Category Archives: Captain Random

Progress: Noticing a Difference

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measuring resultsI’ve done a few posts about exercise over the past year, and if you’ve been around awhile, you know it’s a relatively new concept for me.  For most of my life, my high metabolism has carried me through, and I haven’t been too worried about what I eat, or my weight in general.  Around the time of the breakup of my marriage, I was at my heaviest, and lost a lot that summer and fall, getting back to my more normal weight range.  And then about a year ago, I started to notice the cellulite and flab creeping in, and for the first time in my life, I wasn’t so happy with what I saw in the mirror.  Last winter, I bought some weights and a bike trainer so I could ride my own bike (which I love!) indoors.  I also started breaking out the yoga mat again on a semi-regular basis.  And it lasted awhile, but I didn’t really see results, so I slacked off and got out of the routine.  This past fall, I wrote about needing to get back into some kind of routine, because I was shocked at weighing in at the doctor’s and finding I was 15 pounds over my normal weight – yikes!  And then I came up with a plan.  And when that wasn’t quite working, I adjusted it a bit.  I struggled with it.  I really, really struggled with it, and I felt like I was failing.

And then in March, something clicked.  I started sticking to my plan.  The thing I thought I’d never do, get up early to workout, started working for me.  I found I wasn’t tired, I was very willing to get up and get on the bike, and just ride.  It was another opportunity for some alone time, and to process thoughts, so it wasn’t a crazy, chicken-with-its-head-cut-off kind of all-at-once start to my day.  And I coupled it with some targeted, low-impact exercises found on Pinterest a few minutes before bedtime.

And then…  I actually upped it.  I was riding the bike 3 times a week, and I bumped it up to 5 days a week (although sometimes I take a day off to do a 20 minute yoga routine instead).  And I started doing the night-time exercises every night.  And I added another routine found on Pinterest, and some sumo squats.  Not a ton, but enough to burn.  And I kept upping my resistance on the bike, making sure I was still sweating by the time I was done.

If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve gotten a few updates, which I promised, and which helps keep me accountable, and since the beginning of March, I’ve lost two inches on my hips!  And I woke up yesterday, and I couldn’t see my saddlebags anymore.  And that inner-thigh fat?  It’s fading.  They say it takes four weeks for you to notice the changes, and 8 weeks for close friends and family.  It’ll be interesting to see what The Man says when he comes to visit this week.

All I know is, for the first time in my life, I am enjoying working out, and I’m seeing results. :D

Moving On

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I’ve worked in the same place for twelve years.  And although I have had other jobs, even within this career, I have always been a teacher.  That will end in June, and it’s scary yet liberating, unfathomable yet exciting.  I shouldn’t necessarily say that I will not be teaching – I should qualify it with, “in the public schools”.  I am actually quite hopeful that I will continue teaching in some capacity, whether it is tutoring, private lessons, community college, or in some other area.  I mean, let’s face it — I’m not going to become an accountant, a cage fighter, or an astronaut.  I do this well enough, that I feel like I can transition my experience and skills into something similar if not the same.

mona in threadOne of Gardner’s multiple intelligences is Intrapersonal Intelligence which has to do with knowing and understanding yourself — I have always scored very highly in this area on those tests, probably from being an only child, with no one to analyze except myself.  I really think about my own emotions and reactions, and try to learn from myself on a constant basis.  I have been monitoring my feelings toward this slew of big change heading our way, and as the day gets closer, I have noticed a few things I will miss, for sure.  But mostly, I am ready.  Ready to be doing something else.  Ready to reactivate and rededicate my brain to new and different ventures.

Today, I received news that would have driven me insane – news about coming changes to my current position.  Almost simultaneously, I received news about a possible job prospect where I’m headed, one that is exactly the type of thing I was looking for.  And I thought, “How serendipitous that I receive both pieces of news on the same day!”  I could have headed down the negative path, worrying about what I’m now thinking of as “my old job”, but instead, I’m clearly thinking and moving toward this positive path, the path of my future.  I see that as even more proof that I’m ready.

Take Care

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how little people pay attention to those around them.  There have been a number of stories of people passing by strangers on the street who are in obvious distress, like the gay couple who were attacked in broad daylight across from the New Yorker offices while people inside the nearby McDonald’s chose to take photos and video with their phones rather than intervene.  Or the complete lack of courtesy displayed to other drivers that is so prevalent on our roads today.  Or the incessant bickering, and finger-pointing coming from our nation’s capital.

Taking CareBut, too, we hear the stories of people “paying it forward” – people paying for a family’s meal “just because”, or the athlete giving up his chance to compete to donate bone marrow.  And these stories make headlines because they are a bit shocking.  People go that much out of their way to help strangers?  Yes, yes they do.

It’s called courtesy.  It’s called caring for your fellow human.  Some call it fellowship, or humanitarianism, or good manners.  It’s just caring about people, and not just yourself and your own little world.

In the adolescent stage of human development, the individual is naturally self-centered.  There’s a natural, psychological reason why kids that age are so insecure – they really believe everyone is staring at their every pore everyday.  Do you remember that?  I certainly do.  And therefore, everyone must care about everything they do, and therefore, they see themselves as the most important thing in the universe.  My point is, it’s a stage in natural human development, and we are supposed to grow out of that, but many of us never do.  (And I think that percentage is getting higher, in part helped along by parents raising their children to believe that they are the most important thing in the universe.  But I digress.)

I think that the realization that you are not the sun, while everyone else is just flotsam — IN YOUR WAY…  I think that’s quite close to the meaning of life.  Knowing that we are here, put on this Earth to help each other, and acting upon it in your everyday life and dealings with others has got to be the be-all, end-all.

After these musings had been bouncing around my head for a few days, I saw this video which complemented my thoughts extremely well, except that I don’t think this worldview is dependent on education.  I think it’s dependent on being human.

Teacher Appreciation

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If you weren’t aware, this week is teacher appreciation week.  And I have a few things to say about teachers – a few blog posts-worth.  I’ll start with this…

My HomeworkTeachers work hard.  I know because I am one.  I also know because I watch others do it, and because I know my own son.  I remember my friends as students from my own time in school, and I have been immersed in the culture of education for the past 33 years.  I have also come to realize that teaching is one of the most difficult gigs out there.  I have only recently learned this from speaking to colleagues who have worked in other sectors before teaching (and some after teaching, as well).  And I can tell you that it has only gotten harder as the years have gone by.

Teachers, lately, have started verbalizing how difficult the job is, primarily because the demands have increased while the rewards have decreased.  And there has been considerable backlash.  No one goes into teaching because they get summers off (because we don’t, really) and will make loads of money, but neither should teachers qualify for public assistance, yet they do.  Neither should they have their names printed in the local paper, labeled “ineffective” based on their students’ test scores, yet they do.  Teachers are sometimes expected to produce miracles, and when they don’t they are vilified.

I consider myself a good teacher, and I don’t think it’s conceited to say so.  One knows when one is good at one’s job.  Notice I didn’t say “great”.  But over my career, I have been called a racist, a “favoritist”, I have had countless parents berate me over the phone, swear at me, and question me on why I didn’t let her daughter fill out her birthday invitations in class, or why I was upset that their son threw pencils at my office door.

Those aren’t typical days, but increasingly I am incredulous at  the things we deal with, from all sides.  It’s a really hard job.  And parents who really know their children usually get it.  It’s too bad so many don’t have a clue who their own children are (“My son doesn’t lie!”).

So take a moment this week, and think about the people who have taught you, and the people who are teaching the children of today.  Send them good thoughts and/or prayers that they will continue to have the strength to do the job they do, because that’s what they really need, so much more than the trinkets from the dollar store, and the cookies.  They need your support in the classroom, in the community, and at the polls.  They sacrifice so much and work so hard for our kids, and will never be appreciated enough for doing so.

IEPs, and Moving Trucks, and Appointments, Oh My!

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Tomorrow, The Boy’s IEP team meets.  I am extremely lucky to have teachers that get him, and fight for what he truly needs, and a school system that allows us to make the best decisions for him that are not based on the almighty dollar.  I know many districts are not like that (ahem… some rather intimately…), and I know this isn’t the typical IEP experience.  I’m a little nervous about this being the last IEP meeting where I do not have to fight tooth and nail for my son.

kid to do list, list, Be happy and go home

kid to do list, Carissa GoodNCrazy

I also have to make arrangements and get things done — no rest for the wicked on this day.  Securing a rental truck for our big move, speaking to our wedding officiant, doing paperwork for The Boy’s summer day camp… The list goes on and on.

And finally, thanks to our super-accomodating pediatric office (*sarcasm*), I have to pull The Boy out of school at the end of the day, causing him to have to miss Kids Club for his physical appointment.  We’ve prepped him (both at home and at school – I LOVE his teacher!), and he should be OK, but you just never know.  I’ve built in a few treats after the appointment (a trip to Target, and dinner at his favorite restaurant) so that he has “good stuff” to look forward to and get him through.

And so… When I am busy like this, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but I’m actually doing OK.  I enjoy having a list of things to do, and especially relish the crossing-off of the things on the to-do list.  I feel like every “check!” is bringing us closer to family, summer, and the beginning of something beautiful.

Spring

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WaitingWe are sitting on the front steps.  He is folded over so his upper body is in my lap, his head facing east, eagerly anticipating his first glimpse of her.  I am folded over him, arms around him, my baseball cap brim shielding his eyes from the sun, my head resting on his shoulder.  We are waiting for the ice cream lady for the first time since last summer.  We can feel the warmth from the sun on our backs, and it is one of those moments you wish you could bottle up and re-live again and again in the future.

The Shoulds

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should what? by 416style

should what? by 416style

Oh, I get so tired of The Shoulds.  I am sitting here, looking comfy and relaxed on the outside, but berating myself on the inside for all of the things I should be doing.  The Almighty List of Things to Do is being read over an over inside my head, in a clanging loop, and I just can’t reason with that voice.

Grammy and Poppy just left this morning for home.  They know I love having them, and we had a really, really great week – it’s been so long since they visited us up here!  But everyone understands, I’m sure, that it would be perfectly acceptable to revel in some alone (The Boy is of course here too, so alone-together?) time after house guests depart.  To just sit, do what one wants to do for awhile, enjoying the ambient sounds of a pretty-decent-outside-for-once Saturday coming in through the windows?

But not those nagging, mean-as-hell Shoulds.  They are reminding me of the house showings coming up this week, that looming deadline to get the monumental task of making the house look respectable. Oh, and also the usual chores of the weekend.  And the million-and-one things I have yet to do before our big move in oh-my-God-seven weeks…

I hate The Shoulds.  I hate it even more when they’re right.

Is it Really Spring? For Real?

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I’m not saying I have Seasonal Affective Disorder or anything, but a lack of sunshine up here in the winter months really takes it’s toll.  And spring here is also cruel, giving us a few days of nice temps or sunshine (or if we’re really lucky, both at the same time!), but then the 30 and 40 degree temps come back in the end.  And it isn’t until we’re well into May that we can relax and realize that spring is here, for another month and a half until it turns downright hot, and the switch is flipped to summer.

To all the people that call spring their favorite season, I understand why.  The hope, the baby animals, the buds, yadda yadda…  But where I live, it just doesn’t live up to the hype.  Yeah, we have a few nice days here and there, but most of the time, we’re left wishin’ and hopin’ and prayin’.

Today is one of those pretty nice days: 65 degrees, although overcast, still enough of a breeze to require a jacket, and lovely little harbingers of warmer weather making their presence known:

first sign of spring

(please disregard the weeds in the picture – I have no idea how they got there!  And don’t get excited about the tulip-looking thing beside the crocus… My tulips are head-less….)

But I’m no dummy, and I ain’t gonna fall for it.  I think we’re back down to the 40s again this weekend.  The wait continues…

Need to Reboot!

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Did you ever have a day that felt like a complete waste?  I’m beginning to get overwhelmed, and as a result, I’m shutting down: not working out, not getting much done.  Too much thinking, and not enough doing.  I’m feeling fatigued and headache-y for no reason, and it’s taking major effort to get anything on my to-do list to-done.

Get things down to get things doneDesperate times call for desperate measures.  When I am thinking too much, I need to do a brain dump on a pad of paper, and write down every little thing that keeps popping up, even to the point of keeping it on my nightstand and jotting things down as they come to me in the middle of the night.  This is part of the Getting Things Done philosophy that I use, albeit on an irregular basis.  Once everything gets “dumped”, it needs to be organized into things that I can do something about, and things I can’t.  If I can’t do anything about it, at least it’s on paper and not circling my brain anymore.  If I can do something about it, it joins my to-do list.  For smaller tasks like housework, I can use the Pomodoro technique to get myself in gear, and the calendar works for larger to-do items – deadlines have always worked for me.

A day off (for organizational purposes, of course) and a massage (purely for the headache-y, fatigue-y feeling) may also be in order.

I don’t have time to be in a funk!

Savoring Beautiful Moments

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One of the easiest ways I have found to de-stress is to store up memories of beautiful moments, and pull them out in times of need.  Bec over at Snagglebox talks about it here.  My memory is for crap, but for some reason, when I am enjoying a moment, I have the ability to stop, tell myself to remember it, and retrieve it later.

One of those moments occurred on my recent vacation down south.  The Man and I went on a day trip, and stopped at a favorite spot, a large garden (which is actually acres of green stuff, and a favorite location for weddings because they are so beautiful).  Near the large pond (home to a few swans), there are trellis-covered walkways, and as we walked directly under one, I suddenly smelled an intensely beautiful bloom.  Seeking the source, I discovered they were directly above me, and I lingered a moment to breathe in the lovely scent, and of course, snap a photo.

Lovely Mystery Flower

Does anyone know the name of it?