.

You have to have some competency, and if you don’t, you have to use the resources available to you, before you call me in the middle of class asking what you should do.

I didn’t make any friends when I emailed all and sundry in the special ed department and administration stating that he needs an aide, and only has one in one of his general ed classes. Because of that email, though, the county autism specialist spent a day with The Boy and his special ed teacher, and gave her plenty of strategies to use. Since then, I’ve been trying to smooth things over, but this is not going to be easy. And they are going to get quite used to my face, voice, and the “ping!” of my emails…

Teacher Appreciation

Posted on August 27, 2013 by simpleijustdo

If you weren’t aware, this week is teacher appreciation week. And I have a few things to say about teachers – a few blog posts-worth. I’ll start with this…

Teachers work hard. I know because I am one. I also know because I watch others do it, and because I know my own son. I remember my friends as students from my own time in school, and I have been immersed in the culture of education for the past 33 years. I have also come to realize that teaching is one of the most difficult gigs out there. I have only recently learned this from speaking to colleagues who have worked in other sectors before teaching (and some after teaching, as well). And I can tell you that it has only gotten harder as the years have gone by.

Teachers, lately, have started verbalizing how difficult the job is, primarily because the demands have increased while the rewards have decreased. And there has been considerable backlash. No one goes into teaching because they get summers off (because we don’t, really) and will make loads of money, but neither should teachers qualify for public assistance, yet they do. Neither should they have their names printed in the local paper, labeled “ineffective” based on their students’ test scores, yet they do. Teachers are sometimes expected to produce miracles, and when they don’t they are vilified.

I consider myself a good teacher, and I don’t think it’s conceited to say so. One knows when one is good at one’s job. Notice I didn’t say “great”. But over my career, I have been called a racist, a “favoritist”, I have had countless parents berate me over the phone, swear at me, and question me on why I didn’t let her daughter fill out her birthday invitations in class, or why I was upset that their son threw pencils at my office door.

Those aren’t typical days, but increasingly I am incredulous at the things we deal with, from all sides. It’s a really hard job. And parents who really know their children usually get it. It’s too bad so many don’t have a clue who their own children are (“My son doesn’t lie!”).

So take a moment this week, and think about the people who have taught you, and the people who are teaching the children of today. Send them good thoughts and/or prayers that they will continue to have the strength to do the job they do, because that’s what they really need, so much more than the trinkets from the dollar store, and the cookies. They need your support in the classroom, in the community, and at the polls. They sacrifice so much and work so hard for our kids, and will never be appreciated enough for doing so.

Just a Parent Now…

Posted on August 27, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Now that I am “just a parent” as opposed to a teacher/parent, I thought I would re-post a post I wrote in the spring during teacher appreciation week. Especially because we are starting at a new school, and a new level of school, I have questions. LOTS of questions. And I have this impatient need to get answers quickly. I have decided to reign myself in, because I remember the first week of school, and The Boy’s teachers could use one less email from me this week if I don’t really need the answer today.

First Day

Posted on August 26, 2013 by simpleijustdo

The backpack is packed, and the clothes sorter is full. The new fake glasses have had their lenses popped out. New shoes, men’s size 8, have been purchased, and as far as I can tell, we are as ready for The Boy’s first day of 6th grade, first day at a new school, as we will ever be. I know what time I want to leave tomorrow morning down to the minute, and I know the times for everything on our agenda up to that point. And I know what time to be at the school for pickup to avoid traffic in the parking lot.

I just don’t know what will happen in between drop-off and pickup.

I hope it’s a bunch of patient people, friendly faces, compassion, competence, and good experiences.

Good luck to all the students and teachers heading back to school, and to the helpless but hopeful parents left behind!

The Boy’s self portrait

Gearing up for Middle School

Posted on August 21, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I met with The Boy’s special education teacher yesterday, who had just been handed his “file” a few hours previous to the meeting, and the county autism specialist who has 16 schools-worth of students on her caseload. There are two special ed teachers at his school, and I had been told that The Boy would probably be assigned to the other, and he indeed had until a few hours before the meeting. I can’t say exactly why, but after looking at their info on the school website, I was secretly pleased about the last minute switch. Needless to say she hadn’t had any time to review his file, and come to find out, it didn’t have the copy of the IEP and testing that I had sent to the county autism specialist in it anyway…

So we talked about The Boy, about his strengths and areas of struggle, about what motivates him and what sets him off. We talked about the similarities between the programs in our new state and our previous state, and the types of accommodations that could be made for him within his school day. We talked about for which subjects inclusion was going to work, and for which he would need to be pulled out to the resource room. We talked about computers, band, and lunch…

The autism consultant seemed overconfident, and the special ed teacher seemed overwhelmed (she was missing a portion of her own teachers’ meeting to meet with me), but both seemed receptive and open.

And I am, too.

I know that our new state’s education system ranks perilously near the bottom. I knew that walking in. And when I pulled out the work samples I had brought with me, they asked, “Are there rubrics on all of these? We don’t use those here. Do they help him?” I almost stumbled over my bottom lip, and I hope my incredulity didn’t show on my face as much as I felt it inside. You see, I was taught from about day one in ED101 how to develop rubrics for every assignment, a way to clearly communicate your expectations for students. And that was 20 years ago. This county (and I’m assuming state) doesn’t even use them, probably hasn’t ever been trained in them, and it was a sucker-punch reminder that we are in one of those states, the ones with piss-poor funding and even crappier respect for its teachers, those teachers who haven’t gotten a raise in six years and are prit-near the bottom of the list when it comes to teacher pay, too…

But I also know that all the research says that the teacher has the most influence on how well a student does in school. And in my son’s case, that will be his special ed teacher, making sure his accommodations are in place, remediating when necessary, building that long-term relationship and trust. In this meeting, I witnessed how far behind this state is, but I also witnessed how willing his teacher is to be his everything while still pushing him as far as he can go. I know that, between the two of us, he’s going to be OK, and that’s a relief.

First Contact: Middle School

Posted on August 13, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Today, we met with the principal at The Boy’s new school.

I went in knowing that they don’t have all of the programs and supports that his previous school had, but hoping to get a feel for the size of the classes and the flexibility they have to accommodate The Boy’s needs. We were also hoping to get a peek at the school so The Boy could become a little familiar – the more of those before school actually starts, the better!

Tomlinson Middle School New General Classroom

(not The Boy’s real classroom)

I was very pleasantly surprised. Our new principal (besides being an old friend of The Man) was very personable, and very open about their programs. He was very reassuring and informative about the various ways they can meet The Boy’s needs. And as I very well know, the principal’s attitude sets the tone for the staff. Having someone as caring and open as this man in our corner reassures me a great deal.

We spoke about placements, and what worked at The Boy’s previous school. We talked about class size (Only 70 6th graders in the whole class!) and personnel. We talked about The Boy’s interests and motivators, and what exploratory classes he might be interested in. And The Boy seemed very happy to meet this nice principal. This man doesn’t know it yet, but The Boy cares a great deal about the person in the principal position: what he thinks, and how he enforces the rules in his school.

All in all, I feel more hopeful than I did before. Hopeful that this just might work, and The Boy may thrive in this environment, too, even though it is so different.

Why I Love Field Day

Posted on June 7, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Most teachers aren’t very fond of field day. In fact, in my district it was even the source of a fierce battle about prep time awhile back. But I love it. At least I love it when my kid has it.

His field day was last week. I think he even chose a special “athletic-themed” outfit for that day, choosing to wear his T-shirt from the special needs baseball camp he has been to the past two summers. It doesn’t hurt that he loves his gym teacher, and wants to be one when he grows up.

His school gives each kid a long ticket-type thing that lists the various activities, that get punched as they visit the stations, and they can also be recognized on the ticket for showing good sportsmanship (or having an “oops!” moment, but The Boy has never earned an “oops!” he is proud to tell me).

Here’s why I love it so much: I often have no clue about what happens at school, because he just chooses not to tell me (thank goodness his ASD teacher sends home a daily communication log to let me know about highlights, or I’d be completely in the dark!). But on field day, we have a nice long conversation. When I pick The Boy up from Kids Club, and with the ticket in hand, I ask him about each one with a punch next to it. I ask him to explain how it works, and whether or not he liked it (he always likes them all). And he does tell me — at length! I have a guide that tells me what to ask him about his day, and I do, and he responds. That’s a big thing for us. And I enjoy it a great deal.

Moving On

Posted on May 10, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I’ve worked in the same place for twelve years. And although I have had other jobs, even within this career, I have always been a teacher. That will end in June, and it’s scary yet liberating, unfathomable yet exciting. I shouldn’t necessarily say that I will not be teaching – I should qualify it with, “in the public schools”. I am actually quite hopeful that I will continue teaching in some capacity, whether it is tutoring, private lessons, community college, or in some other area. I mean, let’s face it — I’m not going to become an accountant, a cage fighter, or an astronaut. I do this well enough, that I feel like I can transition my experience and skills into something similar if not the same.

One of Gardner’s multiple intelligences is Intrapersonal Intelligence which has to do with knowing and understanding yourself — I have always scored very highly in this area on those tests, probably from being an only child, with no one to analyze except myself. I really think about my own emotions and reactions, and try to learn from myself on a constant basis. I have been monitoring my feelings toward this slew of big change heading our way, and as the day gets closer, I have noticed a few things I will miss, for sure. But mostly, I am ready. Ready to be doing something else. Ready to reactivate and rededicate my brain to new and different ventures.

Today, I received news that would have driven me insane – news about coming changes to my current position. Almost simultaneously, I received news about a possible job prospect where I’m headed, one that is exactly the type of thing I was looking for. And I thought, “How serendipitous that I receive both pieces of news on the same day!” I could have headed down the negative path, worrying about what I’m now thinking of as “my old job”, but instead, I’m clearly thinking and moving toward this positive path, the path of my future. I see that as even more proof that I’m ready.