Why does 14 sound so much bigger and older than 13? I am a proud mom. He is the greatest of kids. He makes me laugh, and amazes me with his cleverness. He is becoming quite the self advocate and … Continue reading
The Man turns another year older today. Last week, he commented, “I’ll be able to collect social security in another 4 years, and you have to wait another 20 plus!” I almost threw the pillow at him. But this is a rare occurrence when our age difference really comes up. OK, it also comes up when we tend to settle on the 70s XM radio station in the car… but besides that. ;)
We’re almost two years married, and past five years together, and the age difference just hasn’t been a big deal like he thought it might be in the beginning. Sure it’s irritating when he gets mistaken for my dad, but I think it’s happened maybe three times in those five years. Like I told him, that won’t happen for too much longer, because men like him seem to stay the same age, almost impossible for a woman.
Mine is young at heart. He doesn’t act his age, by any means, and anyone who knows him will attest to that. And although his body has begun to give inklings of not being what it once was (i.e. after a day of hard, laborious work, he may complain that he isn’t 25 anymore… Nope, you’re not even 52 anymore!), he still runs around with the neighborhood kids, still has wrestling matches on the futon cushion with The Boy, and still surfs for hours on end in the summer. We just hiked the dunes at the state park this morning!
Mine knows himself quite well. He knows how stubborn and pig-headed he can be, and is quick to apologize for it. He knows his “triggers” and can give me a heads up if the kitchen counter is getting too cluttered for him before it becomes an issue. He can read me like a book, too, and knows before I even say anything that I’m upset. Having experience in relationships can be a good thing, if he’s learned his lessons well.
Mine is responsible. I don’t need to worry about him going off half-cocked on someone because he’s angry. I don’t need to worry about bills going unpaid, or cars being repossessed. I know that when he tells me something, it’s the truth. I know that for the first time in a long time, he feels responsible for me and The Boy, too, and that he enjoys that responsibility.
Mine likes to teach me things. It can be irritating, living with someone who is almost always right. But he is, and that just leads me to trust his judgement. He also likes to teach me stuff, and I like to learn, so it’s a win-win.
Mine is experienced. My mom reads this blog, so I won’t go into this too much, but trust me. It’s worth considering an older man just for that. Yes, indeed.
Mine knows how rarely you get a second chance. He’s careful with me because he knows how wrong it can get. He knows how lucky we are to have found each other and to be such a good fit. When you spend a long time being alone, you don’t say things that can’t be unsaid, and you don’t do things that can’t be undone. You cherish the ones you love.
He makes me a better person, and I can only hope I have the same effect on him. There were so many reasons it shouldn’t work between us, with the difference in our ages being one that seemed a big deal five years ago. But we were younger and less experienced then. We’re older and wiser now. ;) Happy Birthday to my one and only Man!
If you’ve been following along, he and I have known each other for years, and I started to crush on him pretty hard after I got divorced. He has also known The Boy for years, and often entertained him when we were on vacation down here with my parents. He even taught him to ride a bike, and has recently succeeded in getting him to stand up on the surfboard while riding a wave in by himself – such a triumph after years of “lessons”!
He was nervous about getting married, but has since settled in, and enjoys marriage now, as do I. Quite simply put, he’s my best friend, I love spending time with him, he makes me laugh, and we are good together.
There is also a considerable age difference between us, which has always bothered him more than it has bothered me. He often wishes I had some grey hairs so people wouldn’t mistake him for my dad (this has only happened a few times, although it is irritating), but I think over time, he has seen that it rarely comes up, and isn’t an issue in the least.
He is a good man, and I am so lucky to have him. And for the next seven months, he is only sixteen years older than me, rather than seventeen. Happy Birthday to The Man, The Only Man For Me!
As The Boy grows, I have these brief feelings of knowing what I’m doing, like I’ve got him figured out and can anticipate whatever may come up with him. And then Life laughs in my face and says, “Are you kidding me? He’s growing which means he’s changing, and you don’t have a clue!”
And I don’t.
He no longer requires toys for birthday and Christmas, which is a GREAT thing, but his electronics have overtaken everything, and if one of them gets damaged (a la an iPad screen) or goes missing for whatever reason, it can’t be replaced. Did I say if one goes missing? Hahahaha. There goes Life laughing at me again. I should have said when one goes missing…
I mentioned recently that his old DS, a gift from his 8th birthday, which had been forgotten in a drawer for a couple of years has recently resurfaced because many of his friends have them down here. Many of the Christmas and birthday presents purchased for him this year are based on that rekindling. And now his DS has gone missing because he has been taking it to school so he can play it in the van on the long, early ride.
He had been warned about taking his electronics to school, but now what? What if it wasn’t misplaced at school or at Grammy’s or in his messy, messy room? What if it was stolen, or “borrowed” by some unscrupulous acquaintance? What do we do?
I haven’t a clue.
Very funny, Life…
Tomorrow is The Boy’s birthday (Just FYI – there will be another birthday related post tomorrow. Birthdays are a big deal). Today’s post is about verbalizing. The Boy is verbal. In fact, if he is speaking about interior dome lights in cars, he is downright verbose. But he is not always verbal about what he wants and needs, nor is he verbose when asked direct questions. This is fairly common with autistic kids. They can tell you every plot point of the latest Disney movie, but ask them to make up a story and you are met with complete silence.
The Boy has always been this way. When he was younger and Webkinz were a thing, he would receive a new one for his birthday or Christmas, and could not come up with a name. They were often named whatever the first suggestion I offered was.
He will tell you what he wants (in terms of toys, games, etc.) while in the store, when they are staring him in the face. This is why we came up with the strategy of taking pictures of them with my phone and putting them on “his list”. This helps us get out of the store without having a meltdown about not purchasing what he wants then and there. And you may be thinking, “Great! Then you know exactly what he wants when it comes to birthdays and Christmas, because you have pictures of them right there on your phone!” But often, he never speaks about those things again, and I am left to wonder whether he really wants those things, or whether he was just attracted to them at the time. Was it true love or was it just lust?
Therefore, I did a mental double-take last week when we were at the store last week, and he saw some fleecy sleep pants he liked. He pronounced, “Mom, you could get these for my birthday! I want these for my birthday! Take a picture!” He repeated some variation of these three phrases for a couple of minutes, and I think he was as excited as I was that he had verbalized his want for something specific for his birthday.
A couple of says later, I casually asked, “Do you still play with your Bionicles?” He said, “Yes, I do. You could get me a Bionicle for my birthday, too.”
It may seem like a small distinction, but it was huge to me. He has never before asked for something specific for his birthday, and he continually amazes me by making these small (but huge) steps toward independence.
The Boy doesn’t have school today, so we are hoping to go see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 later. And that also means I don’t have much of a post today. But I want to take a moment to express how lucky I am, because Saturday was my birthday, and as usual, The Man and The Boy made it special:
They always get me a cake, they always get me a card, and they always light the candles and sing to me. And thanks to Grammy for taking The Boy out to get a gift for me. This is what family is about. :)
Be back tomorrow!
Eleven years ago, on this day, at 1:06pm, I gave birth to the light of my life.
The nurses quickly named him “Red”, as he was born with a full head of hair which looked red. When dry, though it turned out to be blonde, and to this day, The Boy’s hair looks red when wet, and blonde when dry.
He was a tiny little thing, just under 5 1/2 pounds, and took his sweet time coming into this world. I had to roll up the sleeves on his tiny newborn-sized clothes, he was so small.
The other day (probably the day I had to buy him size 4 shoes!), I asked The Boy what had happened to my little baby, the one I could fit on my forearm. He said, “Mom, it’s just life. It’s the life cycle. I’m growing!” I said, “Well, you will always be my baby, no matter how much you grow, right?” and he said, “Yes, I’ll always be your baby.”
Happy Birthday, Little Man!
Birthday parties. This is one of the toughest things about being a parent to a special needs child. I have said before that The Boy’s school does a great job fostering real relationships between the kids in the ASD program, … Continue reading
I Love Christmas. Not the light-up-my-house, craft-til-I-drop, wear-ugly-Christmas-sweaters kind of love. Nope. This kind of love has me planning and scheming all year, listening to little tidbits from my loved ones, and using my ninja skills to surprise them with … Continue reading
It is my birthday! Notice the exclamation point there? Yep. For someone fast approaching 40, you may not expect me to be at all excited about this anniversary of my birth, so very long ago. Except that I am. Here’s … Continue reading