Technically, I’m not a single mom anymore, having just gotten remarried. But I don’t think that job title ever really leaves you…
I can’t count the number of times people have asked the question that makes us single moms, or moms of kids with special needs shake our heads… “How do you do it?” My response? I just do. There’s no alternative. Just like everyone else on the planet, we don’t get to see our “alternate life”: the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s. This is it. This is our only chance, and so we do our damndest to do it right the first time, because fixing mistakes takes a lot of time, and often sparks meltdowns — not the kids’, OURS.
I’m nowhere near an expert on parenting solo, blending families, parenting kids with special needs, or any of the other things I do to keep myself sane (cooking, baking, photography, napping). But I can remember 2 times in my life being scared out of my wits and not knowing where to turn: 1) hearing my son’s diagnosis, and 2) deciding to file for divorce. Going through both of those things (and countless others) was made a hell of a lot easier by being able to listen to, talk to, and commiserate with others, sometimes anonymously.
PS My blavatar is “Lake Van in Turkey” by Ingeborg Bernhard, 1977
PPS I refer to my son on this blog as “The Boy” not because I am cold, or mean, or unfeeling, and not to “distance” myself from him. I call him “The Boy” because he is my only boy – My One and Only! There are no other boys next to him. I call my husband “The Man” for the same reason. They are the only boy and only man a woman could ever want.