The Angry Ex: Personal Attacks

The ex hasn’t paid child support since November.  I know how the system works, and at the two month mark, I called our state system and asked what we could do.  The lady on the phone initiated action, and told me to expect notification of the action in the mail in four to six weeks.  In the meantime, the promises from the ex rolled in, explaining that he was supposed to get his tax refund, so I should see the full amount owed in the account as of this Friday (and to let him know when it posted).  And then it was, OK, it should be in there this Friday.  And then there was no text or phone call for a couple of weeks (and, funny enough, no money, either!).

Today, a payment of $100 showed as being posted.  I admit I poked the bear, but sometimes I have to tell it like it is.  I texted him, “So, not the full amount, huh?”  I just get tired of the incessant lies, and he did ask me to report about what was posted…

What came next was a barrage of personal attacks and excuses, trying to explain the various payments he claims to have made, and asking me if his girlfriend’s kids should suffer so that I could be more comfortable.  You know one of those “1 of 3” texts.

Oh, I was tempted to respond in kind, but instead, I stuck with the facts.  I reported to him that the money he said he had deposited hadn’t posted, and that we had only seen $100 on our end.

He retorted with even more personal attacks and excuses, and I didn’t respond (but I did take a screenshot of the texts!).

You see, even though the personal attacks were directed at me, they weren’t about me.  He has anger issues, he enjoys conflict, and is quick to blame anyone else besides himself for his situation.  This time it was his girlfriend’s car troubles.  Next time it will be something (or someone) else.  In any case, it’s not my problem.  He has a financial responsibility to his son, and that’s not going to go away.

And I got my copy of the notification of action taken against him today.  I’m so glad I’m not alone in holding him responsible.


12 thoughts on “The Angry Ex: Personal Attacks

  1. I have one of those exes too. Or rather my kids have one of those ‘fathers’ too. He pays support but in his eyes that makes him the worlds best dad. He lacks in everything else. And he has an issue of never taking the blame on his own actions. It’s ALWAYS someone elses fault as well. Sigh. It gets real old real fast. Keep tabs on everything he owes and promises he makes, and keep tabs on his short comings…they might help you in the end.

    It’s awe inspiring some days to realize that such a wonderful thing came out of such a terrible mistake. hahaha Keep truckin’ he’ll get his in the end, whether it’s no relationship with an amazing human being or the law steps in. Either way, when he eventually wants your son in his life, the boy will have long figured out his dad. 😦

  2. Couldn’t you get it garnished from his wages? Then you wouldn’t have to wait for him to send it to you. That’s what I did, and it cuts down on a lot of frustration.

  3. It never ceases to amaze me how some men think that paying child support makes the mother more comfortable! It’s for THEIR CHILD! I’m sorry you have to put up with this. I’m sure it makes life very aggravating at times. I hope you see the full amount soon!

  4. Pingback: The Other Part of Our Story: The Final Installment | Simple. I Just Do.

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