Paint Chips

The Man and I have both been trying to get The Boy to do a little more around the house. We finally completed several of the Independence Challenge prompts, getting The Boy to plan a meal that he would make for us (pizza, what else!), go grocery shopping for supplies, follow the directions, prep the ingredients, and cook the meal. But it took a lot of prompting.

While at the new house the other day, The Man was working on getting The Boy to water the newly planted sod. He needed him to stand there and soak the same area for a couple of minutes, and even that was difficult for The Boy to attend to for too long.

It’s a struggle, and I often worry about his future in moments like these. Will he have the patience to follow directions at a job? Will he be able to work independently without someone hovering, saying “No, it needs a few more minutes of soaking”?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/vanhoosear/24787619731/in/photolist-DLp2KZ-5xuioL-4eT3U-4W8ov6-cAxrbA-attWhH-97iCs8-ny7zGA-h4EMTf-aiF3Gc-c5aE2A-aC675a-6oE9kA-6Rg68S-bwT7eM-9E1W1R-8AnZD8-ftHg8g-pzSyRq-aC67kP-46FHiq-6fAwKJ-6Rc33V-uVWLG-97gpEp-4W8oHK-qs84Wn-7YNfA6-dLSzms-aCUMBY-mSAkXk-ecdUN2-c9gPfo-95seiy-4QsLC7-9ijb8D-atJ7Md-dUNmfn-9vu83H-61zeUH-qfXTXe-8cmoop-cyjKzy-7PKT9S-7di6cE-9vG7Jo-qGF3v-8FPySB-6Rc3Jr-8ivZMh

Paint Samples by Todd Van Hoosear

We are in the midst of painting the interiors of the new house, and struggled to find the right color, buying five $4 samples before we found the right one. Many trips to the home improvement store, sometimes with The Boy, but often without. We stopped after I picked him up from Grammy’s one night to get a fresh batch of paint chips for possible colors, after the one we had thought would be perfect was much too yellow. I was trying to be quick because we had groceries in the car and it was hot outside. Suddenly, I looked over at The Boy, and realized he was sorting the paint chips into the right slots and straightening them. No one had asked him to do it. He saw that it was kind of a mess, and he felt compelled to bring into some semblance of order.

It gave me hope. I’ll never have a definite answer to my questions about his future until the future becomes the present. But moments like this allow me to see the possibilities, and that’s enough for now.

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Lost in the Shuffle

A lineup The Boy had me capture at camp

A lineup The Boy had me capture at camp

The Man and I are both feeling like The Boy is suffering from a lack of attention, lately.  We’re trying to compensate, but if you think about it, we needed him rather out-of-the-way for the move and the unpacking, and now the wedding is upon us.  The Boy has rolled with everything relatively well, although his summer day camp turned out to be more different than his previous ESY program than he thought was manageable — we’re still working on it.  Upset by the startling lack of computers at the camp, he was mollified a bit by the introduction of his own netbook at home on which he can make PowerPoints.

And of course, Grammy and Poppy have been amazingly accommodating, letting The Boy hang out at their place, and keeping an eye on him while I run errands as we get the house unpacked and ready for guests this weekend.

But both The Man and I feel as if we’ve made some promises on which we haven’t yet followed through, and we’re feeling a little guilty.  We talked about a new bike when we donated his old one (which was way too small), as well as a new boogie board, and a new “wrestling” mat.  He’s even supposed to get a new Captain-style bed, which The Man will make for him (The Boy likes to call it a “Hidey-hole” bed, because it will have a hiding space underneath), but it hasn’t happened yet.

We try to put it in perspective, and he hasn’t been complaining, but…  Those nagging feelings of guilt.  The Man and I are both people to whom a promise is no small thing, and we will follow through.  In the meantime, we have to make sure to spend time with him (even when he just wants to hole up in room with an electronic device).  Luckily, he’s been a great sport, and luckily spending time with him is something we can definitely do right now.