Rigidity Again, but Better

A few weeks ago, I wrote about having my own sort of meltdown when we had a two-hour delay for school for no apparent reason. I resolved at that time not to get stuck again, and the next time this happened, I would stick to my normal routine of getting up at 6am to get myself ready.

It happened again yesterday morning, and I think the fact that the delay was utterly ridiculous added fuel to my fire. But that is another blog post… I did what I had resolved to do, and woke up at 6am, got myself ready. I still had a little bit of a time crunch – I’m really not sure how – but the process of getting everyone ready was much smoother.

BETTERMORNINGSAt one point, I was putting together The Boy’s lunch, and The Man stood in the kitchen, a little warily, I suppose, and asked if there was anything he could do. I told him no. And I realized I needed to have a yes answer to that question. I need to allow him to help me when it gets down to it. I was a single mom for so long that I get into that mode sometimes, that I-am-fierce-I-can-do-it-all-on-my-own-and-no-one-can-stop-me mode. But I’m not all on my own. And it’s OK to ask for help. It might take a little training for everyone involved, but it would be better for everyone involved if everything didn’t fall on me in the morning.

And another big part of that is that The Boy can do some, too. So much of what I do for him is just routine left over from when he was eight years old. Now he is fourteen, and much more capable of handling responsibilities. I need to step back and let him.

So, I guess it’s time for a morning training plan. I’ll get that on my list of things to do, and I’ll get back to you and let you know how it goes. 😉

Advertisements

My Rigidity

Routines are key in an autism household. If The Boy knows what to expect, we avoid confusion and meltdowns. But it’s a fine line, and you have to feather in some opportunities to learn how to be flexible. Because that’s real life.

Nothing new there.

As I get older, however, I’m finding that I am becoming more rigid. That my anxiety dramatically increases when the routine is disrupted. We had a two hour delay for no apparent reason last week, as none of the east coast brouhaha was headed our way. But I sort of flipped out a little. That meant I had to get two people ready and out the door at the same time – something I used to do with aplomb, but now is not part of our routine. I couldn’t even wrap my brain around it, and was in quite a state until we were out the door. The Boy? He was just fine, of course.

Is it age? Are the routines we have becoming too ingrained? Have I rid my life of so much stress that I can’t handle even a little anymore?

I’m not sure. It can be unsettling, though. And I’m not sure how to “fix” it. 

If you’ve experienced something like this, or have any thoughts, please share. I’m listening.