So much has been new and different since our move to the South. Right now I am dealing with a job that I used to love turning into a job that I absolutely dread going to each morning. Suffice it to say that I am experiencing things at work that I have never encountered at a place of business, and it is mind-boggling the amount of drama, backbiting, and just plain nonsense that occurs daily.
So I have begun the job search again, and because I am who I am, I am often preoccupied with thoughts about either my job, or the desperation to get away from it way too much. It’s soul-crushing sometimes – I turned to The Man at one point today and said, “There were a lot of things I didn’t like anymore about teaching when I left, but at least I was respected.”
This is when I am so, so thankful to have The Man in my life. I tend to obsess about my worries, and I let them overtake me physically. I tend to be sedentary anyway, much more so since I took my current job, and when I am stressed, my first instinct is to curl up into a ball and shut the world out, thinking, thinking, and over-thinking the problem. The Man, however, will not let me do this. And it makes me cranky sometimes. “No, I do NOT want to go for a walk right now,” I think as I sulkily get my shoes on and follow him out the door.
But it helps.
It helps to be outside, with my boys, looking at the houses in the neighborhood, dreaming about what our next one will look like, making jokes, feeling the warm air, and enjoying the sunshine. Enjoying real life, as opposed to stewing in the what-ifs.
I can rely on him to dose me with the perspective that I need to get over the toxic thought cycle. And I’m so thankful.