As a single mom, holidays are either awesome, or just bearable. My first Christmas without The Boy was a nightmare. I cried. A lot. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts, so I drove 14 hours straight to my parents house. Over the years, I have gotten somewhat more used to The Boy not being with me on the actual holiday, but it still feels a bit empty, a bit like going through the motions.
His dad actually following through on the visitation schedule has become less and less of a sure thing, or even a remote possibility, so I have had The Boy for every holiday this year (not counting Valentine’s Day), but probably will not have him again for Christmas. Maybe.
But Halloween is a different story. I always have Halloween. Halloween I don’t have to give up anything. I get to take my kid around to the neighbors and watch him do his thing, listening to the comments about his neat-o costume, catching the big smile from The Boy before going to the next house, and trying to keep up with him racing down the street. I also get to pass out the candy when we return, giving big handfuls to the kids with the less fancy costumes, and catching that all-too-rare feeling of belonging to a real neighborhood, as they used to be, back in the day. Most parents divvy up these duties (and the corresponding memories), but I don’t have to, and I love it.
Have a fantastic Halloween, chase away those bad spirits, and remember this one’s for the kids!