Non-Warrior Pose

I’ve been in Warrior Mom mode since yesterday, sending emails to the school, rapid-fire (pew, pew, pew!), making phone calls to the county social services department to make sense of the mailings they sent in the wrong order, spending over an hour to modify an assignment for The Boy to do last night, and making an executive decision to skip Tuba practice as he fell asleep while doing said assignment.

And then the special soup I bought for dinner was gross, so I basically had cheese and crackers for my evening meal.  And I had to wait for the boys to use the microwave for their own dinners, and mine was last and turned out to be yucky anyway.

And the ex emailed with more promises to call later this week (yeah, right).

And then the cop directing traffic this morning looked at me funny…

and I burst into tears.

I sent another email this morning, and had planned to do some medical legwork since I didn’t get anyone from the county to answer my questions yesterday.  But I’m thinking I may just not.

I may just take a day to not fight the world.

I may do some yoga, may attempt to draw some more Zentangles.

I think I need to heed my own tears, spend some time in the sun, stop communicating with the sources of my frustrations, breathe, cry if necessary, but slow down and take a day with no anger or fear guiding my actions.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Golden Gate Tea Garden

We Need to Care More About Mental Health Care, Starting in the Schools

I was just watching some commentary on the Navy Yard Shootings that occurred a short time ago, and indeed how mundane these mass shootings are seeming.  No one even appeared to take notice of this last one, and that is really scary.

I’m not going to get into a debate about guns.

But I am going to get on my soapbox for a minute about something I feel is related.

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

The school where I used to work has one counselor and one social worker for 900 children.  The school where my son is enrolled now has one counselor for 300 children, and no social worker.  (And guess who is often in charge of all the standardized testing in the school?  How much counseling do you think they get done with that on their plate??)  You see, these positions are often the first to get cut or reduced, often to preserve the teaching staff.  And while I don’t disagree that teachers are important, I have seen the children walking through our school doors over the past 20 years.  I have seen how aggressive, how damaged, how out-of-control they have become.  And I have spoken with the parents, the ones who when you meet them, cause you to say, “Now I understand.”

Today’s kids are dealing with a lot.  They are exposed to so much more than in years past, and too often, parents are not on top of it, neither to control what they are watching, hearing, experiencing, nor to help them process that information.  I don’t know if bullying has increased over the years, but I do know that most kids can be mean, and when I say mean, I mean MEAN.  That’s a lot for anyone to deal with.  And then if you don’t have a perfect home-life…

Mental health in this country has always been taboo.  Unfortunately, we are telling our kids that it isn’t that important through underfunding the resources that they need to help them be of healthy mind.  And they are left to deal with the world on their own terms, with virtually no help.

I’m not suggesting that this is a cause of these mass shootings that have become so common, but our attitudes toward mental health don’t seem to have changed, even with the evidence staring us in the face.  And support for our children and their mental health should not be an afterthought, only provided when there is enough in the budget.  Our actions speak loudly to those kids, and right now we are telling them to suck it up and deal.  That’s not good enough.

Filling the Time

I am so completely unused to having time in my day.  When I was a teacher, and a working single mom, coming home and being able to sit down was a treat.  Now I’m much more of a homemaker, something I never envisioned myself doing, but I enjoy nonetheless.  I just wish it paid better 😉  I shop for groceries, do laundry (including the folding!), clean things, etc.  And I still have time left over.  I’m really hoping I can pick up some more tutoring students, and that there is so much interest in my classes at Michaels that I have to schedule more… but until that happens, I have a lot of time on my hands.

But I don’t like being idle.

I’m not the type to watch the afternoon “shows”, and there’s only so much Good Morning America one person can take.

I’ve decided to take some of my hobbies to the next level, possibly.

  • I’m going to use my camera more, really get to know the settings again, so I can confidently have my way with a camera, and maybe, just maybe open up an Etsy shop.  I’ve sent a few of my shots to a professional printer who will make some free prints and send them back to me so I can check out the printing quality, and we’ll go from there.
  • I’m thinking about doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).  I’ve been told a few times that I should write a book, and since November is right around the corner, and I have nothing else pressing…  Why not?
  • I’ve been checking out Zentangles, and I’m intrigued.  I’ve tried it out, and it is very, very soothing.  I looked into it because I thought it might help me with some of my demos at Michaels, but this may have income potential, as well.
  • And I keep thinking about taking this little blog to the next level, transferring to wordpress.org, and selling some ad space, too.

The best part of all this, is that it helps me to feel like I’m at least doing something that could earn money some day, and it keeps me occupied, rather than sitting on the couch, watching TV, bothering The Boy’s teachers, and worrying.

Zentangle1

My first attempt at a Zentangle design

How have you been filling your time lately?

The Man, a Cargo Van, and IKEA

The Man and I are traveling this week.  Just an overnighter to help a friend’s daughter move from her parents’ house to a deluxe apartment in the sky in a big city about six hours away from us.  We’ll be traveling by cargo van, and staying in a moderately priced hotel, with a quick trip to IKEA the following morning, and hopefully returning home with a new couch.

I know, luxurious, right?

It’s no honeymoon, but I know we’ll still have a good time.  We like spending time together, even while working or doing menial tasks, and he actually loves to drive.  I can’t wait to hit IKEA, one of the things I miss most about living up north.  When the closest one is six hours away, you appreciate it so much more.

Ikea_logo.svg

And I can’t wait to have a couch!  We’ve been sitting in chairs every evening, and even though The Man loves his recliner, I’m ready to relax, and stretch out.

We’ll mix a little work with a little fun, and my parents will stay with The Boy – a little changeup to our routine.  Enough to make it interesting, but not too much to throw us off.  This is the life.  🙂

What I’m Up To

  • I have an “orientation” at Michael’s (the craft store) tomorrow to become an official employee, so I can start teaching scrapbooking classes.  The pay isn’t as good as I anticipated, but I hope it will supplement my other part-time job…
  • tutoring!  So far, I kinda sorta have one student (his mom and I have a game plan, but not a schedule yet), and he has autism – yay!  Suffice it to say I could make up to $30 a week all told!!  I know, exciting, right?  But in about three weeks, once I can get my classes set up and advertised, and parents start to realize their kids need help, I should get some more hours at Michael’s, and I should get some more tutoring students.  And it might be enough to make my car payment…
  • I’m waiting to hear back from the county about whether or not we qualify for The Boy to be on the state-provided health insurance program.  Any day now…  Nah.  More like 30 days from now…  Hopefully.
  • I’m going to be volunteering and helping The Boy’s band director out a couple of days a week.  I also told him I could come in when he has a substitute.  He thought I might want to be the substitute, and I assured him I did not.  If I’m a volunteer, I can get away with a lot more…  Heh, heh, heh…
  • I’m trying to work with The Boy’s school to get his services ironed out.  They are NOT right, and I think they have had very limited experience with kids with autism.  More on that in another post, but suffice it to say that right now, I’m reading some books from Wrightslaw about Special Education LawJust in case.
  • I’m helping my hubby with some of his big projects.  We joke that I don’t get paid, but when he makes money, I make money, and this allows him to get done quicker, which means more work, which means more money…  you get the picture.  Plus I get to spend the day with him, which is nice about 99% of the time 😉
  • I get to drop off and pick up my kid right from school – no daycare!  I’ve never been able to do this, and it’s pretty cool.

So in summation, I don’t have a ton of money coming in, and my insurance runs out this week.  But for the first time in about 17 years, I’m able to give thought and energy to my own kid and my own family, and I have the time to do it, and do it well.

at the docks

Kindred Spirits

I’ve mentioned before that The Man knows just about everyone around here.  To be fair, he did grow up here, and has lived here all of his 56 years.  And it’s a small town, so there’s that.  We went down to the main street in our little town the other day, and we ran into some people he knows that run a little kayaking and paddle boarding rental spot on the pier.  And I met Charlotte, who is about the same age as The Man’s daughter, and like me is a former teacher.  In fact, just like me, this is her first year not going back-to-school.

And we giggled like little girls when we found out we had this in common.  Because both of us are so relieved not to go back.

Ahhhhhh...She had five years under her belt, and I had seventeen, but it was too much for both of us.  The demands of the job were not outweighed by the rewards.  She helps out at the kayaking place in the summer and has for years.  I mentioned the day I worked for our friends’ ferry service doing much the same thing, sitting under the shade of an umbrella near the water on a hot summer day, and how everyone thought I would be bored, but I was in heaven.  Happy as a clam.  No million-questions that need to be answered RIGHT NOW, no parent emails, no see-me notes from the principal.  No marathon days when you are just about too tired to turn the key in your ignition let alone make it home without collapsing.  Just sitting in the shade on a beautiful day near the ocean, answering a few questions here and there, and otherwise just chilling out.

Teaching is a calling.  And I was called.  But for my own sanity, I had to unplug the phone.  And the silence is so nice.

Cheers, Charlotte! It was nice to chat with a kindred spirit 🙂

Teacher Appreciation

If you weren’t aware, this week is teacher appreciation week.  And I have a few things to say about teachers – a few blog posts-worth.  I’ll start with this…

My HomeworkTeachers work hard.  I know because I am one.  I also know because I watch others do it, and because I know my own son.  I remember my friends as students from my own time in school, and I have been immersed in the culture of education for the past 33 years.  I have also come to realize that teaching is one of the most difficult gigs out there.  I have only recently learned this from speaking to colleagues who have worked in other sectors before teaching (and some after teaching, as well).  And I can tell you that it has only gotten harder as the years have gone by.

Teachers, lately, have started verbalizing how difficult the job is, primarily because the demands have increased while the rewards have decreased.  And there has been considerable backlash.  No one goes into teaching because they get summers off (because we don’t, really) and will make loads of money, but neither should teachers qualify for public assistance, yet they do.  Neither should they have their names printed in the local paper, labeled “ineffective” based on their students’ test scores, yet they do.  Teachers are sometimes expected to produce miracles, and when they don’t they are vilified.

I consider myself a good teacher, and I don’t think it’s conceited to say so.  One knows when one is good at one’s job.  Notice I didn’t say “great”.  But over my career, I have been called a racist, a “favoritist”, I have had countless parents berate me over the phone, swear at me, and question me on why I didn’t let her daughter fill out her birthday invitations in class, or why I was upset that their son threw pencils at my office door.

Those aren’t typical days, but increasingly I am incredulous at  the things we deal with, from all sides.  It’s a really hard job.  And parents who really know their children usually get it.  It’s too bad so many don’t have a clue who their own children are (“My son doesn’t lie!”).

So take a moment this week, and think about the people who have taught you, and the people who are teaching the children of today.  Send them good thoughts and/or prayers that they will continue to have the strength to do the job they do, because that’s what they really need, so much more than the trinkets from the dollar store, and the cookies.  They need your support in the classroom, in the community, and at the polls.  They sacrifice so much and work so hard for our kids, and will never be appreciated enough for doing so.

Just a Parent Now…

Now that I am “just a parent” as opposed to a teacher/parent, I thought I would re-post a post I wrote in the spring during teacher appreciation week.  Especially because we are starting at a new school, and a new level of school, I have questions.  LOTS of questions.  And I have this impatient need to get answers quickly.  I have decided to reign myself in, because I remember the first week of school, and The Boy’s teachers could use one less email from me this week if I don’t really need the answer today.

 

In One Respect, Still in Limbo

We went to the beach today, a family day.  A gorgeous, sunny, not-too-hot, wonderful day.  And I am so happy I do not have to return up North because school is starting back up again.  I even told The Man how extremely happy I am today… except for not having a job yet.

English: Limbo at Palisades Park

This limbo looks like a lot more fun…

No, I didn’t get the job that I was hoping for, and I took it a lot harder than I expected.  I do have a part-time job teaching scrapbooking at a local craft store.  I haven’t signed any paperwork, but it’s pretty much a done deal.  This kind of part-time, though, will be very few hours, at least at the beginning, and rather low pay.  So I am still looking, and follow up on my other leads.  But I’m not as discouraged as I was late last week.

Because I don’t have anything lined up, I now need to investigate insurance options for The Boy.  I have to determine this week if we qualify for any of the state programs.  If we don’t, I have to start shopping for health insurance, which is a pretty daunting task.

I guess the silver lining is that I have the time to do this, and the time to meet with The Boy’s teachers, and attend his orientation (at 9am in the morning?!), and do this research on health insurance.

Like The Man keeps telling me, I’ll take it day by day. 😉

Opportunity’s Knocking – Don’t Knock It

Sign reading "Please Knock" created ...I’m still unemployed.  I know, “Join the club!”, right?  But I did have a couple of great interviews, and although nothing came of the first, I’m very hopeful about the second one, the one I really want, the one that’s in a completely different field, but feels like it would be challenging enough to engage my brain, use the skills I already have, and could turn into a long term thing…  But I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high.  I know myself too well for that.  I should hear back on that one any day now.

In the meantime, I have some very promising part-time leads.  You may think (and even some days I think), “What in the world could you do with only part-time work?”  But I’m not knocking it yet.  Part-time, minimum-wage work may not be worth my time, but the opportunities I have seem to earn more than that, and even if they don’t, if I can cobble them together, I may just have something.

So I’m hopeful to get this full-time with bennies gig, but if for some reason I should not, it doesn’t mean I have to go back to the drawing board.  I feel like I’m in a pretty decent spot.  I’ll keep you posted 😉

P.S. Also wondering if I should go “pro” and see if this little blog can earn some money…  What do you think?