The Caretakers

My dad had a stroke in the wee hours of New Year’s Day, and thankfully, as mom put it, I didn’t have to hop on a plane with an infant this time. It was still a series of trying, worrying days. Dad has recovered quite well, but is definitely requiring more care than before.

Poppy and The Boy

This time, I stepped up to make some phone calls and communicate with family. Invariably, it was a woman on the other end of the phone, as we are caretakers by nature. But for each generation, for each branch of a family, it tends to fall on one person’s shoulders. I spoke to my cousin, and my aunt, and before them it would have been my Aunt Mickey, and my Great Aunt Rosie. There are those in whose arms the rest of us seek comfort and care.

I am already a caretaker, and have been since the minute my son was born. I became an even stronger one the day he was diagnosed with autism. I knew when I married a man 17 years my senior that someday I would be his caretaker, and being an only child, I know that I will be taking that role with both of my parents, as well. This is not being a martyr, this is not being a nurse – I’ve already warned all and sundry that I will not do diapers again. I’ve done my time. This is being a steward for the care of others when they are not very able to do it for themselves, and I take this transitioning role on with open arms, a full heart, and a laser-sharp mind, honed by many years already dealing with hospitals, therapists, and educators.

There’s no one more qualified, ready, and willing.

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Are you a caretaker? What insights and advice can you share in the comments?

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Did You Know? I Turned the Big 4-0…

And it wasn’t easy.  40 was tough for me to celebrate because it somehow seems so adult, so “sunset years,” and I still don’t feel like an adult, let alone middle-aged.  Now, this happened in October, so why am I wiring about it now?  Sometimes it takes things awhile to process – go figure!

  • When my mom was this age, she had a six year old.  How in the hell she did that, I will never know, because if I had to be chasing around a first grader right now?… I just don’t know…
  • When my grandpa was this age, my dad wasn’t even born yet.  Different times back then, but still… YIKES.
  • The Boy is now a teenager (technically, and physically.  Even a little mentally, too).  He will have turned 20 by the time I “graduate” to the next decade… YIKES.
  • The Man will be in his 60s by that same time… YIKES.
  • Half a lifetime ago, I was in college.
  • I have been a mom for as long as I was in public school.

All of this adds up to me feeling much more mortal, and it’s not an easy feeling. Couple that with feeling more aches and pains than I used to, an amazing ability to put on weight, and getting tired more easily, and I wonder sometimes how much longer I have.

But The Man is happy that, at least for the next few years, we are in neighboring decades.  And when I’m with him, I don’t worry too much about how old I am. 🙂