The Boy had his biggest meltdown of the school year on Wednesday. He has taken to leaving the classroom without permission, and had been warned repeatedly that he must ask before he leaves the room. He snuck out again, and a consequence was given – no wii on Fun Friday. And then holy hell broke loose. Luckily, he was able to reign it in while still at school, but as so often happens, by the time he got home, the wound had re-opened, and I was in the thick of it.
There he sat on the couch, trying to convince me that he had lost privileges because he was using “poor” language, and that he should lose wii at home, as well. Well, darnit, I don’t give double whammys, and a consequence at school was all he was gonna earn. His response? Start throwing things on the floor, among other random acts of defiance to goad me into giving him a consequence. What??
All the while, he was getting ramped up, so that I had to get him on the couch and give him some deep pressure (read: lay on top of him), to get him to calm down. Usually this works. Wednesday, it didn’t. He was like a wild animal, eyes darting everywhere, refusing to calm. I couldn’t do anymore, so I ignored what I could, hoping that without an audience, it would fizzle. He got more drastic, and started targeting things he knew would upset me, trying to take the chain off my bike, and pressing the lock on my bedroom door and then shutting it from the outside (a straightened old-fashioned clothes hanger works wonders, in case you didn’t know).
I posted on facebook, asking for good thoughts. Fantastic Babysitter texted me, asking what she could do. She asked me to use her as an incentive. If he could get it together AND have a good day at school for the next two days, she would come and pick him up this weekend to do something fun. And it worked like magic. Another trick for my bag, thanks to our fantastic support network, and one of our loudest cheerleaders.
It continued to work like magic, and The Boy had a fabulous
Thursday and an awesome Friday, earning a 91% on his social studies test, and a 19/20 on his spelling test. Lots and lots of asking permission after being prompted, and even beginning to ask without being prompted.
So, what did I learn (like I didn’t know this already)?
- you are not alone
- you have help if you just ask
- your kid will continue to amaze you, even if he is on your very last nerve
Maybe I’ll write a song, so that I can sing it to myself in the thick of it, because it’s hard to remember just then.