Getting Tougher Every Day

alarm clock, bought from IKEA

One would think it would get easier, knowing we are so close to being done with the school year, and so close to being together with The Man for keeps.  One would think that, wouldn’t one?  But it doesn’t.  At least not for me.  It’s getting tougher.  My patience is thinner for the same old, same old.  I get lonely quicker and easier.  It’s getting tougher to parent solo.

I suppose that means I really am ready for a change (or two, or sixteen).  And I suppose that means I’m going to have to work harder this spring to maintain my patience, keep busy, and to be a tough mother.  Along with working harder, I’ll have to make sure to get some breaks in there, too (pencil myself in, if necessary!).  A massage here, an evening with friends there.  And fun stuff with The Boy.  Definitely that.  A last hurrah of sorts for all of our favorite hangouts up here (our closest Target will be 45 minutes away, and the closest IKEA will be 6 hours away [sob!]).

14 weeks…

All Wrong

I just realized I did this all wrong.  I mentioned before about the day I have to drive away being the worst. And I let myself be a baby and cry all I want.  That day is today.  And I should’ve pampered myself a little.  I should have reserved a little nicer room, something to take the sting out of this awful, awful feeling and the tears that pop up at every little thing.

But tomorrow will be better.  I will get The Boy back after two weeks (TWO WEEKS!), and I will get to see his smiling face and hear his laugh again.

And as The Man has reminded me several times today (he always calls me a few times on this day, I think to try to cheer me up), there are only about five months until we don’t have to do this anymore.  Which is really something good, because this gets so much harder every single time.

So tonight I will watch sappy Lifetime and Oxygen movies, do my nails, and hang out in my bathrobe in my hotel room.  Tomorrow, I pick up my little partner and chip away at those last five months.

Hindsight