Routines, Item Attachment, and Flare-ups

We almost didn’t make it to school this morning.

new rubber glassesThe Boy had forgotten his (fake) glasses at Grammy’s house last evening, and wanting to head off a last minute meltdown, I told him as soon as he woke up.  I told him we could get them later that day, and that would be alright wouldn’t it?…  I breathed a sigh of relief when he said OK, but it was premature.

Once he was dressed, and it was time to go, he announced that he wasn’t going to school because he couldn’t go without his glasses.

I cajoled, made deals (and a few threats of consequences), and was finally able to get him out the door, a half-hour late.  He wore a pair of reading glasses instead, and I went to Grammy’s, picked up his (fake) glasses, and took them to school for him.

It’s still frustrating, and there are always those moments of indecision – Do I let him stay home?  Do I let him come with me to Grammy’s to pick them up?  Or do I stick to my guns?  What is the goal here?  Today, I think I made the right choice.  I don’t always, but no one is perfect.

I’m also starting to realize that for whatever reason, the glasses offer comfort to him, and that when he has a “flare-up” like this, it is a form of self-advocacy.  He is telling me that he is not as comfortable going to school without them.  And one of the best things I ever learned about autism is this: Behavior is communication.

 

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