I know I’ve talked a bit here about planning. It’s become a bit trendy nowadays, but I have needed and used a planner since my undergrad days, with rehearsals scheduled thither and yon, and assignments due; as my husband says, “people to see, things to do, and dogs to scratch!”
That said, figuring out how to organize all the parts of my life – it’s still a challenge. I’ve been bullet journalling since November of 2015, and found that it really works for me. I’m much more able to keep track of when things are due, upcoming events, and even tracking how often I do x, y, or z, which can come in very handy when I’m, say, working on a goal to read more, or exercise more, or be a better human being.
Recently, I’ve decided to track my moods, as well as the moods of those in my household, as their moods have an effect on my mood (as I’m sure you’ve experienced), and also because I’m getting to that age where moodiness is part and parcel of being a woman and all of the lovely things we go through that bewilder the men in our lives. I realized tracking “moods” would be an excellent thing to do for The Boy, and would help us spot some triggers. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of setting up a “home base” journal for The Boy: notes from meetings, school schedules, records of emails from him (a strategy he uses to regulate when he is upset at school), “hang-out” dates, progress on our Independence Challenge, and plans for the future. Now that we are tracking work and volunteer hours for his high school program, this journal will be perfect for that, too.
Some planning friends suggested that, ideally, The Boy would do this for himself, to which I replied that just getting him to do homework was like pulling teeth, but I think I can find some common ground by letting him know I’m doing it, and allowing him to see, add or change things as he feels the need.
I found this excellent resource for autism parents of any age that would like to do something similar over at andnextcomesl.com – a site that’s new to me, but looks like a bevy of great resources.
When I get it set up and operational, I’ll make sure to come back and share what’s working, what’s not, and how it’s helping me be a better parent (I hope!) 🙂
I took that worksheet and put it into a digestible format (PowerPoint), and added some possible answers for The Boy to choose. I didn’t send anything in on the “due date” which was Friday. Over the weekend, I sat down briefly with The Boy and the roughly 15 slides with questions about his future. “Hm,” he’d say. “Go to the next one,” and “I haven’t really thought about that before,” were common responses. To summarize, I got nothin’. Monday, I sent in my responses to the parent survey (it is now Tuesday morning, and they are still in his backpack, by the way), and emailed his special ed teacher to explain that he didn’t have much response to the student survey, and it was either because he really doesn’t have any idea, or he’s not comfortable sharing his ideas at this time. Her response was that she had a simpler survey format she could send home. No doubt copied from the same school district… I replied that I didn’t think it was the format, as I had modified that for him, but the content was the issue, and that he really has no response.
It is a front and back sheet with 15 open-ended questions on it. I get that they can’t supply multiple choice answers because they are trying to understand just what it is The Boy wants to do in his future, but really? Is this the best way? They really think that this is even a possibility for someone who is fairly nonverbal? And it’s “due” in three days?
Simple. I Just Do. 