Hostile

Posted on October 25, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Many of The Boy’s teachers have admittedly low exposure to students with autism. We’ve already mentioned the social studies teacher and her issues, several times. One of the teachers who has admitted from day one that he doesn’t know what he’s doing has been The Boy’s band teacher.

Now having been a band teacher, I have been more than willing to help, offering suggestions, explaining things to him, and we have had a pretty good relationship because I know he is trying. We had gotten into a routine of communicating via email, and he would let me know the assignments, and I would send him the practice log.

A few weeks ago, he didn’t let us know that the assignment had changed, and in fact, didn’t email me until after The Boy had taken a test on material he had never practiced. The teacher had realized his mistake, and emailed me with the week’s assignment, and that he would let The Boy re-take the test the following week.

That meant that the following week, we were practicing what the rest of the class had already finished the week before, and started to put The Boy behind the ball in this class.

And now this week, we have taken a different turn. I’ve been emailed several times, with efforts to “document” what the teacher feels is a disciplinary issue, with The Boy “refusing” to play. I explained that we were behind because of the earlier issue, and that we would try to get him caught up as soon as possible. And I continue to get emails, like the one this morning, asking me to “explain a discrepancy”: The Boy is struggling in class with pieces that I indicated on the practice log that he could play without difficulty.

Turns out, after closer inspection, I was using his symbol system wrong, and that in his minus, check, plus system, the check is the highest score… Mea culpa.

But this leaves me to wonder. Is the lack of knowledge of autism leading these teachers to act in this way? To want to kick The Boy out of their classes, or to prove that he “can’t” do what everyone else does? As a former teacher myself, I can’t identify with this, and I don’t understand it. The knowledge of a diagnosis in one of my students immediately caused me to be more compassionate, more flexible, and often spurred me to do my own research on the condition.

I suppose its root is fear. Maybe, with training, these teachers can be led away from their hostile instincts. Or maybe not. In either case, this is what we’re dealing with, and it’s confusing, it hurts, it angers. And I only have so much patience for teachers like this who should never, ever hold a child’s issues against them.

3 Things I’ve Learned from The Boy’s Worst Teacher

Posted on October 11, 2013 by simpleijustdo

If you are a regular reader, you know we’ve been struggling with The Boy’s new school since day one of this school year. They seem to have precious little experience with autism, or even with IEPs, modifications, and accommodations, which cannot be remotely possible, but here we are. I have felt all along that their hearts are basically in the right place, they are just ignorant… with one exception. The Boy’s social studies teacher has repeatedly demonstrated contempt, if not for The Boy himself, then for the extra effort he requires. She is the type of teacher who follows the textbook as if it were a bible, and pushes those 6th graders as if social studies is their only class, and their one true avocation in life. Her assessments have little to do with the content learned, and seem to have been added as an afterthought, possibly when an administrator asked her to expand her resources to other sources than the textbook.

I received a note home from her in the planner, mid-week, that explained that The Boy had been given a modified test, and even with extra time had completed very little of it. OK, Problem Number One: I looked back in his planner, what is supposed to be our primary method of communication between school and home, and there was no mention of a test. I went on this teacher’s website, and there was no mention of a test, I looked back in my emails, and there was NO MENTION OF A TEST. So I emailed the teacher immediately, pointing out that I had no previous knowledge of a test to be given this week, and was there a review sheet? She emailed back the next day, saying she had looked in The Boy’s planner and it had been written at least four times in the last week that there was a test Wednesday… This was an outright lie! I had made a copy of the current page of the planner, because I like to document these notes of hers (this was not the first) that seem to imply she’s doing everything she can and The Boy is being somehow disobedient by not complying. I emailed back to say that her statement was incorrect, that I had made copies of his planner pages, and there was nothing written in the social studies slot in the planner during the last week. She responded, apologized and blamed it on the 11 year-old girl who helps The Boy write things in his planner, saying she had either written it in the wrong spot or had not copied exactly what was on the board.

Can you feel the anger rising in my throat by now?

We’ll get back to the outright lie in a minute.

Problem Number Two: She explained that there had been no review sheet, that the students were supposed to study from their “chapter work,” and that due to personal issues and being out for a few days the previous week, she hadn’t updated her website. Well, The Boy didn’t have any “Chapter 3 work” to study — it had all been turned in. I had requested review sheets from her starting with the first test (this was their third already), so that I could help him prepare and focus for the test, and again she had disregarded The Boy’s needs.

Problem Number Three: “Extended Time” as an accommodation does not mean an extra ten minutes within the same class period, and I explained this to her. I also explained that he is entitled to take his test in another location, have his test read to him, and all of the other testing accommodations that are in his IEP. I asked her if he could bring it home to take it and she didn’t respond. She just keeps giving it to him every class period and expecting him to complete it.

In my opinion, this has gone beyond a teacher “trying” to provide my son with modifications and accommodations. This is now willful ignorance. She has a history of not communicating with me about upcoming tests. With the first, we had one day’s notice, and with the second and third there was no notice at all. And for all three tests, I have seen one review sheet. She has a history of not providing modifications to his assignments, and when I requested more time for him to study before the first test, she refused. And now, not only did she lie to me about there being four notes about this week’s test in The Boy’s planner, she had The Boy and his helper go back and write in the notes after I told her there was nothing in the planner. She got my email, waited until the next day in class, had them write things in the previous week in his planner, and then claimed they had been written there all along.

I have requested a meeting with the principal about this, even though I am hopeful that we won’t have to deal with this too much longer.

What have I learned?

Document everything. I had a feeling I should copy those planner pages the night I wrote my email. Unfortunately, I only copied one. But at least I have that, and I have every email she has ever written which shows this pattern of a lack of communication and a lack of willingness to accommodate my son’s needs.
Don’t assume every teacher has your child’s best interest at heart. It pains me to say this, and I don’t think this is true for 99% of the teachers out there, but I’ve learned this the hard way.
Don’t avoid confrontation about something like this. I could take the easy way out and just bide my time until we can get out of the school, but I know there are other kids with autism in this teacher’s class, and I can only imagine how they and every other kid with an IEP who has ever been in her class have been treated. It’s not right, and she needs to be called on it.

An Awful Weight Lifted

Posted on September 26, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Over the past month, I’ve become quite close, almost best friends, with a feeling I’ve never had to feel before. Because I was always a teacher, and had been for years before The Boy was born, and because (at least where and when I taught) teachers usually had a fairly decent benefits package and fairly decent pay, I didn’t ever carry the heavy weight of worry about providing for my child.

I know how lucky I was, and I knew it then, but I did work hard for that security, and we weren’t always absolutely free from worry on that front. With the ex doing our finances, there was always worry, but there was always the reassurance of another paycheck on the horizon, even if it was already spent. There was also a time when our district slashed our benefits, and all of a sudden, our all-important speech and occupational therapies were no longer covered. It was a struggle, but we managed. We only got sued by a hospital once, so victory for us, I s’pose.

Today, as I walked out of the Department of Social Services office, where a kind lady had explained to me, “Yes, those mailings you received do mean that your son has full Medicaid coverage,” I took one of the deepest breaths I have taken in months.

No matter what happens, he has a roof over his head, and the medical care he needs.

And now, I don’t have to spend any more emotional energy on that heavy worry, and can concentrate on finding a decent job.

The View from the Other Side Is Blurry

Posted on September 19, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I had a post drafted for today, but I had to revise it. I’ve mentioned the struggles we’re having with The Boy’s new school, and how little they seem to know about autism, and how to make modifications and accommodations that are necessary for him to thrive within the general education curriculum. His teachers came to his IEP meeting with that deer-in-headlights look, as if they have never seen a creature like my son before, and had no clue about how to assist him in his learning.

As a teacher, I knew that ineffective teaching existed — I just didn’t really witness it. I taught for over 17 years, and rarely did I work or come into contact with colleagues from whom I wouldn’t want my son to learn. There were strict teachers and lax teachers, friendly teachers and more distant teachers, scattered teachers and organized teachers, but essentially they still knew what they were doing. It was even more rare to come across a teacher who was not good with kids. Even teachers who were not warm and fuzzy were still able to form relationships with kids and treat them fairly and professionally.

I guess that’s why I’m having such a hard time with one of The Boy’s teachers in particular. They all seem a little lost in terms of autism, and a few seem a little scattered in terms of general teaching skills. This one in particular has problems communicating, both with me and The Boy. She assigns a crazy amount of work, even for a neurotypical student. She uses rubrics, but they do not seem to assess knowledge of social studies content, rather the processes by which the content is expressed – for example, there is a public speaking rubric for sharing current events, and a writing rubric for a research project. I don’t know for sure, but I can guess that she is not teaching about public speaking and/or writing in her class, so where are the assessments that give her information on what the students have learned from her?

More importantly in our own case is that she seems to dislike having a student in her room that isn’t “normal”. She decided on the second day of school that The Boy should be placed in the resource room rather than go to her class because he wasn’t “doing the work”. She wrote in his planner last week that he wouldn’t “answer” her. She sent me an email today, saying that The Boy had printed off 43 pages from the internet in the computer lab yesterday and that there is a rule against printing without a teacher’s permission. She has made only one modification since the beginning of the year, giving The Boy a modified review sheet and quiz that she had printed off from a “special needs workbook” published by the textbook publisher, and refused to give him extra time to study as I requested, and which is also an accommodation spelled out in his IEP.

When I got the email about computer lab printing rules today, I could hear my pulse quicken, could feel the blood in my veins heat up, saw my hands clenching into fists involuntarily. I took a breath, and reminded myself not to answer immediately (calm down, Mama Bear – Ha!). After a few minutes, I responded that I would reinforce the printing rule with The Boy when he returned home, but also asked her to please remember that he has a hard time asking for help when he needs it.

And then I sat down to write this post.

And this seemed like even more proof that this woman was not nice, would continue to be a source of frustration and obstruction this school year, and was looking for any excuse to prove that my son can’t.

…

And then she responded to my last email, telling me she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, and that he shared his research project in front of the class by sharing his maps while she read his points of interest, and the children clapped for him. She said it was a successful day for everyone.

…

And all of a sudden, my impressions of her became blurred, and a little bit of hope peeked through.

I can only hope that we will all learn a lot this year.

A ray of hope?…

Reflections on an IEP Meeting

Posted on September 14, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Our IEP meeting was Thursday, and I felt like we accomplished something, but I’m reserved in my enthusiasm… More of a wait-and-see attitude about it all.

The good:

They agreed to implement his IEP as it came from our previous state, to the best of their ability
They agreed that training for the teachers in modifications and accommodations was necessary immediately
The teachers seemed to support his need for an aide
We finally fixed his schedule so that he would no longer have two math classes
They will be adding ASD-specific life skills to his schedule to replace the math
They will be looking for some sort of computer for him to use for assignment
They will begin to actually implement his IEP, and the ASD specialist commented several times that this was overdue

The not-so-good, of the “shake my head” variety:

The teachers kept bringing up common autistic traits, “He won’t talk to me,” or “He won’t do his work, even after being directed”
The principal asked me point-blank, “He won’t verbalize it if he needs something??”
They are going to do more testing, including a psychological and intelligence (IQ) test, even though he was thoroughly evaluated this spring in his old district, simply because the new state requires these other tests
My concerns about organization help and communication were not addressed as specifically as I’d like them to be
They included a note about following his IEP “to the best of their ability”

I think I was heard, I think they have a better idea of what needs to be done, I think I’m not “that woman” anymore. I don’t know to what extent they will follow through on their promises, and they have a great deal to learn about autism in general, and my son, specifically.

I hope we accomplished something. I hope…

Struggling

Posted on September 4, 2013 by simpleijustdo

I’m really struggling here. I have never ever had to worry about what went on at school for The Boy. I knew how lucky I was then, because I read horror stories of what goes on in most school districts, but we were fortunate enough to have a great program, and the absolute best teachers who fought on our side the very few times it was even necessary.

Here, I think I have sent 40 emails in the past week to The Boy’s school personnel. In addition to three meetings.

And the hits just keep coming. There is still no aide, although the county autism specialist sent a TA to the school in the mornings to assist. But only for this week. I had to walk him back into the school yesterday when I found all of the school supplies (you know, from the supply list that they make available in the summer?) still in his backpack — He’d been carrying them since the first day of school and I had asked multiple times for someone to assist him in getting those things into his locker. He still has his PE policies parent-sing-page in his backpack, all filled out, but not getting to its destination, plus several random untitled assignments – not checked, unacknowledged.

Last night, he had written that he had science homework in his planner, but neither what it was nor was it on the correct day. I was clueless, so I emailed the teacher, after checking her website and still being clueless. She responded to explain the assignment, and I responded thank you and we-may-need-some-more-time-on-this. No response. (Mind you, the assignment was to make a list of the characteristics of a science teacher and then draw a rough sketch of a correlating picture, and they will do a final draft of the picture in class, the purpose of which is to supposedly give the teacher a sense of their “work ethic”…)

While checking websites, I checked his social studies teacher’s website. I saw that the “hot dog foldable” had been due yesterday, again no explanation of what that was. I remembered something floating around his backpack that seemed like it fit the bill, so I made sure he completed that last night. I also noticed on her website that they were given a “research project” today. I had no idea what that was, but knew I wouldn’t be able to get any more work out of him last evening, so I let it drop. Then, I actually found the assignment in his binder this morning – it had an explanation and a rubric and everything! The goal was to help foreign visitors understand the “key historic, geographic and economic features of a region” – The Boy’s region was apparently “London”. They were supposed to write up a four day itinerary, and include a map, outlining the route. Got this assignment yesterday, due today.

So on top of my son having needs that aren’t being addressed in class, due to a lack of an aide to help him attend to tasks at hand, he also has needs that aren’t being met in terms of his organizational skills, and no one helping him to keep track of assignments. No one is modifying assignments to my knowledge. And we have a range of assignments from drawing pictures to one-night research projects!

If The Boy didn’t love school so much, I would seriously be considering homeschooling right now. It’s totally not out of the question…

Addendum to My Last Post

Posted on September 3, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Let me assure you that when I wrote my last post, there were several drafts, and I let time pass so that it wasn’t the rant it started out as. The problem here is not his teacher, as it rarely is. Could she have been more proactive? Could she (still) be better using her resources? Yes, and yes.

However.

The real problem is part of a much larger problem with education everywhere in our country. Too often, teachers and students are made to “get by” with what they have. Sometimes fault lies with local administrators and school boards. Sometimes, fault lies with the state and federal governments. It doesn’t really matter. The fact is that we say we care about education in this country, and we just don’t. When millages come up, we vote them down in fear of higher taxes. When politicians run for office, we care only about our own personal hot-button issues and where each candidate stands on those – their records on education are often a secondary consideration (if not further down). Very few people ever attend a school board meeting, let alone parent-teacher conferences.

In my son’s case, there are two special education teachers for about 40 students in the school. They have one aide. They just started a self-contained classroom and hired a brand new teacher for that program – excellent! But that doesn’t help those kids who are higher functioning, and need adult supports in the classroom like my son.

The Boy and I met with his teacher at the school yesterday – on the holiday weekend. She spent the day there working on setting up schedules and supports for my son – how could we not go in to help? She still doesn’t quite get it, but she’s trying. I can’t ask much more from her.

But you had better believe I won’t stop asking those with hiring power.

I Spoke Too Soon

Posted on August 30, 2013 by simpleijustdo

The second day of school, I was working with The Man, helping him finish an interior painting project because I have not much else going on right now. Mid-morning, I got a phone call from The Boy’s school.

It was The Boy’s special ed teacher, calling because he was refusing to do his work… a student interest inventory in math. I told her he had done one for homework, and logically, may not want to do the same thing all over again. After we hung up, I felt a ball of oh-no-did-she-really-just-call-me-about-something-she-should-totally-be-able-to-handle form in my stomach. I felt like I may have been really wrong to feel relived last week.

She called later that evening sounding a bit panicked, listing her concerns:

There was an unplanned fire “drill” on the first day (something was smoking in the kitchen), and his teachers were concerned about his safety during the drill, because he was pacing.
He left the classroom at one point during the day, without permission.
His social studies teacher thinks it isn’t beneficial for him to be in her class because he is not doing the work, and should go to the resource room for that class.
He draws all the time and is not following instructions.

These were my thoughts that coalesced that evening at the conclusion of the phone call…

There was an unplanned fire drill and he didn’t freak out, have a meltdown, or run for the hills. He paced. That’s clearly a win.
He left the classroom without permission only once. Another win.
He isn’t doing the work in social studies on the second day of school. And?… He didn’t have ESY this year, this is par for the course!
He draws all the time in class, and isn’t following instructions… Welcome to my world.

I know not all kids with autism are alike, but I would expect experienced educators to have a bit more of an understanding of the common obstacles to learning for students with autism. I did provide multiple copies of his IEP/Testing packet that includes a rather extensive narrative from his previous teacher about how to get him to participate and do work. The autism specialist, his special ed teacher and I did meet last week, when I talked at length about these things.

You have to have some competency, and if you don’t, you have to use the resources available to you, before you call me in the middle of class asking what you should do.

I didn’t make any friends when I emailed all and sundry in the special ed department and administration stating that he needs an aide, and only has one in one of his general ed classes. Because of that email, though, the county autism specialist spent a day with The Boy and his special ed teacher, and gave her plenty of strategies to use. Since then, I’ve been trying to smooth things over, but this is not going to be easy. And they are going to get quite used to my face, voice, and the “ping!” of my emails…

Teacher Appreciation

Posted on August 27, 2013 by simpleijustdo

If you weren’t aware, this week is teacher appreciation week. And I have a few things to say about teachers – a few blog posts-worth. I’ll start with this…

Teachers work hard. I know because I am one. I also know because I watch others do it, and because I know my own son. I remember my friends as students from my own time in school, and I have been immersed in the culture of education for the past 33 years. I have also come to realize that teaching is one of the most difficult gigs out there. I have only recently learned this from speaking to colleagues who have worked in other sectors before teaching (and some after teaching, as well). And I can tell you that it has only gotten harder as the years have gone by.

Teachers, lately, have started verbalizing how difficult the job is, primarily because the demands have increased while the rewards have decreased. And there has been considerable backlash. No one goes into teaching because they get summers off (because we don’t, really) and will make loads of money, but neither should teachers qualify for public assistance, yet they do. Neither should they have their names printed in the local paper, labeled “ineffective” based on their students’ test scores, yet they do. Teachers are sometimes expected to produce miracles, and when they don’t they are vilified.

I consider myself a good teacher, and I don’t think it’s conceited to say so. One knows when one is good at one’s job. Notice I didn’t say “great”. But over my career, I have been called a racist, a “favoritist”, I have had countless parents berate me over the phone, swear at me, and question me on why I didn’t let her daughter fill out her birthday invitations in class, or why I was upset that their son threw pencils at my office door.

Those aren’t typical days, but increasingly I am incredulous at the things we deal with, from all sides. It’s a really hard job. And parents who really know their children usually get it. It’s too bad so many don’t have a clue who their own children are (“My son doesn’t lie!”).

So take a moment this week, and think about the people who have taught you, and the people who are teaching the children of today. Send them good thoughts and/or prayers that they will continue to have the strength to do the job they do, because that’s what they really need, so much more than the trinkets from the dollar store, and the cookies. They need your support in the classroom, in the community, and at the polls. They sacrifice so much and work so hard for our kids, and will never be appreciated enough for doing so.

Just a Parent Now…

Posted on August 27, 2013 by simpleijustdo

Now that I am “just a parent” as opposed to a teacher/parent, I thought I would re-post a post I wrote in the spring during teacher appreciation week. Especially because we are starting at a new school, and a new level of school, I have questions. LOTS of questions. And I have this impatient need to get answers quickly. I have decided to reign myself in, because I remember the first week of school, and The Boy’s teachers could use one less email from me this week if I don’t really need the answer today.