As a single mom, holidays are either awesome, or just bearable.  My first Christmas without The Boy was a nightmare.  I cried.  A lot.  I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts, so I drove 14 hours straight to my parents house.  Over the years, I have gotten somewhat more used to The Boy not being with me on the actual holiday, but it still feels a bit empty, a bit like going through the motions.

His dad actually following through on the visitation schedule has become less and less of a sure thing, or even a remote possibility, so I have had The Boy for every holiday this year (not counting Valentine’s Day), but probably will not have him again for Christmas.  Maybe.

But Halloween is a different story.  I always have Halloween.  Halloween I don’t have to give up anything.  I get to take my kid around to the neighbors and watch him do his thing, listening to the comments about his neat-o costume, catching the big smile from The Boy before going to the next house, and trying to keep up with him racing down the street.  I also get to pass out the candy when we return, giving big handfuls to the kids with the less fancy costumes, and catching that all-too-rare feeling of belonging to a real neighborhood, as they used to be, back in the day.  Most parents divvy up these duties (and the corresponding memories), but I don’t have to, and I love it.

Have a fantastic Halloween, chase away those bad spirits, and remember this one’s for the kids!